Aa
needing help/ reaching out
HI,
I have been diognosed with Bulimia / Anorexia for 16 years. im finaly seeking help. I do have questions though. A day has not gone by in 12 years that i havent restrsted food all day then purged at nite when i do eat. my chest feels like i have presrure on in alot sudden stabing shocking pains at night and through the day. im weak and i get very dizzy and faint feeling everytime i get up .My Head Hurts like my forheads going to explode ever time i purge anymore my throut hurts contantly and is swolen iv losts several teath to my ED and im still doing this crap. i feel horable. 3 nights ago i had the most fearful nite i was laying in bed drifting off and out of nowhere i get this EXtreem pain and pressure under my left brest and shotness of breath folowed up with a firey buring pain going from what felt like the vain in my neck all the way down my arm to my elbow. I just want input on what all this might be. Im not scared anymore im ready to recover i have 3kids i want to see them get older. at times i feel the pain is to much and id be better off just not waking up. BUT id take any pain and any problem i may have caused to see my childern reach adulthood.
I know that some responces might be hard for me to hear. im ok with that dont sugar coat your responce It dosnt work. IM just ask what some opions might be and im aware its just conversation.
Reaching Out
Jenn
I have been diognosed with Bulimia / Anorexia for 16 years. im finaly seeking help. I do have questions though. A day has not gone by in 12 years that i havent restrsted food all day then purged at nite when i do eat. my chest feels like i have presrure on in alot sudden stabing shocking pains at night and through the day. im weak and i get very dizzy and faint feeling everytime i get up .My Head Hurts like my forheads going to explode ever time i purge anymore my throut hurts contantly and is swolen iv losts several teath to my ED and im still doing this crap. i feel horable. 3 nights ago i had the most fearful nite i was laying in bed drifting off and out of nowhere i get this EXtreem pain and pressure under my left brest and shotness of breath folowed up with a firey buring pain going from what felt like the vain in my neck all the way down my arm to my elbow. I just want input on what all this might be. Im not scared anymore im ready to recover i have 3kids i want to see them get older. at times i feel the pain is to much and id be better off just not waking up. BUT id take any pain and any problem i may have caused to see my childern reach adulthood.
I know that some responces might be hard for me to hear. im ok with that dont sugar coat your responce It dosnt work. IM just ask what some opions might be and im aware its just conversation.
Reaching Out
Jenn
Thank you. I have benn in and out of ed places for 2 and 3 weeks at a time between the ages of 13 and 18 then when i turned of age i said **** it im not being put in another one. I AM trying and I AM going to continue to do so. im trying it out patient at an ed clinic this time. we shall see. iv decided i want that little girl with a smile and energy back i want HOPES AND DREAMs again i want to NOT have this obsession with fat and food.
Its all I have for now is moment to moment.
Jenn
Its all I have for now is moment to moment.
Jenn
(continued)
I set it at a weight loss one, just because i know how hard it is to start off eating knowing its a meal plan that will make you gain weight.
It's hard to comprehend but you actually need to eat quite a lot to stay at a stable weight.
Eating frequently in small doses ups your metabolism. Been proven for weight loss.
Eating in the morning jump starts your metabolism.
These are facts that are proven, but we tend to jump to our own made up versions of things. We THINK starvation works, but what it does, is actually stores fat in our bodies and messes up our metabolism. The only reason we lose weight while starving is if you do it for a LONG long time. If you restrict food not as often you will gain weight.
Fact of purging: It makes you gain weight. It is only your mind thinking it will cause weight loss. But you do not purge the calories. Just the food. Bulimic people are average weight or higher. Especially if they binge eat...
You actually get better results eating small meals during the day. If only eating disorders worked on logical thoughts.
I'm not saying for you to even THINK of losing weight. But that meal plan is a good starting tool. You will need to go to a dietician and they will tell you what your stable weight should be, and they will either lower or stable or rise your meal plan to what is safe for you.
As I said. You can know the facts. But it doesn't change the thought process. You need HELP for that.
Access it first through your doctor, get a mental health community going, and please, please, think about a clinic, it makes things so much easier. Most importantly you need to deal with the underlying issues.
I wish you the best. I am going through it all too, i know its hard, but it is possible. I've seen the light at the end of the tunnel before, i know it exists. And it will just get harder to get out of the longer you leave it. There is hope for everyone.
