Aa
hate myself
Hey
I dont know why i hate myself so much! i dont know someone who hates herself more than me!im so so angry at myself all the time ..i hate in such a way that i cant explain it..am i being crazy?i dont think normal people hate themselves plzzz HELP what should i do?
I dont know why i hate myself so much! i dont know someone who hates herself more than me!im so so angry at myself all the time ..i hate in such a way that i cant explain it..am i being crazy?i dont think normal people hate themselves plzzz HELP what should i do?
Frequently therapy of any kind will produce a kind of resistance. You are very used to the way things have been. At some level, you are comfortable with your situation. Change is hard and sometimes scary. Your feelings that your therapist hated you could be a result of such resistance. Hang in there and keep trying. You can get through this.
I can't add much too the good advice you've already been given here.
I'd just like to say....when we have no love for ourselves we cannot feel love towards others likewise if we simply don't 'like' ourselves,,,we can't perceive anyone else
'liking' us either!
Keep seeing this psychotherapist...he doesn't hate you at all...this is only your perception and keep remembering this!
By continuing your treatment I'm sure you will feel different abt yourself and him too over time.
You have had many years to grow these feelings now it will take time to learn how to rethink your emotions.
good luck dear
I'd just like to say....when we have no love for ourselves we cannot feel love towards others likewise if we simply don't 'like' ourselves,,,we can't perceive anyone else
'liking' us either!
Keep seeing this psychotherapist...he doesn't hate you at all...this is only your perception and keep remembering this!
By continuing your treatment I'm sure you will feel different abt yourself and him too over time.
You have had many years to grow these feelings now it will take time to learn how to rethink your emotions.
good luck dear
Thank u alooot..your comments are really helpfull..i had a psychotherapist and i even had a few sessions with him but i dont go anymore because i think he hates me..maybe he doesnt but i feel this way i dont know..i feel everyone hates me and i also hate everyone!particularly bcoz of this i hate myself even more..im afraid to go to another psychotherapist bcoz what if i leave him too?then i will be sooo disappointed with myself ..besides my former psychotherapist was one of the best in my country and i really like him but if he hates me surely i cant continue with him..
Actually, the "rubber band trick" is classical CBT, not a trick. It works for reducing intrusive thoughts, not just for a few days but for the long term. The really important part, in my opinion, is finding positive thoughts to replace the negative ones. Classical talk therapy spends lots of time trying to delve into why we think and feel the way we do, but CBT usually is about changing the behaviors and thought patterns that cause us distress, i.e. reducing negative thoughts, increasing positive activity, etc.
Hello dear,
Anger at yourself can have many origins but it is most frequently associated with parental upbringing. How you learnt from them as a young child is often the basic reason for this hatred. So many parents mean well but use the negative method of telling you that you haven't done well enough, you can do better if you try and all that negative messages.
Rather than complimenting you when you achieve something. This is the way to go, from here especially. You will have to do that for yourself though by setting small targets and rewarding yourself as you do achieve each thing.
Baby steps is a common term and what it means is don't be ambitious. Aim to, maybe, get out of bed at a particular time for 3 days. If you do it, then reward yourself with a small treat. Build it up so you get your mind used to trying to please YOU and expect a pleasant result instead of "You haven't done well enough, quickly enough" as our parents tend to do.
Focus on this. It is not you that you hate at all. It is the image you have been given of someone that you are not that you hate. Unfortunately it is now your job to eliminate that image and replace it with the real you, the one you know, underneath, has been there all along.
Life is not about pleasing others, you must please yourself first and then you can help others if you feel that need. But if you can't cope then no one will benefit.
The rubber band method desribed above is a simple psychologists trick to occupy your mind short term. It doesn't actually work for more than a few days.
It is based on a much more succesful psychological strategy called CBT (Cognitive Behaviour Therapy). This is where you learn why you get certain thoughts, how they cause you to react and how you can learn to change those outcomes by changing the meaning or stopping the negative thoughts and images you feed yourself.
It all stems from you, your thoughts. There is nothing external involved. Your thoughts crerate the misery and therefore your thoughts can reverse that and make you feel better.
See a therapist about this, not a psychiatrist. If a shrink is needed (to prescribe drugs) then that can be done later. Right now therapy is first stop. After seeing your local doctor first.
Good luck and never lose sight of who you really are and it is not the person you currently hate. That's someoene else's imposed image of you through their jaded eyes.
