That is so painful. I'm just sorry. I have lost a best loved fur friend too and know that it is like grieving of any kid. Deep, painful. And this is like grieving someone who you live with day in ad day out. Sweet innocent love is how I describe the love for and from our sweet dogs. We don't know what we don't know. Something did not respond well with her. And you provided the surgery to help her. You have to remember that. The vet probably didn't do anything wrong and it was a set of circumstances, perfect storm circumstances that led to this. But it hurts. So bad. I lost a dog tragically several years ago. It was a shock. This is a shock for you. I got the ashes for my dog and they were in a pretty earn and I got a picture of her in a frame and we hung it. Do you live with anyone who can clean up her things from the house? I did it myself but that's hard. I bagged them up and put them in the attic. Now, everyone is different. Don't think I'm callous for this but this is me. I love animals and especially dogs. Within three weeks of our tragedy, I had gotten another puppy. Because when looking at a little fur ball, it's hard to be sad. And I missed the connection of my pet. The dog I have today is wonderful too. My sister has to take some time before she can do that. So, everyone is different. I felt comforted by simply looking at puppies knowing I'd love a dog again soon and have comfort back like I knew with our dog that passed. They are ALL very special and not replaceable but my heart healed a little faster with a new friend coming into our home.
You do something nice for yourself today, okay. Sending you virtual hugs
I'm so sorry to hear your story. In a lot of ways, our pets are our lives, especially when you have a good one who has your heart. My stepmom's dog who was also her life companion went in for a tooth cleaning, and like yours, came home groggy but apparently OK, and then never quite came out of the grogginess and died within two days. Maybe sometimes this is a reaction to anesthesia (a rare one) or maybe the two weren't related, it's just so hard to know. What I do know was that my stepmom blamed herself for a long time, since the tooth cleaning was more of a "nice to do" than a "have to do." I understand that you had a stronger reason to do the surgery than that, and you had your dog checked to make sure there were no apparent risks, so at least you won't have to torture yourself feeling like my stepmom did. I do think we all go when it's our time, and for some reason we can't discern, sometimes it's time for someone we love even when we ourselves aren't ready for it. Here is hoping that you can get through this day by day. Your dog had a great life. Please try to be easy on yourself as you grieve.