Your body recovers through the small things. When you start eating healthily it is amazing how you regain back those things. If you are lucky, you can stop the symptoms you are going through. I know the body can heal, it just takes time.
I set it at a weight loss one, just because i know how hard it is to start off eating knowing its a meal plan that will make you gain weight.
It's hard to comprehend but you actually need to eat quite a lot to stay at a stable weight.
Eating frequently in small doses ups your metabolism. Been proven for weight loss.
Eating in the morning jump starts your metabolism.
These are facts that are proven, but we tend to jump to our own made up versions of things. We THINK starvation works, but what it does, is actually stores fat in our bodies and messes up our metabolism. The only reason we lose weight while starving is if you do it for a LONG long time. If you restrict food not as often you will gain weight.
Fact of purging: It makes you gain weight. It is only your mind thinking it will cause weight loss. But you do not purge the calories. Just the food. Bulimic people are average weight or higher. Especially if they binge eat...
You actually get better results eating small meals during the day. If only eating disorders worked on logical thoughts.
I'm not saying for you to even THINK of losing weight. But that meal plan is a good starting tool. You will need to go to a dietician and they will tell you what your stable weight should be, and they will either lower or stable or rise your meal plan to what is safe for you.
As I said. You can know the facts. But it doesn't change the thought process. You need HELP for that.
Access it first through your doctor, get a mental health community going, and please, please, think about a clinic, it makes things so much easier. Most importantly you need to deal with the underlying issues.
I wish you the best. I am going through it all too, i know its hard, but it is possible. I've seen the light at the end of the tunnel before, i know it exists. And it will just get harder to get out of the longer you leave it. There is hope for everyone.
Your body recovers through the small things. When you start eating healthily it is amazing how you regain back those things. If you are lucky, you can stop the symptoms you are going through. I know the body can heal, it just takes time.
You can know the facts. But they don't help.
The facts are that you are killing yourself. The medical symptoms you feel are the hard facts of eating disorders. Frankly, 16 years is a long, long time for the habit you have inflicted upon your body. Think about the logic here. You starve yourself, and purge any food you have, for 16 years... are you surprised you are still alive? Bodies are NOT that tough. You are harming yourself.
The devastating thing about some of the things you inflict, will not go away. You have to find the part of you that cares about your health and safety.
Chest pains - you need to go to a doctor for that.
But frankly, they won't do anything to save you, if you keep killing yourself.
I know reading this instills fear, but it still doesn't make you want to stop. As I said, you can know what you are doing to your body, though over time thoughts get warped, you still know its unhealthy and you are killing yourself.
I can tell this to you as if I know what I am talking about, but i sympathize greatly because... even I don't follow what i just wrote.
I've had eating disorders for 8 years. And I have more dangerous physical symptoms than you, and knowing that im near death still does not motivate me to stop. It's the worst addiction, mental illness out there.
I have recovered in the past though. And I know, the first steps (as with any addiction) are to first focus on the structure, routine, and FORCING yourself to follow a strict meal plan.
It's quite impossible to do it alone if you are too into it. You will need outside help, a community of professionals, group therapy, counsellors, therapists, psychiatrists, a dietician, and also a stay at an eating disorder clinic.
The clinic will only help you to start.
The MOST important part of this all is to deal with the underlying issues. You need to work on your issues around "control" and why? You need to work on your perfectionism. You need to work on your confidence.
Clinics can be an eye opener. You realise every woman with an eating disorder has similarities. The common characteristics are... something wrong in your life that leaves you feeling like you have no control, perfectionism, charisma, caring personalities, usually artistic and sensitive, they all suffer from similar traits (if you were to talk about bad anorexic ritual habits most of them are the same which is creepy)
But clinics can also be bad in a few ways. Comparing issues to other women, some prevent you from exercise (which is needed to be healthy), and you can easily take on traits of other people. Because eating disorders are so similar in their strange rituals, someone in an early process will witness someone in a longer process and learn the later bad habits earlier than they should. But you also learn a lot about how to view other women correctly, thus it makes you view yourself a lot better. Women with eating disorders are the most exceptional people i have ever met (and i despise other women) but they are always amazing people, to the point you dont compare yourself to their bodies because their minds and personalities are so extravagant and amazing compared to people without eating disorders. It's a weird thing. A common characteristic is that charisma, although they dont feel they matter, they really do matter to people, they don't just look beautiful, they truly are beautiful inside (even though they struggle). I truly cannot say that for general human beings, but i noticed that with eating disordered people.