Anger at yourself can have many origins but it is most frequently associated with parental upbringing. How you learnt from them as a young child is often the basic reason for this hatred. So many parents mean well but use the negative method of telling you that you haven't done well enough, you can do better if you try and all that negative messages.
Rather than complimenting you when you achieve something. This is the way to go, from here especially. You will have to do that for yourself though by setting small targets and rewarding yourself as you do achieve each thing.
Baby steps is a common term and what it means is don't be ambitious. Aim to, maybe, get out of bed at a particular time for 3 days. If you do it, then reward yourself with a small treat. Build it up so you get your mind used to trying to please YOU and expect a pleasant result instead of "You haven't done well enough, quickly enough" as our parents tend to do.
Focus on this. It is not you that you hate at all. It is the image you have been given of someone that you are not that you hate. Unfortunately it is now your job to eliminate that image and replace it with the real you, the one you know, underneath, has been there all along.
Life is not about pleasing others, you must please yourself first and then you can help others if you feel that need. But if you can't cope then no one will benefit.
The rubber band method desribed above is a simple psychologists trick to occupy your mind short term. It doesn't actually work for more than a few days.
It is based on a much more succesful psychological strategy called CBT (Cognitive Behaviour Therapy). This is where you learn why you get certain thoughts, how they cause you to react and how you can learn to change those outcomes by changing the meaning or stopping the negative thoughts and images you feed yourself.
It all stems from you, your thoughts. There is nothing external involved. Your thoughts crerate the misery and therefore your thoughts can reverse that and make you feel better.
See a therapist about this, not a psychiatrist. If a shrink is needed (to prescribe drugs) then that can be done later. Right now therapy is first stop. After seeing your local doctor first.
Good luck and never lose sight of who you really are and it is not the person you currently hate. That's someoene else's imposed image of you through their jaded eyes.
You're not alone. Lots of people feel that way. I spent most of my life not only hating myself, but fervently believing that everyone I met hated me too! It's not healthy, and it's something you want to work on, but it's not crazy or abnormal.
The previous poster gave you exactly the advice I would have, the "Stop, pop and Roll on" method. When you think a negative thought, like "I hate myself," or "Why am I so stupid/ugly/whatever." Just mentally say, "STOP!", pop the rubber band and then consciously replace the negative thought with something positive.
You may want to sit down and brainstorm a list of positive things to say to yourself to replace the negative thought. It sometimes can be hard to come up with one on the spur of the moment. If you keep a notebook where you make a mark each time you have the negative thought you're trying to get rid of, then you can watch the numbers dwindle over time which adds even more positive-ness to the experience. :)
Above all, don't beat yourself up for having these feelings. It's like adding insult to injury! You probably learned these negative thoughts over a long period of time. Perhaps a parent made random comments when you were a child that made you feel worthless or less-than. They probably did not mean it that way, but kids are really susceptible to negative words. What I'm trying to say is, It's not your fault. And, you can feel better. It will take a little work, but you have everything you need inside of you to do everything you need to do!
The previous poster gave you exactly the advice I would have, the "Stop, pop and Roll on" method. When you think a negative thought, like "I hate myself," or "Why am I so stupid/ugly/whatever." Just mentally say, "STOP!", pop the rubber band and then consciously replace the negative thought with something positive.
You may want to sit down and brainstorm a list of positive things to say to yourself to replace the negative thought. It sometimes can be hard to come up with one on the spur of the moment. If you keep a notebook where you make a mark each time you have the negative thought you're trying to get rid of, then you can watch the numbers dwindle over time which adds even more positive-ness to the experience. :)
Above all, don't beat yourself up for having these feelings. It's like adding insult to injury! You probably learned these negative thoughts over a long period of time. Perhaps a parent made random comments when you were a child that made you feel worthless or less-than. They probably did not mean it that way, but kids are really susceptible to negative words. What I'm trying to say is, It's not your fault. And, you can feel better. It will take a little work, but you have everything you need inside of you to do everything you need to do!
No, you're not crazy. But it does sound like you have an anger issue and where that came from can only be determined by a psychiatrist. Sometimes in depression we do this, other times we are angry over different things in our lives, past and present, or we simply don't know why we are so angry. Seeing a psychiatrist can help you sort thru all this, and get your lifeback to normal. A simple therapy that works well with negative thoughts is to keep a rubber band on your wrist and every time you begin an angry thought about yourself, snap it hard. It will sting, but it redirects your thought, until you find yourself rarely snapping it. But still see a doctor to get to the source of your anger, so you can be happy again. Take care....
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