Hello my dear. Please talk to a doctor about how you feel. You must reach out and ask for help. You can of course, talk to us here, but we cannot tell you what you must do. You are telling us how you feel, but you need to tell a professional.
Depression is a very lonely place to be, I know that. Reach out for help please.
I feel for you nina, I am also blessed and should be really happy, but I'm not, I have depression and it can sometimes put a cloud over my otherwise wonderful life. I agree with MMahon, you need to get counselling, some are better than others, but get talking to a professional right away. Best of luck to you, you are not alone :) Jodie
Have you considered counseling? You should go and see your GP and get a good physical exam and blood work. Discuss your feelings with your GP and get a referral to a therapist.
It sounds like you may be suffering fromdepression but only a trained professional can tell for sure. Let us know how you are doing.