This might be long, sorry!
used to be 150 pounds, at 5'4. I realized I was getting out of control and eating too much. I stopped eating and got a second job. Oh I was 16 or 17 years of age when it started. I only would eat lunch at school, a big one. Then when I graduated high school and started working 80 hours a week, I now realize I spun out of control, but back then I felt powerful that I only ate once a day, or could have a few bites and stop. As time went on, I only had 1 job, still ate a snack
A day, maybe would go 1 day without eating. I developed this weird second voice in my head, kinda like an evil conshants. If I woke up and that voice told me I wasn't going to eat that day, and I would try to force feed myself, I would have a panic attack and vomit, then feelings of guilt for wasting food when that voice told me I wasn't going to eat. As time went by, I had only 1 job and 3 years ago suddenly became physically disabled and can't work. This is where I hit full blown rock bottom. I would only eat a snack once a week, not a meal, it would be a cupcake or something. Something aways sweet because it curved the appetite and I wouldn't feel hungry for a few days. I live with my dad, he never noticed. I felt that I was hiding it very well from my bf of 6 years. Then a few months ago I decided to tell my dad and bf. My bf admitted he assumed I had a problem, but with my unstable mental state (brought on by lack of food) he was scared to confront me. Dad Diddnt believe me until I seeked professional help. They diagnosed me with disordered eating, which they said is not as severe as eating disorder. They gave me a meal plan and sent me on my way. Well I have low blood sugar and the Dr wants me to eat every two hours... I'm barely eating a meal a week, but trying very hard to eat eggs every morning, something in the afternoon and evening, yes I'm doing that much, but its not enough, still get blood lows. I'm in such fear of gaining weight and again realizing im 150 again.