marijuana conflict

[LovinLife]

I am wondering if anyone has experience with dating someone who smokes marijuana regularly?  Smoking marijuana is not unusual, but the conflict/problem I do not smoke marijuana and have no interest in doing so.  My boyfriend  smokes a lot, and has friends that smoke regularly, and I wonder how our lifestyles would fit together, with him smoking and me not smoking.  None of my friends smoke either, so there is a difference in the group of friends we have.  I  am a bit of a health "nut", so I don't see myself ever starting at all.   He doesn't seem to have any problems of anger or any ill effects from the smoking, so for him it works and he is happy.   He says he will phase out the smoking when I am around, but I am wondering if anyone else has had this issue in relationships?  At the moment, we aren't together as I made a big deal out of whether I would be happy with someone who smoked (and whose circles of friends smoke)..

Anyone?

[Transcendence]

In simple terms...you need to feel & be happy with the person you would like to share the same common interests. If mj is not your thing & it is a bit of a big deal for you when your bf smokes, you need to move on. It will only lead to resentment & cause for an unhealthy relationship. Take great courage & love yourself to find a healthy & enjoyable relationship that will bring about your happiness.

You wont kill him by saying to him, "I need to move on." Be honest with yourself in order to see yourself in a better place & with your ideal mate!

Lovelight & Blessings!

[ker539]

Oh man, My last relationship, My boyfriend smoked pot, I always thought it was ok and i didnt want to nag him b/c i didnt think smoking weed was that big of deal and i always hated the thought of being a naggy bitchy girlfriend. well this ultimately lead to him having other drugs he lied to me about, smoking weed has mad him depressed, lazy and very unmotivated and paranoid. Obviously not everyone is the same, but i feel where your coming from. it ultimately lead to him sending me back to my country then dumping me when i got home, now i just found out im pregnant. haha good luck!

[Gotmoxy]

I am a bit late reading this thread as you were, but something you stated struck me. I believe it went something like this:

"but the stats show that women, after they get married and especially after they have kids, do complete 180s on this issue (like they do on all kinds of other issues related to the personal freedom of their responsible, loving husbands)."

Personal freedom of their husbands? Maybe wives do a 180, because they realize the extra responsibility when it comes to raising children, and some men tend to think it's all "women's work", and try to carry on as if nothing has changed. Like, it wouldn't be appropriate to smoke grass while the children were around, would it? Or go out and do whatever the hell you wanted, whenever you wanted? Maybe your "stats" aren't showing these involving factors.

Look, I'm not trying to bust your balls here. Infact, I'm a smoker too. I enjoy it with a beer or two, when relaxing at night.:)  I just found that your statement above, was a little too gender biased. I'm not a feminist, just an equalist. :) My partner and I both work, do household chores, and take care of our kiddies. We also enjoy each other's company, which includes smoking together. We are happy and we both realize our responsibilities regarding our children, etc., etc.

Ok, just thought I'd through this out there. :)

[rme83]

I understand we all have our opinions and believes and yes at times "stoners" do seem very laid back and careless

HOWEVER

I am currently dating a 28yr old man who indeed smokes. I could say he smokes a blunt day and night. He had a child out of wedlock (nothing new nowadays) and I could honestly say he is very responsible! He treats his child and me with respect...he remembers dates/times/plans/stupid things i say LOL etc....

I am 27 and I had NEVER smoked until I met him. By far I have to say that smoking is not all bad. Just like some of us like beer and not wine or mixed drinks over beer same goes with weed. It's like I dont like cigarettes but I can smoke a joint every now and then :) I dont see how that would make someone a loser or a careless person.

If you met the guy smoking then where you thinking you were gonna' change him?

I met my boyfriend at a friends gathering all his friends smoke too by the way....My friends dont. It's something YOU as a person need to be comfortable with, Dont try to change him for what you want! Let people be who they choose to be. None of us are perfect and we all make mistakes. If you are not happy with him and his "addiction" then move on for your happiness and let him be happy too.

:-)

[rme83]

you seem upset :) smoke a joint and relax LOL

go into that happy place

[MM_McGee]

Hey, Trialanderror. My ex-wife hated my grass smoking and she couldn't meet a deadline, make a long term plan and follow through with it, remember a promise, show up in time, or balance a budget if our lives depended on it. .  . .  And, you know what, in a big sense they did depend on it. Any explanation for this you'd like to offer, since you seem to know that smoking grass is the cause of all loser behavior?