I would encourage you to start a new thread, as this one is very old, and the older threads tend to get passed up by most. .
thanks, this explanation was so helpful
I have been on meds and therapy since 2002. Therapy helps with coping skills and general support but it isn't a cure any more than the meds are a cure. Antidepressants may be hard to get off, but they are NOT addictive. To be addictive, it would mean that you had to take more and more to get the same effect. Not addictive. However, you have changed brain chemistry so it is no surprise that when you remove the chemicals it is a shock to your brain and you have negative responses.
There is a very good book on grief by Kay Redfield Jamison, called Nothing Was the Same.
One thing to be aware of is that with each episode of depression you have, your chance of having another episode increases. Since you have had several episodes it is almost a given that you will have more episodes.
Were you getting your lithium level check more frequently in the beginning than every 6 months? When I was on it with every increase and on a schedule I had blood levels checked to make sure that I was in the therapeutic range without becoming toxic. As far as blood tests every six months, I have my glucose and cholesterol checked every six months.