The fact is though, we get eating disorders because of something bad in our lives that we need to deal with. Also, eating disorders usually make a person have anxiety, delusions, psychosis, depression, imbalanced mood, anger, and they RUIN close family relationships.
Post meal is important. If you don't already know, after eating a meal is the worst thing to deal with. You need distractions. Activities to keep your mind off while you digest.
you may have problems digesting at first, it may be painful. The bloating is the worst part.
I know for me, bloating, illogically makes me think i got fat in a few seconds. On top of that its painful. You may have mal nutrition.
You stick through the painful part of re introducing food and it will soon be over. For some people it takes different time periods. You need medical supervision during this time.
If your body is not used to it, you have to start with VERY very small snacks. Start with one a day, but BE STRICT that in three days you will have three small snacks a day after.
The proper meal plan to follow (made by dieticians) is Six small meals a day. Three meals, three snacks.
Get up early, force yourself to eat breakfast. Servings are always the size of your palm.
For breakfast you need two starches, (two peices of bread) or a bowl of healthy cereal. You need a dairy product serving, unless you cannot eat dairy. So a glass of milk, or milk on your cereal, or a yogurt. Protien would be good to add to every meal, even if its just a small peice of cheese (cheese is protien). You need a fruit or vegetable serving at every meal.
Which is why the breakfast I ALWAYS had, was two toasts with a cut up banana and peanut butter. The most nutrition for people with eating disorders. Because the peanut butter is good protien. And the banana is good for potassium (and your potassium levels get messed up through purging) which is what causes fainting spells, and the weakness.
ANd it also is easy to make and not as huge looking as most meals.
Along with that you also need a glass of milk, or fruit juice if you wish.
Then you eat a small snack. Nuts are good for repairing your body.
For lunch the best thing which includes all the food groups is a sandwhich. Start with half a sand which, but make your way to a full one. Make sure you have meat, cheese, veggies on it. Also have a peice of fruit. Another serving of dairy. A fruit.
Another snack.
And Dinner. Anything you want, but make sure to include starches, proteins, and vegetables mostly. Make sure it is as big as a dinner plate.
Another snack three hours before you go to bed.
Now before you dread this meal plan, it makes you lose weight.
Hard to beleive eh? That's what i always think when i start it. But when i am dormant, with no physical activity at all, you notice weight loss in a matter of weeks on this plan.
Because have an eating disorder we totally forget our body needs food, and we actually lose weight faster by eating regularly and healthy.
Now. You are going to have to up that meal plan by talking to a dietician to figure out YOUR NEEDS to stay at a stable weight. For example if you are active, you are going to have to add alot more servings to it.
The facts are that you are killing yourself. The medical symptoms you feel are the hard facts of eating disorders. Frankly, 16 years is a long, long time for the habit you have inflicted upon your body. Think about the logic here. You starve yourself, and purge any food you have, for 16 years... are you surprised you are still alive? Bodies are NOT that tough. You are harming yourself.
The devastating thing about some of the things you inflict, will not go away. You have to find the part of you that cares about your health and safety.
Chest pains - you need to go to a doctor for that.
But frankly, they won't do anything to save you, if you keep killing yourself.
I know reading this instills fear, but it still doesn't make you want to stop. As I said, you can know what you are doing to your body, though over time thoughts get warped, you still know its unhealthy and you are killing yourself.
I can tell this to you as if I know what I am talking about, but i sympathize greatly because... even I don't follow what i just wrote.
I've had eating disorders for 8 years. And I have more dangerous physical symptoms than you, and knowing that im near death still does not motivate me to stop. It's the worst addiction, mental illness out there.
I have recovered in the past though. And I know, the first steps (as with any addiction) are to first focus on the structure, routine, and FORCING yourself to follow a strict meal plan.
It's quite impossible to do it alone if you are too into it. You will need outside help, a community of professionals, group therapy, counsellors, therapists, psychiatrists, a dietician, and also a stay at an eating disorder clinic.
The clinic will only help you to start.
The MOST important part of this all is to deal with the underlying issues. You need to work on your issues around "control" and why? You need to work on your perfectionism. You need to work on your confidence.
