Loud Noises when I swallow that don't sound nornal

[Nobody456]

Hi, I am having real trouble with my partner's loud swallowing noises. It does not only happen VERY loudly when he is drinking (specially) but even with his own saliva and I sometimes get really frustrated. Basically we need to have the radio or TV on when we eat so I don't hear him. It is getting annoying and I was wondering if it is related to something else and if it can be remedied. PLEASE HELP!! :(

[EimiKrypht]

I have always had decent table manners. About 3 years ago my family started to comment on my loud swallowing, even though (as far as I could tell) it was just the same as how I'd always done it. I have a relatively small volume of mouth capacity, with a narrow space between my teeth and a high-arched palate. I also have very large tonsils.

I am no expert on the art of swallowing, but I assume that the internal structure of one's mouth and upper throat has a huge effect on the acoustics involved. Keeping in mind that the head is essentially a gigantic resonating chamber, as any classically trained singer will attest to, there will always be a connection between the internal bone structure of one's head and how loudly they swallow.

For those of us who are sure about our swallowing being blatant rudeness, let me say this: I've tried every single possible permutation and combination of tongue shape, head angle and throat tension I could think of that wouldn't result in me drowning, and I still haven't figured out how to swallow quietly. What I have found is that I'm slightly quieter when I'm more sufficiently hydrated.

For those of us who, like me, swallow loudly and are insecure about it, remember that it sounds louder to you than it does to someone else! It's your head that the sound is buzzing through, so the vibrations travelling through your bones will reach your ears more efficiently than through the air around you. If you can achieve what sounds like 'relatively' quiet swallowing to what you're used to hearing from yourself, then you've managed to reduce your external volume by a lot.

Drink a lot of water to keep your throat moist, so that your body is less likely to register a gulping action when you drink something (which it will do if it thinks it won't get liquid again for a long time). Try to use your tongue to contain the liquid between either side of your teeth, so that it doesn't squelch past the back of your molars when you swallow. After swallowing, relax and open your throat slowly, instead of snapping it open to be able to breathe again. But more importantly than anything else: if it hurts, it's wrong! Avoid doing anything when you swallow that makes your throat ache. If you damage something used for swallowing, it gets very easy to get an infection.

[Mandy1967]

I just found this because I looked up loud swallowing because I am fed up with my husband looking disgusted making a face or leaving the room whenever I have a drink. He has even said it annoys him. I found that most upsetting. To all who said its bad manners or laziness it is not the person cannot help it and your attitude to it is upsetting to them. How would you like it if every time you wanted to eat or drink you felt someone was glaring at you it is becoming very upsetting. I even go thirsty rather than drink in front of him would you like your relative to do that? I am glad there appears to be some cause now off to my doctor when can get an appointment!

[NobadyPersonal]

I seem to be doing the exact same thing but it is so not due to laziness or lack of etiquette! I think that it is a physical thing, besides everybody is different you must have something annoying about you, and it isn't like he does it on purpose.

[christoph1]

I am 27yr male .I have the same gulp sound even with saliva and frustrates others . I feel ashamed of myself.

If there is a professional guy reading , please assist.

Thanks in advance.

[mrminnow]

im sad i have to deal with this 4ever

[Love_Is_Real]

You, my friend, are being quite unreasonable I believe. I swallow loudly and I have been trying to stop and it's not something that comes easily especially when there's people like you that post unhelpful comments on otherwise helpful threads. I detest your reference to the analogy of feet on the table. It isn't like that at all. Besides the fact that people shouldn't actually be drinking during a meal I don't believe that your 'analogy' was correct. I have been raised to be polite during meals. I don't put my elbows on the table and I certainly don't put my feet on there :P However people have commented on my loud drinking and my heavy breathing. It's not something I can just be like 'Oh hey, maybe I should stop' and I stop. If you had it then you would understand but you don't sooo :)

[ScottT500]

To Love is Real> You are conscientious and considerate. The analogy had a different intent. That is, most folks are not annoyed by eating noises, but a minority is. It's difficult for many to grasp why this is annoying, and often they dismiss as the fault of those who are being annoyed, as though it's their own hearing sensitivity problem.
Thus to find some kind of more general equivalence so others can understand more completely, smelly feet annoy just about everyone, except for the person with the smelly feet. (I don't know why.)
That being said, the person with the smelly feet puts his feet on the dinner table and is not bothered at all by the smell. Then when others complain, he says the others must have smell sensitivity problems, as though it's their problem, since he himself is not bothered by his own smelly feet. He can't grasp how his actions might affect others.
Obviously everybody sees the absurdity of this individual's viewpoint, since smelly feet are universally accepted as disgusting, whereas when it comes to eating noises, those who are truly annoyed are a minority.  And it is difficult for others to grasp this. The most often cited response I hear is that those who are annoyed should learn to live with their "hearing sensitivity issues."
I am sure you can think of other analogies besides smelly feet, it;s just that this example can be more readily understood by society at large as I see it.

[DaveHossen]

My Dad used to do it. Far easier to tell you father than a partner - he was doing as the daughter of the person above said - incredibly deliberate, over-thought and amazingly loud GULP action. I am very sensitive to such things, quite manic and tend to be annoyed, so I can add to the conversation in one respect: only a few people do this, I know because I notice ALL of them, and from the perspective of someone who has had to deal with it, it's not elitism, it's not some kind of smug poshness - thinking the other rude - it is genuinely like torture to listen to. Obviously its stupid psychological effect and I wish I could stop being so annoyed by it, but I really can't and it's like you are being violated when you listen to it. A colleague who sits near a chap who makes the same noise and who also happens to gulp A LOT due to some kind of wierd prediliciton to drink 4 or 5 litres of water every day, my colleague is driven mad by it. Sometimes I'll hear a gulp come accross the office and it sends a shiver down my spine but then the colleague who cant cope with it appears and leaves - he actually has to leave the office its so aweful. At least I'm not alone.

I have various theories about why it is so annoying, none really on what causes it, appart from perhaps a lack of coordination or in the case of my father just a crazy over-thinking that he managed to get over (aged 55!) and stop doing it. It might be an overly tied-tongue that can cause snoring and things or perhaps an odly over/under sealing soft pallet. As for the annoyance-causing, apologies in advance to any dislikers of evolution, but I think it might be an evolved repulsion to members of a tribe/group which demonstrate illness / weakness. You know how everyone is almost driven to bully / drive our weak members of a peer group, how young people and stupid people succumb to that drive and become overt bullies? I think that as an adult that compulsion can be presented as a raging annoyance and when someone does something annoying it might be that we are discerning some weakness - certainly an uncoordinated swallow action must surely be considered a physiological weakness, or perhaps we are programmed to recognize it as a sure sign of someone uncoordinated, and hence we are repulsed by it. Just a (probably rubbish) theory, but that's how it feels - the repulsion and annoyance 'feels' programmed its such a strong drive.

Another example: my bosses son has had a cold seemingly his whole life, he is 6 and still cant breath through his nose, and so he eats amazingly loudly with an open mouth - said boss cannot actually eat at the table with is son, he tries almost every day to get over it and eat with him, but he just cannot do it so repulsive is the noise.

I wonder if that might cause uncoordinated gulping - perhaps if one is a sickly child and cannot learn the very complex action as a young child due to a blocked nose, one never quite gets the hang of it.