managing flashbacks and bad dreams and panic attacks

[affraid_to_sleep]

For the last three nights I have been back in the pattern of waking up shaking, out of breath, crying, in fear, and beggig for it to stop and for them not to do it again.  For a hour or more I cant fall back to sleep because i am so panicked and upset and when i do fall back to seep again it happens all over in about 20 minutes to a half hour.  I don't really remember dreaming.  When I was in highschool I seen some bad things and stuff.  Then in my life I have had to deal with a lot of problems and drama and just all the bad that comes from addiction in the ones you love.  I have not had a spell like this in years and am now and I need to know how to pull out of this.  Please help me find a way out of this pattern.

[persephonedemeter]

I'm sorry to hear your father had severe PTSD after serving in Vietnam. I had a feeling from your post that you sort of knew that it was PTSD since you described it so "classically."  I don't know if you kept up with research on the way it is treated now, but it has come a long way from when your Dad went through it. for the most part, people weren't treated adequately or at all, back then.

Even when I first started getting treatment, it wasn't well understood and even though, talk therapy helped, it didn't stop the pattern. I think you know it requires more than better coping skills and knowing what caused it. As always, I wished I had the  treatment, support and knowledge that I have now back in the 70's or 80's when it started happening to me. The treatments for PTSD are still an ongoing work in process just like most things.

There is a PTSD forum on Medhelp that may be helpful. If you wish, I can share some information privately on the message center on your medhelp page. I rarely have reoccurences nowadays, since I really worked on it for a couple of years, and although, I experienced the "nightmare" a couple of times last year, it was not as powerful and sifnificantly "disarmed" where I can just say, "Oh, that again. Hey, it's not affecting me much." and I can go back to sleep and make good decisions. I also like the fact that it is a rare occurence these days, and doesn't happen as much even when I have ro deal with very stressful situations, I am also mostly in the "zen" zone, and can weather things without really having it get to me and still present and effective. It's a nice feeling.Working on it was not easy and downright uncomfortable with anxiety on my part, but it was worth it, and it's in the past.

I wish you well. Just remember, it's not a sign of weakness, although sometimes, it feels that way. I an a strong person considering all I had to go through.  It sounds like you went through some tough situations yourself over the years. It speaks alot about you that you suspected, reconized and want to help yourself overcome this and ask for help. I think you know there are a kot of people who get lost in it.

[affraid_to_sleep]

I have had a feeling for a long time it was PTSD my dad is a Vietnam era Veteran and has severe PTSD but I always thought it was just in my head.  Some days it can ruin my mood the whole day and others not.  Now that you mentioned something happening that might set it off I have a feeling of what it is.  I guess its not just me and maybe I should go in and get some kind of help.  Thanks so much for your help

[persephonedemeter]

Sorry, I have to correct something. There are therapists who think they can just have you talk about it and it will lessen or go away. You can't just talk your way out of it, and anti-anxiety meds are more like bandaids.

if this resonates with you and you find some relief having a name to it, it is probably safe for you to go back to sleep, because you are in a "better space" if you find yourself in an uplift mood and comfortable enough that you are no longer in a panic. Take a moment to remind your self that you are at home, safe, and realize that you are able to be safe and whatever it was that panicked you, isn't happening presently. This is what works for me when I'm desperately  needing  some sleeptime or, at least rest. It's a start, not a remedy.

[persephonedemeter]

From what you are describing, It sounds a lot like Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). I have that diagnosis, and what you are describing is exactly what I go through. Something must have triggered it, Sometimes, it happens during an anniversary period, but most of the time, it happens when some circumstance really bothered or reminded you, and later, when you sleep, it comes out in very vivid dreams that seem so real about something you went through that was very traumatic, and yoou basically "re-live" the fear and anxiety, That's just saying it simply.

When  I first experienced it and it was untreated or unrecognized as PTSD, I would wake up in a cold sweat, panic, and Even though I was awake, it felt like it was still going on and it took me awhile to realize that my nightmare was "just a nightmare" and that it isn't what is really going on at present. It used to set the tone of my day and caused me anxiety and depression, and I really had to swim through and struggle  it to make good decisions. Most of the time, I chose not to make any decisions right after I had a night like that. I was afraid to go back to sleep and have it re-occur, because it can do that.

Talk therapy helps,and reconizing it, but it is really just the first step. It was a releif that it had a name, Unfortunately, unless you go to someone who knows how to really treat it, it can be a part of your life and affect you for a really long time. There are a lot of mental health practitioners who think they know how to treat it other than just "talk you out of it."  That is a temporary fix or what I call, a "patch." Anti-anxiety drugs like valium, ativan, and klonopin  and sleep aids can help sometimes, and get you sleeping again, but it doesn't help during the nightmares, because it doesn't affect the epinephrine rush that you get when you start reacting to your dream. Is it a dream that seems to have the same "flavor?"

Does ithe dream feel unfinished, like you work up before the really dreadful part or frustrated part started to happen? Does it feel like it was so real and it didn't really leave you and, besides, feeling the effects of no sleep, does it affect you theoughout the day, and you can't really shake it off?