We are having our beloved dog put down tomorrow.

[em722]

Just venting. We are having the vet come out tomorrow to put our Buddy to sleep. I've talked about Buddy on this forum and am so sad to be typing this now. I made the decision 3:00 this morning when he just could not settle. He struggles to get on his feet, circles, lies down, whines, struggles to get up, etc. I was on the floor with him and having me there didn't even provide comfort. I have been feeling for a couple of weeks that it was time, but couldn't get my husband to talk about it. He says we are killing our friend and thinks it is just wrong. He doesn't believe he is suffering and points out any sign that Buddy is doing well. He comes up with explanations for all of Buddy's symptoms and is now denying that Buddy has Cushings even though the vet told us she was quite certain. I don't want to wait till he can't walk and it becomes an emergency situation. He is almost blind, deaf, pants excessively, is feeble, has defecated in the house (never before), doesn't want to be groomed-(used to love it). My heart is breaking.. Buddy is at least 14 1/2 and a wheaten terrier mix. He has lived a long, loved, life. I can't stand to see him continure to suffer. This is so hard.
Thank you for reading and understanding my grief.

[lindapalm]

It is so terribly sad to think that she kicked butt through all her surgeries and came back strong, and then developed something else.  She was a very tough dog, I am so sorry that happened.  I'm sure her garden will flourish with your care, and I know you'll get a lot of comfort from it.

[ginger899]

Oh I am really glad to hear that Misty and I managed to help you and your dog in a really practical way. That's good.
No her kidney values were back to normal! The vet was pleased (so was I) We nipped that in the bud......
She had a lump removal (breast) it turned out to be partly malignant. Misty bounced straight back from that surgery within days.
A few weeks later the vet removed her lower mammary glands to be on the safe side. No recurrence. He thoroughly examined her and she went for follow-ups, and it had gone! No recurrence of breast (mammary) cancer either!!
She bounced straight back from that surgery too....and that was pretty major.
She was fit and well, amazing, almost supernatural for a dog her age!
We took a train trip end of April, and a very young child fell on top of he. Misty didn't yelp, and didn't seem injured at all. But 5 days later -literally overnight- a half-plum-sized smooth rounded lump came up on her ribs. It was tender.  I took her to the vet, and we both thought it was a bruised rib. Or even possibly a cracked rib. He X rayed her and did a needle biopsy on the lump too. He didn't like what he found, said it seemed like a hemangiosarcoma. I thought he had to be kidding!
,May 23rd she suddenly suffered an internal bleed. He suspected she had them on the spleen too. She recovered from the bleed ok. He did an ultrasound which showed clearly she had hemangiosarcoma tumors on spleen and liver. He said she could have months to live.
I didn't think so.
Ony 6 days later she suddenly had another bleed, but instead of being a "slow bleed" like the last one, it was a major hemorrage. She was dying and there was no cure, She was bleeding to death. She was put to sleep about 7.30 Tuesday morning (5th June)

[lindapalm]

I did not know Misty was so sick, I am so sorry she is gone.  The last time I read one of your posts,it was about her having kidney problems. After reading your post I paid extra care in watching our dog go outside that night, as she is pretty old.  I was shocked to see her having problems peeing, and ended up taking her to the vet the next day.  She ended up having a lot of blood in her urine and having a UTI.  I was very grateful that you posted that day., or I might not have paid attention to her and noticed her problem.  Did Misty continue to get worse and you found other things wrong?

[ginger899]

yes my relief and grief trade off too. I wouldn't have minded giving it a bit of struggle -for her or for me- and she was incredibly tough, and would have ridden things out, I knew her......if there had been hope, but there was none, not with terminal hemangiosarcoma. It was like wildfire in her. 3 or 4 weeks ago...no sign anything was wrong with her at all! Then suddenly she was overwhelmed.

But when you see them lying there, (Buddy and Misty, the same though they had different things wrong with them) -something overwhelming them, whatever it might be, that no-one can fix with the best will in the world....then it's time to call it. I don't have an ounce of guilt or regret about any of the treatments or surgery she got this year -she bounced right back. And no regrets about the final decision -she needed to die. When there was no other option. But it hurts....oh God it hurts. A house so hollow and empty where it was filled with life and DOG....now just me. It's hard.
I have not yet been able to move her water-bowl, or her bed.
I lay my head on that bed and talk to her like I did in those final hours through the night, when I whispered to her and stroked her head and reassured her.
The grave feels like a very nice sacred place where I can make a garden. I got in the grave with her and lay down and hugged her for ages because I wanted to smell her fur and her ears as long as I could. It was sad to have to be brave and start to put earth on top of her lovely body. I said "This is a really big mole-hole (she loved digging for moles) and this one's big enough to make a good den. Sleep well my girl in the good den I've made for you." So that memory stays. It is a good one.
She always did like holes in the ground, and in trees where foxes or some creatures had made dens.
But I agree with crystallady, it would be nice if you could find a watertight urn or something to put Buddy's ashes in, because they will slowly disappear if you use them as rose food.

[crystallady16]

we made dedes bed into flower bed like this. Dede bed was a plastic dog we drilled holes in the bottom for draniage. We then filled it with compost. We have put a dog rose in the centre. Then we have planted it out with small bedding plants. We then got some really nice rocks and put them round the sides All round the bed is her toys rubber balls rings rubber chew toys. This is dede's special place . Very peacefull and a sarced place. Even the animals I have respect it and I have learnt them that they are not allowed on it or near it. I was just thinking why not put buddys ashes into a nice urn have a nice brass plauge on it and put that in the rose bed near your daughter. At least then you have a premnant mermorail to buddy. Then his remains are safe and you have them for ever. You then may find it easier to go and talk to him you can talk to his urn. I think that would a nicer way to remember him.
god bless and please send me a pm if you need to I am here for you at this sad time
hugs and lots of love  Alicaxxx

[em722]

We had very similar ups and downs-with some signs of vitality in Buddy, then very apparent signs of his decline. I can only now realize the toll it took in being his primary caretaker. My grief and relief trade off, or are felt simultaneously.
Your description of the loving way you put Misty in the earth just has that nurturing feeling; so respectful, caring, and gentle. And the pink rose just melts my heart!
I wish we actually had Buddy's body rather than ashes, but my husband couldn't handle burying him emotionally and I couldn't handle it physically. There is something important about the tender closing in of earth around them. Seems more natural, heartbreaking, but natural.  I've mentioned that I want to put his ashes close to my daughter's rose, but I need to figure out how I can do it so that it doesn't just feel like I'm putting 'rose food' on the garden.
Thinking of you,
Em