I wouldn't put anything into his ear without talking to a vet first. If you can't get him to the vet, then maybe your vet will prescribe something based on your description, or recommend something over the counter you can use. It doesn't hurt to give the vet a call and see what they can suggest over the phone. Hope you get some good advice and that your pup feels better soon!
Tough luck that he's had bad vet experiences, but most dogs resist going through that door. That ear sounds badly infected, so you have no choice, and neither does your dog. No excuses: get him to a vet or you may well lose him leaving this problem untreated. Is there any possibility of finding a vet to make a house call in your area?