You are obviously depressed and need to get help. I'm happy to hear that you are "not proud" of smoking weed, and it is never a good idea at any age. Your attempts at drinking and smoking weed is self medicating, which is a slippery slope that will send your spiraling downward until you may never be able to get up! If ever bored find something productive to do with your life, don't waste your prescious time on this earth going up in smoke. Smoking weed is not a sport, it's a cheap way to escape the real world when you no longer are man enough to face it. You sound very bright, and posting on here is a big step in the right direction, but you need to get medical help. Life can be difficult at times, and always will be, so you need to develop a way of thinking to get through the tough times. Change what you can, and accept what you can't. I'm sure you've seen a lot with your dad and do not want to end up like him. You need therapy, either through a school counselor, your mom, or if you're of age, a psychiatrist. Sometimes just being able to talk to someone helps. Know that there are no perfect families, no perfect lives, or perfect people. Everyone is struggling with something. But YOU have the power to choose how you will feel about something, and how to live your life. As my son would say "don't give away your power." Nobody hurts our feelings, or puts us in a bad mood, WE are choosing to feel this way as we are the ONLY one who has the power to determine how we will react to someone's actions. Keep moving forward, as I know you can. You are not alone with the depression, and it's nothing to be embarrassed about. Start getting help somehow. You have the ability to know what is right and wrong, and are choosing a respectable, responsible way to live your life in realizing that you are not happy in your life. Good luck to you...........
Hi,
What you state in your post is clearly related to depression and not just normal teenage angst. First thing? If you are under 24 do not smoke weed. I do but I didn't start until about 26 and am irregular, Every 6 months or so. Continual use is a one way street to lethargy and boredom. Under about 24 it changes you brain and curbs your learning abilities. And motivation etc. Stop it now and wait. It's supposed to be fun, remember? Not depressing. Do it when you enjoy it, not to escape misery as you won't.
See a doctor please and get a diagnosis.
No one is daignosed as an alcoholic. It's a self assesment thing. The label doesn't matter, it's regular and heavy drinking that is both the issue and problem. I did it for 20 plus years. And in retrospect it was my way of self treating. I went out every 3 or 4 days and drank till I was broke or couldn't stand up. Then couldn't drink for several days as I hurt too much.
I was employed during all that and did well work wise but looking back I have no idea how I managed it. Was I an alcoholic? Does it matter? I was destroying myself and was depressed for a very long time, still am but gave up drinking 10 years ago now. And smoking, 2.5 years ago. Not much left to give up but I feel a hell of a lot better.