Aa
depressing thoughts leading to suicidal thoughts
hi guys, im an 18 year old guy who just graduated high school.
i've always had a problem with depression throughout my life. i grew up in an abusive household where my dad beat us.
ever since i was in 1st grade i've had sucidial thoughts. but the thing is, i've never told anyone. i've always held my emotions and pain all within. i never told my family.
this brings me to where i am now. later in life i fell madly in love with this girl for 3 years. my life hasnt been all that great til i met her. it seemed like i finally found that angel i was looking for to save me from my depression. my friends said that she not a good person and she had her own depression. i was there for her, as much as she was there for me.
i actually saved her from committing suicide.
but recently , she broke up with me. after 3 years of my soul which was given to her. she found a a boyfriend 2 weeks later. not only that shes inviting the entire school to a party. and the one person in the school not invited, is me.
like i've been really depressed, and just recently i've been sucidial. yesterday i tried.
because of my depression i've been experimenting with alot of drugs like pot, tylenol pm , and alot of benadryl.
these all calm me because they make me sleepy. i like to sleep, because its an escape from reality and pain.
i want to live, but i dont want to. please somoene , help me. please.
i've always had a problem with depression throughout my life. i grew up in an abusive household where my dad beat us.
ever since i was in 1st grade i've had sucidial thoughts. but the thing is, i've never told anyone. i've always held my emotions and pain all within. i never told my family.
this brings me to where i am now. later in life i fell madly in love with this girl for 3 years. my life hasnt been all that great til i met her. it seemed like i finally found that angel i was looking for to save me from my depression. my friends said that she not a good person and she had her own depression. i was there for her, as much as she was there for me.
i actually saved her from committing suicide.
but recently , she broke up with me. after 3 years of my soul which was given to her. she found a a boyfriend 2 weeks later. not only that shes inviting the entire school to a party. and the one person in the school not invited, is me.
like i've been really depressed, and just recently i've been sucidial. yesterday i tried.
because of my depression i've been experimenting with alot of drugs like pot, tylenol pm , and alot of benadryl.
these all calm me because they make me sleepy. i like to sleep, because its an escape from reality and pain.
i want to live, but i dont want to. please somoene , help me. please.
i've been still depressed, sad and gloomy. its still very had for me to get out of bed.
right now i'm just trying to find a direction and a reason to strive for achievement,
yesterday was very different. for some reason i had glimpses of happiness, and i actually smiled. it felt like the light was brighter than usual.
however today, i woke up ..and felt like garbage. i began taking the 5htp and st johns.
the 5htp has a very relaxing feel to it.
and to this date, i'm 10 days sober. its a very odd feeling and a weird way for me to look at life.
thanks for your time againn
right now i'm just trying to find a direction and a reason to strive for achievement,
yesterday was very different. for some reason i had glimpses of happiness, and i actually smiled. it felt like the light was brighter than usual.
however today, i woke up ..and felt like garbage. i began taking the 5htp and st johns.
the 5htp has a very relaxing feel to it.
and to this date, i'm 10 days sober. its a very odd feeling and a weird way for me to look at life.
thanks for your time againn
Maybe people don't understand you because you're reluctant to let them in.
You can talk in comfort to a priest or whoever, because they don't care whether you're religious or not, and you can bet that whatever you tell them, they've heard it a hundred times before.
Same with your doctor.He or she probably won't truly understand you, but they will have experienced similar cases thousands of times in the course of their career, plus they have an armoury of weapons at their disposal that can truly help you.
The more you tell me, the more I really feel you should see your family doctor. I'd just hate to think that in 5 years time you'll be thinking to yourself 'why didn't I do this years ago. I could have spared myself all that pain'.
Consider it please.
Take care
You can talk in comfort to a priest or whoever, because they don't care whether you're religious or not, and you can bet that whatever you tell them, they've heard it a hundred times before.
Same with your doctor.He or she probably won't truly understand you, but they will have experienced similar cases thousands of times in the course of their career, plus they have an armoury of weapons at their disposal that can truly help you.
The more you tell me, the more I really feel you should see your family doctor. I'd just hate to think that in 5 years time you'll be thinking to yourself 'why didn't I do this years ago. I could have spared myself all that pain'.
Consider it please.
Take care
the thing is , im just really scared to reach out because ive been so used to talking to my ex.
and i feel like no one TRULY understands me. i feel like people can only give me advice , but cant really do anything about it. i just feel scared taht people will just deny me. throughout my life , i've been religious but i've been really skeptical about it lately, and i've been doubting it. so im unsure of what or who i can talk to. i have bad relations with my father, and my mom..well i dont want to worry her.
and i feel like no one TRULY understands me. i feel like people can only give me advice , but cant really do anything about it. i just feel scared taht people will just deny me. throughout my life , i've been religious but i've been really skeptical about it lately, and i've been doubting it. so im unsure of what or who i can talk to. i have bad relations with my father, and my mom..well i dont want to worry her.
Just one more thought.
If you really don't have anyone you feel you can confide in, go to your nearest church.
It doesn't matter a bit whether you believe in a god or not. Speak to the priest/minister/vicar or whoever.
That's what they're there for and what they get paid for. also they aren't allowed to divulge anything you say to them in confidence.
I work in a hospital, and there have been times when things have been rough I've gone to see the chaplain. He doesn't preach at me. He's there to listen and advise. Sometimes just getting it all off your chest to a total stranger who doesn't judge you is a great relief.
If you really don't have anyone you feel you can confide in, go to your nearest church.
It doesn't matter a bit whether you believe in a god or not. Speak to the priest/minister/vicar or whoever.
That's what they're there for and what they get paid for. also they aren't allowed to divulge anything you say to them in confidence.
I work in a hospital, and there have been times when things have been rough I've gone to see the chaplain. He doesn't preach at me. He's there to listen and advise. Sometimes just getting it all off your chest to a total stranger who doesn't judge you is a great relief.
My personal feeling is that the OTC remedies may not be enough to lift you from where you are now.
I think you should see your family doctor. You can just talk to him/her and if you're not happy with their advice you're not compelled to take it.
As for talking to your ex, well you probably know best since you know her well, but I can see two possible dangers here.
One, is that if she's settled into a new relationship, she may just see you as a nuisance or a burden, which certainly wont make you feel any better. Two... I wonder if you're really hoping that the two of you might get back together. If so, that road could just lead to more heartbreak.
I really do hope you'll consider talking to a doctor though. If you've been having suicidal thoughts it doesn't get a lot worse than that. I think you do need help.
Take care
I think you should see your family doctor. You can just talk to him/her and if you're not happy with their advice you're not compelled to take it.
As for talking to your ex, well you probably know best since you know her well, but I can see two possible dangers here.
One, is that if she's settled into a new relationship, she may just see you as a nuisance or a burden, which certainly wont make you feel any better. Two... I wonder if you're really hoping that the two of you might get back together. If so, that road could just lead to more heartbreak.
I really do hope you'll consider talking to a doctor though. If you've been having suicidal thoughts it doesn't get a lot worse than that. I think you do need help.
Take care
Have an Answer?
You are reading content posted in the Depression Community
15 signs that it’s more than just the blues
Discover the common symptoms of and treatment options for depression.
We've got five strategies to foster happiness in your everyday life.
Don’t let the winter chill send your smile into deep hibernation. Try these 10 mood-boosting tips to get your happy back
A list of national and international resources and hotlines to help connect you to needed health and medical services.
Herpes sores blister, then burst, scab and heal.