Clinics can be an eye opener. You realise every woman with an eating disorder has similarities. The common characteristics are... something wrong in your life that leaves you feeling like you have no control, perfectionism, charisma, caring personalities, usually artistic and sensitive, they all suffer from similar traits (if you were to talk about bad anorexic ritual habits most of them are the same which is creepy)
But clinics can also be bad in a few ways. Comparing issues to other women, some prevent you from exercise (which is needed to be healthy), and you can easily take on traits of other people. Because eating disorders are so similar in their strange rituals, someone in an early process will witness someone in a longer process and learn the later bad habits earlier than they should. But you also learn a lot about how to view other women correctly, thus it makes you view yourself a lot better. Women with eating disorders are the most exceptional people i have ever met (and i despise other women) but they are always amazing people, to the point you dont compare yourself to their bodies because their minds and personalities are so extravagant and amazing compared to people without eating disorders. It's a weird thing. A common characteristic is that charisma, although they dont feel they matter, they really do matter to people, they don't just look beautiful, they truly are beautiful inside (even though they struggle). I truly cannot say that for general human beings, but i noticed that with eating disordered people.
The fact is though, we get eating disorders because of something bad in our lives that we need to deal with. Also, eating disorders usually make a person have anxiety, delusions, psychosis, depression, imbalanced mood, anger, and they RUIN close family relationships.
Post meal is important. If you don't already know, after eating a meal is the worst thing to deal with. You need distractions. Activities to keep your mind off while you digest.
you may have problems digesting at first, it may be painful. The bloating is the worst part.
I know for me, bloating, illogically makes me think i got fat in a few seconds. On top of that its painful. You may have mal nutrition.
You stick through the painful part of re introducing food and it will soon be over. For some people it takes different time periods. You need medical supervision during this time.
If your body is not used to it, you have to start with VERY very small snacks. Start with one a day, but BE STRICT that in three days you will have three small snacks a day after.
The proper meal plan to follow (made by dieticians) is Six small meals a day. Three meals, three snacks.
Get up early, force yourself to eat breakfast. Servings are always the size of your palm.
For breakfast you need two starches, (two peices of bread) or a bowl of healthy cereal. You need a dairy product serving, unless you cannot eat dairy. So a glass of milk, or milk on your cereal, or a yogurt. Protien would be good to add to every meal, even if its just a small peice of cheese (cheese is protien). You need a fruit or vegetable serving at every meal.
Which is why the breakfast I ALWAYS had, was two toasts with a cut up banana and peanut butter. The most nutrition for people with eating disorders. Because the peanut butter is good protien. And the banana is good for potassium (and your potassium levels get messed up through purging) which is what causes fainting spells, and the weakness.
ANd it also is easy to make and not as huge looking as most meals.
Along with that you also need a glass of milk, or fruit juice if you wish.
Then you eat a small snack. Nuts are good for repairing your body.
For lunch the best thing which includes all the food groups is a sandwhich. Start with half a sand which, but make your way to a full one. Make sure you have meat, cheese, veggies on it. Also have a peice of fruit. Another serving of dairy. A fruit.
Another snack.
And Dinner. Anything you want, but make sure to include starches, proteins, and vegetables mostly. Make sure it is as big as a dinner plate.
Another snack three hours before you go to bed.
Now before you dread this meal plan, it makes you lose weight.
Hard to beleive eh? That's what i always think when i start it. But when i am dormant, with no physical activity at all, you notice weight loss in a matter of weeks on this plan.
Because have an eating disorder we totally forget our body needs food, and we actually lose weight faster by eating regularly and healthy.
Now. You are going to have to up that meal plan by talking to a dietician to figure out YOUR NEEDS to stay at a stable weight. For example if you are active, you are going to have to add alot more servings to it.
jenn the best thing to do to break the issue eat small portions every 3 hrs a day you still will have headaches for a while but once your in the routine you will be fine
I think that you need to consult with a doctor. The symptoms that you are describing could potentially be very serious and possibly even life threatening.
Several things that come to mind, besides hypoglycemia, are electrolyte imbalances and cardiac problems.
I would talk with a doctor (preferably a psychiatrist or someone specializing in ED's).
I think that you need to be in an ED's clinic or in psychotherapy (possibly intensive).
It's interesting that you didn't want it sugar coated. Kind of fits the theme of low calorie.
Several things that come to mind, besides hypoglycemia, are electrolyte imbalances and cardiac problems.
I would talk with a doctor (preferably a psychiatrist or someone specializing in ED's).
I think that you need to be in an ED's clinic or in psychotherapy (possibly intensive).
It's interesting that you didn't want it sugar coated. Kind of fits the theme of low calorie.
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