Brother in diabetic rage and downward spiral - need advice

[ConcernedinFL2009]

My brother is 26 and was diagnosed with Type 1 diabetes about 5 years ago.  For a while he was "responsible" with his diabetes but has now started in a destructive downward spiral.  He eats whatever he wants and then thinks he can just do his insulin injection to take care of himself.  But the result is he has red eyes, acts "drunk" although he is not, goes into rages and violent mood swings, and has lost weight.  This is only what we can observe.  I don't know what other physical symptoms he has other than bad mouth pain??  

If we try and talk to him and even mention the words "diabetes" or "sugar" he completely freaks out and goes into another rage.  He refuses to talk with family members about his problems with this or how he feels and he refuses to see a counselor.  

Does anyone have any ideas on what to do?  Books to give him or something like that -- I don't know what to do??  We are VERY concerned.  Thanks.

[ConcernedinFL2009]

Hey, thank you so much for your post.  This is really interesting to hear you explain this all.  I am sorry I have not checked this in a while.  We are still worried about my brother.  It has gotten a bit better but not really.  He still is drinking a lot of beer and partying and not doing his injections right.  He mentioned something about not being able to see so well recently, which makes me really scared because I know diabetes can affect his sight.  We will see what we can do to help him.  But thanks for explaining this to me -- how you feel and all -- he would never open up and tell us that.  Its really helpful.

[jasper07]

Hi! Boy you hit everything right on the head. I've been t-1 for 49 years and still go through all that you mentioned. Not all the time though.  I am married and he sure does not understand. All he knows is that I have to take insulin and eat and that's it. I do realize that it is hard for a non-diabetic to fully understand. But....there a lots of little things that can be understood. When I have had a  high sugar, I do get crabby and he thinks I am just picking on him. So over and over, I have to re-explain it all to him. I do get bored with the daily routine and have always wished I didn't have to take insulin. It's my way of life and I have come to terms about 90% of it. The other 10% I get frustrated.

[Rainbow_Veins]

I understand that seeing your brother like that is rather heartbreaking and I understand your family would like to help and everything but you gotta understand how he's feeling to begin with. I'm no doctor or anything so it's not like I can give you the exact advice you'd need to help him and make things better. But I dunno I've been a diabetic since I was 1 and i'd say i'm pretty much like your brother when it comes down to being a bad diabetic. I haven't always been bad, and I can do a good job.. but it only last for so long until i get all discouraged again and give up.

Sometimes you just feel like ****.. you get tired of feeling like you're not normal and you get tired of knowing that you gotta do things that other people don't have to do.. all you want to do is do whatever, whenever you want just like everyone else. I know doing that isn't very rational it's rather stupid but it's frustrating to know that you have limits and being stubborn doesn't help. Most of those symptoms sound like low bloods sugars to me. He's too low to think like a normal person.. which is why he acts drunk or gets so violent and has moods swings. I always get the drunk feeling and the bad *** mood swings.. you go from happy to pissed off about nothing or by the tiniest thing in the world.. you feel stupid and you act stupid, you feel like your angry with the world and yourself.

But I should tell you to watch out for him and when he takes his insulin.. I use to take my afternoon insulin at the wrong time but the right dose and I use to wake up in the morning so low that I wasn't able to move a muscle. I'd lay on my bed with my eyes open wide and my jaw shut so tight that the only way to open it up to get me into having some honey or sugar would be by using a spoon or fork or something. I wouldn't be able to control any body function or anything and when I regained consiousness I wouldn't remember a thing that happened that morning.  

I know that my family worries about me like crazy and whenever they bring stuff up it gets me upset because I know that all they want is my best interest, but at the same time it's a matter of them not understand what it's like. They think it's a piece of cake and that any idiot can take care of themselvs.. and maybe they can.. but it's not a matter of being able to or not.. it's more wanting to.. it's more about being motivated to actually do so and most of the time there really isn't any motivation. Your brother probably misses not having diabetes. While i'm wondering what it's like not to have it.. you kinda get the feeling that things would be a helluva lot easier for you if it wasn't there. I know there are people who have a lot of worse things.. but again you don't have other things so it's hard to relate to those people.. yeah you feel bad for them but you can only relate to some extent.

I think what would help the most is I dunno to meet other diabetics to be honest. If he met other diabetics some who were doing a ****** job at taking care of themselves and if he met a few who were doing a good job and maybe became friends with them and if he became able to open up and talk to them about how he was feeling that might help. It's easier to relate to a person then a book.. I hate being reminded by my mom because it seems like a hassle when she tells me, like she reminds me because she dosn't trust me or because she wants to tell me to improve myself but instead of it feeling like advice and whatever it feels like a lecture and her trying to make me feel bad.. mind you i wouldn't even trust myself and i don't and her bringing it up makes me more frustrated and angry.Anyways if someone else who had it talks to you about it then it's like yeah I understand what it feels like, but you just gotta try your best and not let things get you down or whatever.