do i have a problem?? plz read (not long)

[Itzm3]

ive been crying myself to sleepar least 3 times a week for the past 3 weeks. pictures of hurting myself are sneaking in my mind. i go into these rages and start throwing things and breaking them and going nuts. i have conversation in my head all the time, it gives me a head ache....i stop eating for like maybe 4 days to a week b/c that doesnt leave a scar....i feeel braver in a sense and just speak my feeling to my dad, i dont even care if i get slapped or anything.

i wanna run away, i dont even wanna be here, i dont wanna be put in the mental hospital but i'd rather be there than this hell hole called home. i feel like everything is spinnning and cant stop and thers nothing i can do about it....i cant sleep but then after 3 hrs im fine...i get into these hyper as hell moods and i for some reason get in trouble for that too.  i have insane mood swings ,...they're horrible i cud be laughing one moment and crying and not wanting to be here the next

they all hate me in this house, i know it....the wants me to be miserable and wants to control me....thers spies at skool telling him everything i do...but i did make an appt with the skool counselor cuz i cnt take this anymore...hpefully she wont tell him wat i say, or that i came to her...i feeeeel so alone and depressed..idk anymore...

[Itzm3]

thank you for commenting.....i talked to my skool counselor today...shes rly nice and i told her my history about being sexually abused...and my cutting and my moods and she said she will look for alternatives  for me instead of cutting or destroying things....um she told me to continue to write....and track my moods

[goodgardenpeas28]

I kind of know what you're going through and the best bet is to see a school counselor, unless they think you are a danger to yourself or others they are not allowed (by law) to tell your parents what you say.  

[doomsDAYisComming]

you are kind of going through what i am but not to worrie all the sayings good thing happn to those who wait. i have the same prob as you i cud be laughing one moment and crying and not wanting to be here the next. i have people who are following me around the whole day at skool i pretend not to see them and then i see them talking to my rents after skool on what i did on the day. i have run away two times and got draged back home yelled at and hit but i got used to it. i have been drawing al my feelings out, it seems to help it about what you feel happy doing i some times kicka tree, i have 7 skool councelers, they are not allowed to tell ur rents wat u say unless they feel like your causeing a danger to you or some one else. i am alone and depressed no one in my family to turn to. plz tell me if im wrong.
i think you should got to this counceler i can give you a refferal councler outa skool but she will go to you she has helped me alot she is nice and went through what we wnet through. she does not tell you rents that you talk to her and at the end of each month she will take you out some where to have a bit of fun. dw she pays. she listend to every thing you say and she is young. she will help you sort things out if you need her here is her number 0418560352 or 1300552509 her name is angela peos just say casey reffered her to you. but im verry sorry is=f i am wrong.