Hello,
you are not bad! You just don't have good control of your diabetes.
It is possible to have a child, but you will need to take control and responsibility for your diabetes.
A low carb diet, learning how to properly use insulin to control blood sugar, exercise all help. Please ask your doctor to refer you to a diabetes educator.
There are some excellent books you could refer to;
Using Insulin,
Think Like a Pancreas
Diabetes Solutions
All will teach you the skills you need to control this and to stay healthy.
Better control and management of your diabetes is a must requirement before getting pregnant. High blood sugar levels early in the pregnancy [before 13 weeks] can cause birth defects or other serious health issues to the baby. They also can increase the risks of miscarriage and diabetes related complications. You should speak with your health care provider on what you need to do to get your blood sugar levels down as close to normal levels as possible. You also can educate yourself on diabetes control and management by going here http://www.diabetes.org/