do I have depression

[depression1990]

Hey I'm 14, I think I have depression, I can not sleep at night I always think off things in my head about the past. I got bullied for 3years and I think that has affected me. I have had problems at home with my mum and sister always arguing 24/7.I smoke and sometimes take drugs to calm me down. I wanted to commit sucide one time but I didn't do it, I used to cut myself instead and sometimes I do it now because I have been called hurtful names etc. When I go to bed I lie there and cry myself to sleep.I never go downstairs to watch television with my mum and she wants to know why I say 'I just want to stay in my room'. I never socalize with my friends now I always used to have a big smile on my face and have a laugh with them, I always used to do activities but I don't know more I don't know why but I need help please tell mee,thank you!

[SMcGregor]

After a negative situation or an event takes place, a trigger mechanism within you is activated which can send you “straight into depression”. It could be a thought about a previous failure, an event with a friend, or something that sparks sadness or anger that starts the downward spiral.

Learn to immediately replace the negative thought with a positive event – thus responding instead of reacting. And exercise helps to handle depression – ensure you have a good, healthy balanced diet and make exercise part of a daily regime.

Regards,

[Bubulous]

Drugs and self harm are a way of coping and they are very dangerous.  I grew up a lot like you and I cannot tell you to force yourself to get out there and try to socialize or try to deal with your mom and your sister although if you can start making small steps towards leaving your room that would be beneficial.
I isolated a lot when I was younger and it did help me but I didn't brood or stay inside my head.  What I did was draw, work out, and I made my room my sanctuary where nothing could bother me.  I don't want to condone isolation but if you must do it then use that time to realize something.  The only one you have control over is you.  Sometimes we must build up walls and barriers to keep people from hurting us.  Don't give anyone that power.  If they don't appreciate you than don't give them power over your emotions.  We are all meant to shine and someday you will.