Bummed out...

[drummerguy7]

I'm really bummed out and feel like a piece of ****. I can't seem to get my *** in gear. I wish I didn't feel so apathetic but I do. I'm taking some vistaril,ativan and some beers in the evening. I used to be in good shape and run 4-5 miles several times a week. Now, I just feel pathetic and a total loser. My self-esteem is zero. How can I change?

[Jade59]

Hello!  I'm sorry you're feeling so bad.  If I were you, the first thing I would work on is the alcohol.  It is a depressant and will only add to your depression.  And taking it on top of your meds just adds to the problem.  A good policy to keep when taking meds is NO ALCOHOL.  

My suggestion would be to get into talk therapy.  Second, cut out all alcohol and start running again.  The exercise will raise the seratonin levels in your brain and help your mood.  I bet if you think about it, you will see that you feel worse NOW than before you stopped running.  I started walking 9mos ago.  I sure don't feel like doing it every day, but I MAKE MYSELF and that's what you have to do if you want to feel better.  I can say from experience that just sitting around makes everything worse.  

Good luck!

[fuzzy882]

The best advise you can get. Thank's FMXSMKR!!

You'r flirting with danger when mixing the pills and alcohol.  There bringing you way down.  Get out and get those feet moving again. I will bet that you will feel better in no time.

[el_dave]

If you don't feel too much like running, maybe walk. When things were really bad for me, and I'd finally drag my sorry behind out of the sack, I'd come back here into the shop and look at all the fruitless work to do to make worthless money.. you know, everything was useless. If I'd have stayed in here chances are very good I'd have blown my brains out. I'm not exaggerating, I honestly thought if I stayed in there another minute I'd go for the gun. So I'd hit the street and just walk ten miles. It was difficult at first because it, too, seemed useless, but five miles in one direction, five miles back, and on arriving perhaps I still wouldn't feel good, but at least I'd forget about whacking myself for a while. Just plodding along doesn't require as much initiative as running, but it gets you out of the house.

Everybody's saying to cut out the beer. It might be those other things you want to cut out. I have a good friend right across the street whose husband died right next to her in bed. The poor chick (I'm allowed, she likes me to call her that) should be as bummed out as can be, but she just has a few beers every night and gets by pretty well. Anyway, it's another alternative.

I have another friend, also a lady, who used the exact term 'total loser' you did. Zero self esteem. Man, this is about the most exquisitely beautiful lady you've ever seen, sweet as sugar cane, smart as a whip, I mean she's got it all. It was the people around her who made her feel that way.. an alcoholic mother, a druggie husband.. always harping at her and trying to make her feel their faults were her fault. THEY were the losers and they dragged her down. So maybe you might want to check around and see if there's anything like that going on with yourself.

Best of luck, man. By the way, don't think it can't go away. I was so down I was just thrilled with the idea of dying, and somehow it just seems to have gone away. About the only thing that's really changed is coming in here and talking with the same people you are.. so maybe they're working some major mojo around here. Anyway, for whatever reason, I'm here to tell you that it doesn't have to be forever you feel rotten.