help me

[rainbowshadow]

Okay so I've taken those online teen and even adult depression tests and they all said I am depressed. I'm 13. I live with my grandma but still see my mom a lot. Recently I was molested numerous times by people close to important people in my life. Since then I started and quit drugs and alchohol. I've cut but stopped. I like to be crazy with my friends but lately I just do t want to. I'm very easily irritated at home and sad all the time, no energy, I've gained a lot of weight in the past year, I hate myself, I think about suicide alot, I'm rebellious, I'm often stupid about decision making. My family is poor, I no I'm depressed but if I day something about it we won't have money for the help or whatever I need. How should I talk to somebody about this

[mammo]

Hi......start with your grandma and keep going until someone listens!  If they don't listen then write to those you feel can help you, often when we have to read something we tend to truly hear what is being said.  Your school is a good place to get help if the family can't or won't help you. There are resources for those who can't afford help and the school will know how to get your family in touch with these people. You've been through so much it's no wonder you're depressed!  But you have made some good choices and appear to have become a stronger person for all you've been through....good for you!  Know that you have done nothing wrong, and the people molesting you are at fault. It's horrible that you have been dealing with this, but don't lose sight of the wonderful person you are!  Don't allow them to strip you of your dignity and pride...stay determined to get help and move beyond all of this.  Right now you can't help how you feel...the depression is making you feel this way, but with help you can have the happy life you deserve.  Continue to make the right choices in your life, one day soon YOU will be calling the shots and will be free of this!  Can you talk to your grandmother about the molestation?  You shouldn't have to continue enduring this.  Don't be afraid to say "NO" to whomever is doing this to you.  You've taken a big step by sharing with us and we all understand how you're feeling....so know you're not alone.  We're always here for you so write to us anytime for help or just to vent.  Start talking to everyone and keep going until you can get some help.  Big hugs.....

[4Maddie44]

Hi, Do you have anyone at school, say a counsellor, who can listen to you, and help.  I understand it is not easy for you, and you cannot afford medication.  Would your grandma let you see a doctor?  Does she know ho you feel?  What about your mom?  Can she help?