I agree that you need to seek help. I wish I could offer more, but I too had trouble reading your post. Maybe try again? Do you speak English? maybe that's the issue?
Best to you....life is worth living, and there is help out there!
Drinking Brandy isn't likely to extend your life, but we all die, so you are not unique in that respect. Get yourself checked out by a Doctor. :You are responsible for yourself, if you do things you recognize as harmful then you know how to stop them? Life's wonderful, don't waste any of it. If you are ill then find out what's causing it. Being dead lasts a very long time ~ this is your one shot at it. Don't waste it.Good Luck.
I did not understand some of your words. but I feel that you are having problems where you work. and it is getting to you. don't let them or her get to you. be strong you can do it, maybe the drinking is not helping much.. that just dulls things for a while. I have been there. but life goes on. the drinking will destroy your liver and some times your stomach. slow down to one to relax you when you get home. you need to go to a doctor. they will be able to help you get through this. you might need some anxiety pills or depression meds that is for the doctor to decide. good luck please get well. you will find new friends in medhelp. mandy876