School absenteeism issue

[DianePOD]

My son is age 17 and diagnosed with Type 1 diabetes at age 11.  He has many hyperglycemic episodes and has missed excessive amounts of class time.  Our high school limit for absences if 18.  He has well over this amount.  The school is wanting to deny him credit for classes because of the absenteeism.  I don't think this is fair because of the high blood sugars.  Unfortunately I do not have a doctor's statement to support each occurence of the hyperglycemia.  I appreciate any suggestions you many have to help me confront this issue with his school.

[sto1313]

I am the mother of a 16 year old, about to be a senior, who was diagnosed in February. Her school has been incredibly helpful and I probably didn't need it, but we implemented a "504" plan, which protects her from absent and tardy issues, as well as allowing her to leave class when she has to... extra time for homework assignments if needed, extra time on tests if she's having sugar problems... a whole range of protection.

This is federal, not state, so it's something you should look into immediately.

http://www.chtu.org/504.html

Good Luck,

Barbara

[JDRF-Team-LRS]

Diane,
You're facing a tough situation, indeed, and it seems as tho' your son can benefit from more rigorous management of his diabetes.  His control is poor if his blood sugar is so high -- so often as to miss more than 18 days of school in a year because of it.

I dev'd diabetes as a teen (about 35 years ago now) before the days of home glucose monitoring, a1c tests, or intensive diabetes management.  I can't remember missing school or work because of high blood sugar.  I do remember having to take occasional "time outs" to treat a low blood sugar, but each such interruption is measured in minutes ...

As an adult now, I understand how difficult it is for teens to feel and BE so different from what they perceive are "carefree" other teens.  I'd encourage you to consider counseling -- family counseling is often helpfful since diabetes affects not just the diabetic, but also our siblings and parents -- with your son.  A family couselor who has experience working with teens with chronic diseases would seem ideal.

Emotions play a huge role in our abilities to accept our disease and to manage it well.  A dx of diabetes is NOT a sentence to ill health in most cases.  A dx of diabetes does, however require us to take on personal responsibility sooner rather than later.  Resisting "control" is not uncommon among teens (they think it's their job ;-)  ) and yet learning to take control is key to their long term success, with or without diabetes.

I can imagine how frustrated you are and perhaps your son is, too.  Reading a LOT into what you've written, I wonder if he has begun to manipulate the adults in his life with this illness and the sooner you (plural) can reach the emotional core of his fear, anger, frustration, disappointment, jealousy, resentment, and exhaustion -- well, the sooner you will have your son back.  My niece has been doing similar things, and at age 20, the family is still trying to "reach" her.  The problem is not her diabetes; it's her emotional adjustment (or rather, the lack thereof).  

While I'm sure it's tempting to want to "fix" the problem with his not getting school credit, I think that that issue is minor compared to reaching your son's emotional engine and helping him to begin to heal himself.  Until that happens, you may find yourselves faced with this type of escalating problem for a long time.  At the same time as you consider reaching out nurture his pain & fears, it may be time to evaluate your medical care teams, as well.  Is he being followed by an endocrinologist or a diabetologist?  Both specialize in the care of folks with diseases like DM.  Does he have a diabetes educator to help work out daily details like having foods he likes, planning for and ENJOYING safe social times, etc?

Diane, I realize you asked for help with working with the school and my answer has addressed little in that regard.  My sense is that your son has missed enough of school work to have *earned* no credit -- and that's a bitter pill to swallow, indeed.  Might that bitter pill help him to face what he ultimately must face?  With your support, he can do much much better - tho' it may take months or years for him to adjust.  In the school, it may be helpful for you to meet with the nurse and with the principal & guidance couselor to explain the situation.  I'm nearly certain they've all worked with diabetic students before -- tho' perhaps the ones they've worked with before had already come to terms with managing it.

I hope that others will chime in here, too.  Several folks are teens/young adults and several are the parents.  If you'd like to have 1:1 support, which can be much more personal that what we can do here, remember to visit www.jdrf.org and click on the Online Diabetes Support Team.  Finally, while I consider myself fairly knowledgable about diabetes issues, I'm not a physician, so please talk honestly with your doc (or new doc) about your son's situation ... and talk with your son, too.  He might just believe taht feeling lousy (and high blood sugar feels VERY lousy!) is what he should expect.  The truth is, he should expect to feel pretty terrific most of the time -- well-controlled blood sugar and normal emotional health provide that result.

Good luck, Diane.  I hope that my directness has not offended you -- that's not my intent.  I'm hoping to show you that things can be different .. and decidedly better ... if you, your son and all those on his team can face the demons that're getting in the way.  GOod luck and please do check back & let us know how things're going.  You're not alone.