Avatar universal

Very distressed- ED

Hi there,

Here is my situation, I would really appreciate any words of reassurance or advice.

I am 27 and have been sexually active without any problems for a decade.

Since I was 20 or so, I have been on the anti-depressant Paroxetine.

I broke up with my girlfriend of six years about 8 months ago. After that I had several casual sexual encounters without any problems.

I started going out with another girl in November last year. We're now official and I love and care for her very very much. We haven't had sex yet because she is a virgin, and I'm happy to wait.

I began worrying about random things obsessively in mid 2013. In November, I went to a GP and she changed my medication from Paroxetine to Sertraline. I re-took up smoking, and about a week later, I began having problems with my erections. Even on my own, my erections were much weaker, and I would masturbate without being fully hard. I now very rarely masturbate- sometimes for longer than 2 weeks, because of this. Sometimes when I am hard, my penis becomes flaccid, apparently for no reason.

I soon became very depressed and, thinking that the cause of my problems was the new medication or cigarettes, I stopped smoking and stopped taking the medication- so I was medication free. After several weeks without masturbating and several trips to the GP and remaining very depressed, with no improvement in the erection department, I was put back onto the Paroxetine at 20mg. My GP thought the issue was basically in my head due to anxiety.

I should note here that my girlfriend and I have had oral sex, and I was able to perform, though maybe not as strongly as I could before. We have also "dry-humped" several times, and each  time I get pretty intense pain in my pubic area afterwards. I told this to my doctor but she didn't seem at all convinced that this was of relevance, although I never had this pain before with anybody else. I don't think that the pubic pain is serious, i.e. prostate cancer, as I don't think I have any other symptoms of that illness.

After a few weeks of being on the Paroxetine, my erections returned at almost 100% of what they had been previously- i.e. pretty strong. I was very happy for the week or so that the erections remained strong, but then they became week once again about 2 weeks ago, and I am again feeling depressed. I find that my libido is probably below what it was before this started, probably because the thought of sex automatically makes me think of my problem. That said, I am looking forward to having sex with my girlfriend- I just don't want my problem to mess it up. I think that maybe my issue could be to do with the fact that my gf is a virgin- I've never had sex with a virgin before. Alternatively, it could be a physical problem related to the pubic pain.

I have had my testosterone, blood sugar, thryroid etc checked, and all is normal. I don't drink, I have a reasonable amount of exercise and I don't smoke, although I do use an electric cigarette.

I love my girlfriend and I want to be able to satisfy her in every way I can. Please please help.


2 Responses
Sort by: Helpful Oldest Newest
Avatar universal
I think almost everyone will have some periods of low libido in their lives. the more you think of it and worry over, the greater it gets. My suggestion is for you to stop worrying and take it easy. If it still does not work out, consult a specialist. It is the same advise as Anitha's.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Hi, understand your anxiety. To begin with stop worrying. As there is no organic problem detected, you can go for professional counselling and see if it helps. Please consult a urologist for your problem. Regards.
Helpful - 0
Have an Answer?

You are reading content posted in the Erectile Dysfunction Community

Top Sexual Health Answerers
139792 tn?1498585650
Indore, India
Avatar universal
Southwest , MI
Learn About Top Answerers
Didn't find the answer you were looking for?
Ask a question
Popular Resources
Millions of people are diagnosed with STDs in the U.S. each year.
STDs can't be transmitted by casual contact, like hugging or touching.
Syphilis is an STD that is transmitted by oral, genital and anal sex.
Discharge often isn't normal, and could mean an infection or an STD.
STDs aren't transmitted through clothing. Fabric is a germ barrier.
Normal vaginal discharge varies in color, smell, texture and amount.