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marijuana conflict
I am wondering if anyone has experience with dating someone who smokes marijuana regularly? Smoking marijuana is not unusual, but the conflict/problem I do not smoke marijuana and have no interest in doing so. My boyfriend smokes a lot, and has friends that smoke regularly, and I wonder how our lifestyles would fit together, with him smoking and me not smoking. None of my friends smoke either, so there is a difference in the group of friends we have. I am a bit of a health "nut", so I don't see myself ever starting at all. He doesn't seem to have any problems of anger or any ill effects from the smoking, so for him it works and he is happy. He says he will phase out the smoking when I am around, but I am wondering if anyone else has had this issue in relationships? At the moment, we aren't together as I made a big deal out of whether I would be happy with someone who smoked (and whose circles of friends smoke)..
Anyone?
Anyone?
Thank you for all the input it is helpful---I don't know where things will end, at the moment, the 'ball is in his court' as I told him our lifestyles were too different to be together. Unfortunately, I told him, didn't ask him what he thought, so now I am not sure how he feels and if he will even communicate.....its been a few days since I called and apologized, not for what I said, but how I came across, etc....
Livin Life
Livin Life
Don't apologize for standing up for yourself. If he loves you he will see through the "how" you came across to your concern and well-being. Keep strong to what is going to serve you, spiritually and emotionally. That's what I didn't learn quickly enough. I excused his actions and truly became part of the problem.
I used to smoke, met a smoker, lived together got married. Then I fell pregnant and stopped smoking and he carried on. He also used to play on his computer for hours on end. He was a great dad, but as the years went by I stopped being interesting to him and all he did with his evenings after the kids went to bed was smoke and play on his computers. I got fed up, felt neglected and lost self confidence. I told him I didnt want to be with him anymore and he didnt seem to care. It didnt make him stop. After years of smoking he began to develop paranoid delusions and would get angry very easily. I filed for divorce and got the hell out of there. He has remarried and is doing the same thing all over again. My ex is psychologically addicted to pot, has been from the age of 16. He won't ever give it up as its the only thing he's ever known. He's 40 now.
Wow, we have a lot in common experience-wise. Was your ex a grower as well? Mine did. I begged him to stop and he fell back on something he said when we were both drunk... he was like, "I'll never stop, so never ask me to," and I guess at the time I didn't think I would! I did... didn't go over so well. Ha!
Lesson learned...
Lesson learned...
most of the posts are correct.
I ve lived with my parents and
my mother does not and my dad does.
it will be an endless battle unless each of you are very independent
and mind your own lifestyle it has alot to do with each personality
opposited do attract ussually.But not forever sometimes.
And not always.
Personally i wouldnt even go there,dont take the risk
It may be extremly hard to brake up or to seperate untill he aggress to stop.
But its Alright because you have to do whats best for you.
The heart is an trecherous thing.(cant spell!)
In other words:
Only you can save your heart,you cant tell someone how to love,or how not too.
IT always has to learn on your own. <3
And most of us will admit and aggree to that.
ME being young i have really aggred and accepted that as a apart of life.
glad to help be safe,live and let live
<3
I ve lived with my parents and
my mother does not and my dad does.
it will be an endless battle unless each of you are very independent
and mind your own lifestyle it has alot to do with each personality
opposited do attract ussually.But not forever sometimes.
And not always.
Personally i wouldnt even go there,dont take the risk
It may be extremly hard to brake up or to seperate untill he aggress to stop.
But its Alright because you have to do whats best for you.
The heart is an trecherous thing.(cant spell!)
In other words:
Only you can save your heart,you cant tell someone how to love,or how not too.
IT always has to learn on your own. <3
And most of us will admit and aggree to that.
ME being young i have really aggred and accepted that as a apart of life.
glad to help be safe,live and let live
<3
yep, mine used to grow stuff too. Our bedroom was all low lights, soil and green leaves. very unpleasant, but for some reason, i stuck with him. I must have had very low self esteem and confidence. To be honest, he did have some control over me, like put up with this or get the hell out, or this is the way you met me... etc
We live and learn...
We live and learn...
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