Kidney mass and denial

[boomtaco]

My 43 year old brother is a diabetic, he has high blood pressure, heart disease, in stage 3 or 4 kidney failure, and was told a month ago after a stay at the hospital that he had a large mass on his left kidney.  He refuses to have any more tests done, and checked himself out of the hospital against Dr. orders.  He says he is worn out from fighting, and that he is ready to die.  Can someone please tell me how much time he may have?  He has recently been back to the ER after throwing up blood again... I know things are not good, I just desperately need to know what is ahead of us.  I am the ONLY person he has to count on and be there for him, and I don't know the truth to his health.. he keeps all information secret from me.  Thank you.

[Super_sally888]

Hi,

the highs and lows are going to be devastating for his mental and physical health.

There are ways of managing diabetes that can dramatically lessen these swings.  He would need to be motivated though.  If you are close to him, maybe you can also learn about it.

Most particularly this involves following a low carb diet (carbs mostly coming from non-starchy veges), moderate protein (likely < 100 g/day) and high naturally occuring fats.  If he does lower his carb intake then he would also need to test carefully and reduce his insulin.

To control blood sugars, I assume he is taking 2 types of insulin. Fast and short acting.  He should do some testing to make sure that his insulin doses are correct.

Some reference books are:-

Diabetes Solutions by Dr. Richard Bernstein (this one recommends very low carb but gives excellent info and tools for management),
Think Like a Pancreas by Gary Scheiner
Using Insulin by John Walsh

I guess the best thing you can do is to learn as much as you can about diabetes.  Support him as best you can, and love him! (as you obviously do).

[diabetes86]

With BG (blood sugars) that high the outlook is not good.
I dont know the short term issues with BG that high other than passing out/coma.  As far as long term complications there not nice

He is having low BG?  from taking some meds?

will he listen if you talk about a new way to control his diabetes?  Not a pie in the sky but real help with BG numbers.
Manny people get frustrated with taking care of there diabetes,
they do as the MD says and they still have high BG.  The reason is because the medical community gives bad advice on diet.  They say to eat way too many carbohydrates.  We do know that carbs (carbohydrates) raise BG,  ALL carbs.  Many of us CANT control our diabetes eating the recommended carbs..  I and MANY diabetics eat under 100 gr of carbs a day
ALL carbs raise BG  past,bread,potato,rice  all have significant carbs and will raise his BG very high.

Your in a tuff spot I hope he will talk and get abetter handle on his BG

[boomtaco]

Thank you.

[boomtaco]

  Thank you for your words.  His blood sugars are out of control, he has severe lows daily... in the 30's or lower some days.  His highs are equally disturbing... his glucose monitor reads HI most morning.. which means it can't even register how high he his.  He will not give Dr.'s permission to talk with me, and being his sister, so far no Dr. has told me what is truly going on other than finding the " disturbing lass mass on his left kidney".  I just want to know what lies ahead, and what I should be looking for.
  I appreciate any feedback, I feel paralyzed in this.

[diabetes86]

I am sorry your brother is making life tuff for BOTH of you.  I would was devastated when my sister took ill. but at least she tried.


All I can say is sit down with your brother and talk.

sory

[Super_sally888]

Hello,

I can hear from your email how worried you are about your brother.
Yes, things don't look good with the kidney mass and the stage of kidney disease.   I cannot say how long he has - can you talk to his doctors for some more information.

Is he able to have good control of his blood sugars?  What meds does he take?  

I can just commend you for being there for him.

So sorry you are going through this.