Aa
The secret's out
My secret came out to my fiance last night......I'm Bulimic. He said he would leave me unless I promised to quit. I couldn't make him that promise. I'm 31 yrs old and have been bulimic and anorexic on and off since i was a teenager. I've been with my fiance for over 11 yrs and I've stopped once before because it caused to many fights between us. I started again with the bulimia about a year ago. I used to be a model and got alot of attention on my looks, but since then I've become fat and ugly and that's really hard to deal with. I love him more then anything but I just can't deal with the weight. He doesn't understand that I do it for him too. I know how bad these disorders are on the body, and how life threatening they can be but how do I stop when I don't want to? Especially now . It's more then the weight thing, but also it relieves stress and alot of things have been going on lately that I won't talk about and can't tell anyone. Also, I can't afford the help I should be getting. Is there anyone else out there that has been battling bulimia for awhile too?
Thank you both for the comments. I haven't thrown up(to be blunt) for about a week, but things have gone really bad in my life and I lost my fiance for another reason, so suddenly being bulimic doesn't sound so bad. You see, i have other problems too. I'm sorry but I'm not the 1 to be giving advice....i can't seem to do anything right. I wish i could make friends in real life like i can on here....then maybe i wouldn't be so alone. Please continue to send me messages and i will help anyway i can...i've become an expert on screwing up. I've lost everything.
Going on 14 years... I'm 25.
You can't tell anyone, ever. Other people don't understand. They give ultimatums like your fiancee did. It just leads you in a path to lie.
You'll stop when and if you're ever ready. As you know.... You know that there is help out there, inpatients, outpatients, support groupts, etc. We all know "how" to recover. But like an alcoholic, we will stop once we have had enough.
No person, thing, or event will make you stop unless YOU want to stop.
I was bulemic during my first pregnancy... And as of today, I found out I'm pregnant again.. and I am sure I will be bulemic during this one.
Once my secret got out, it was always thrown in my face. I had to disconnect from those people and start all over with people that don't know.
It almost seems more socially acceptable to be anorexic than bulemic.
Sometimes we may want attention, so we extend our secret out to the person we want attention from... but all that brings is bad news.
You can curb your ED by dicipline... by only buying healthy foods, nothing instant, no microwavable items, no yogurts or cheese... Only foods that it takes time to prepare. That's how I get a hold of mine. And never, never go to the store when you want to binge or when you are hungry. It takes SO MUCH effort. Also, watch out for your triggers.. Mine is iceburg lettuce and ranch dressing..... i can binge on salad like there's no tomorrow and use my trusty purging toothbrush to make it all end up in the toilot.. or shower... or sink.
You can try to take some nutrition classes at your local JC...That's my next attempt to get a hold of Mia.
I am so sorry for the hurt you are having over mia and your fiancee... It's going to continue to be hard because he already gave you that ultimatum.
Sorry this is so long. You're not alone in this struggle.
You can't tell anyone, ever. Other people don't understand. They give ultimatums like your fiancee did. It just leads you in a path to lie.
You'll stop when and if you're ever ready. As you know.... You know that there is help out there, inpatients, outpatients, support groupts, etc. We all know "how" to recover. But like an alcoholic, we will stop once we have had enough.
No person, thing, or event will make you stop unless YOU want to stop.
I was bulemic during my first pregnancy... And as of today, I found out I'm pregnant again.. and I am sure I will be bulemic during this one.
Once my secret got out, it was always thrown in my face. I had to disconnect from those people and start all over with people that don't know.
It almost seems more socially acceptable to be anorexic than bulemic.
Sometimes we may want attention, so we extend our secret out to the person we want attention from... but all that brings is bad news.
You can curb your ED by dicipline... by only buying healthy foods, nothing instant, no microwavable items, no yogurts or cheese... Only foods that it takes time to prepare. That's how I get a hold of mine. And never, never go to the store when you want to binge or when you are hungry. It takes SO MUCH effort. Also, watch out for your triggers.. Mine is iceburg lettuce and ranch dressing..... i can binge on salad like there's no tomorrow and use my trusty purging toothbrush to make it all end up in the toilot.. or shower... or sink.
You can try to take some nutrition classes at your local JC...That's my next attempt to get a hold of Mia.
I am so sorry for the hurt you are having over mia and your fiancee... It's going to continue to be hard because he already gave you that ultimatum.
Sorry this is so long. You're not alone in this struggle.
Thankyou so much for the support... I was afraid of just what you were saying. I'm afraid that I'll regret wasting these young years of my life that I would never get back... I want to enjoy myself and I want to be able to be comfortable with who I am, so that I can be comfortable with other people. I want this more than anything. I will definitely talk to you more about it, I feel like it would really help me out if i had someone to talk to about what youve been testing as motivation and whatnot. Because I want to see what works and what is a waste of my time. I will give you all the input I have. Thankyou again, I appreciate it so much
I'm sorry I waited so long b4 responding. I spent days trying to figure out what I could say to you that would help u get better. I'm still not sure what to say.Ur so young and it makes me wanna cry thinking about u going through what I went through...what i'm still going through. I'm sure u know the damage it does to ur body, and if u dont continue to do what u do, u will gain weight fast because it does screw up ur metabolisom. But, if u don't stop it WILL kill u. Ur always gonna have to deal with it, even if u stop for 10 years, it's still gonna be in ur head, ur always gonna have an eating disorder. I wish I were 16 again so i could make things different. I will never get those years back. I think there is probably an underlying problem that causes u to do this. For me I think it was because I've always hated myself and never felt good enough, just wanted to melt away. Of course the media doesn't help, with the message that they send out, that u have to be beautiful and perfect to be even normal. Ur gonna have so many problems to face in ur life, u DONT need 1 more. Also, there's the hurt u cause to people who care about u, it only gets worse. The truth is, when it comes to this, only u can help u. If u want to talk more please message me.......I'm alone in this too.
I'm 16 years old and have been bulimic for 4 years now.. I was wondering if there is anyway I can get myself out of this problem early? I dont wanna be caught up with this forever.. i cant afford a counsellor and the obsessiveness has taken over my life. is there any kind of motivation that you know of will help? this is so much insanely harder than i expected and i respect you for having to deal with this pain for such a long time.. i hope you find your way <3
Thank you for commenting. Your only 22, I hope ur not in my position in 10 years. I wish I could tell you something inspiring.....but I have nothing because I can't even help myself. I made that promise to my fiance but don't know if I'm gonna break it. Maybe I'll just float back to anorexia. Having ana and mia was always so easy b4, but now it's hard because I have my fiance and friends that have just had enough of it. Also, I worry about whether I'll be okay to have children, and raise them.
I've been battling ana and mia since I was 13 i'm 22 now. it's extremely hard to stop people say they only way was mental help but I can't afford it either. I know where your coming from <3
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