Yea, the same thing has happened to me! I went from starving myself, to now where I basically can't control what I eat. I feel like in a way, my parents trained me to eat more, since they were forcing me so I would gain weight. Now I don't want to be anorexic again.. I just want to be normal and find a balance like you said. I've never gone to a therapist or anything, I've just tried to deal with it on my own. I always thought no one would understand, since I don't know anyone else whose dealt with this. Yea I know what you mean, and it seems crazy to be able to go from starving yourself, to bingeing. I wish I knew why I'm like this now too. I used to be a very dedicated runner, but since I lost all control over my eating, I basically stopped running. I think the best thing to do is to turn to exercise..
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I too had/have the same problem.. ever since i was 13 i had an eating disorder because of my father... he told me that if i would just loose a little weight i would be pretty.. so needless to say, that did it... i became an anorexic.. but noone knew. i hid it from everyone. then i told myself i can get myself better... because everyone around me started saying i looked too thin... so i did.. i ate right and exercised at the gym.. then i met this boy.. and stopped goin to the gym.. but started eating like crazy.. so i gained 30 lbs..... i weigh 130 right now and im 5'3..... he dumped me because he said he would never date a girl that weighed over 130... so now.. im back at my struggle..
My theory to you is..... your never gonna be happy with yourself..
Even at 90 lbs.. i felt fat... i have weighed myself endlessly everyday since i was 13.. i wish i could just feel good!
i recently got married at 130 lbs and i thought it would be the end of the world.. ya know.. not being 90 lbs and all ... but it wasnt.. the pictures came out great!
But i am now on that struggle again of starving myself because.....
i just cant take the fat anymore!!!!!
hi I;m in the same situation now. I was anorexic from age 13-20 and at 21 I felt forced to give up dieting when I really didnt want to. up until there I always had terrible anxiety but all of the sudden all of that anxiety left and was replaced by anger. Partly to deal with the anger I started eating and eating and its been a year and I haven`t stopped. I feel like I`m still in this mode and I cant get out of it until my anxiety comes back but I don`t have any feelings at all and I feel like I have to eat and cant stop. :(