Did Your IVF Fail?

[colls133]

Hi All,
I would love to connect with those who have had failed IVF's. Im 37 and have had 3 attempts at IVF..one cycle was cancelled and two failed. I'm feeling very discouraged and starting to lose hope at having a baby of my own. I've had a great experience on these threads so I thought I'd start a new one! Hope to hear from you all soon!

[Hoping2BAMom]

We've also had 3 IVF attempts.  The first 2 failed & our third has given us a BFP.  We had one frozen embryo left from our second try.  I took about three months off in between our second try and third try.  I felt like my body and my mind needed the rest and a break from both the meds and the emotional roller coaster that is IVF.  In October, we went back and had FET of one little frozen "bean" and low and behold it worked!  I'm now almost 7 wks pregnant.  I think my being more relaxed after some time off really helped and I also think there is something to be said for the frozen embryos being stronger.  The fact they have survived until day 6 to be frozen and then they survive the freezing and thawing process has to speak to their strength.  Hope this gives you some hope!!  My thoughts and prayers are with you.  

[colls133]

Thanks Hoping...your story does give me hope. Although I am so thankful for the attempts we've had, I do wish for one more. Congrats on your BFP!

[cheekyhalfs]

Hi Ladies

I have had one failed IVF and an IUI which I am due to test for tomorrow but I know this has failed too!!  My breasts are not as tender today, and I have slight cramps which is always a sign - meaning my progesterone levels have dropped and we need this to support a pregnancy.  I feel so low at the moment :-(  All my best friends are popping babies like there is no tomorrow, some on their 2nd and 3rd.  Life works in mysterious ways at times :'-(  Having a break now until after the new year, am going to relax and enjoy not being in a routine or diet and just go with the flow.  Best wishes to you both :-D

[colls133]

Hi Cheeky, I can really relate to everything you said! I just got a BFN about two weeks ago and am still bummed out by it. My friends are also on their 2nd or 3rd babies and my younger sister just announced that she's pregnant yesterday. I'm happy for her but its hard to get excited about it because I want one too! Good luck on your test tomorrow, you just never know...my fingers are crossed for you!

[cheekyhalfs]

Well it's another no for us :'-(  Hard after going to visit my best mate last night who has just had a little baby girl.  She tried for 6 months and thought this was a long time!!  Two and a half years for us and even I know this is nothing in comparison to the heartache some couples must face when its like 7-8 years of trying.  I refuse to believe I will not experience my own little baby growing and kicking away starting it's life inside my belly :-)  Am going to get a biopsy done on my womb lining in the new year, see if I am perhaps rejecting fertilised eggs.  I would rather do this now before any other IUI's.  For now, we just gotta keep our chins up and believe one day we will be blessed with our little miracle. Best of luck to you.

[colls133]

Aw no, I'm sorry for your negative test result...that stinks.  Keep your chin up and know that there are many women here who are available to support you!
I see my RE next week to determine what the plan is for us. I'm hoping he will let us squeeze one more IVF in before the end of the year. Our insurance is changing and they will no longer cover IVF/ART's starting the first of the year...another bummer. However, he may not let us because last time I saw him he stated that I needed to have surgery before we attempt anymore cycles.

I've had the same feelings of refusing to believe that I will not be pregnant. I can just picture it and feel it and know that it will happen someday.

Good luck with the biopsy, Im interested to hear your results. I've often wondered why my embryos were not implanting...
Take care and talk to you soon!

[Hopefaith22]

Hi I have just had my 2nd Ivf cycle I had 2 good embryo day 5 transfer and just found out it's failed again I'm feeling so low the hurt and pain of it all is a nightmare I still have 1 more cycle plus I have 2 frozen embryo but I'm loosing hope and don't know what to do :-(

[cheekyhalfs]

Hi ladies

Thanks for you lovely words; life is such a strange thing at times, and the main thing I ask every failed month is why do people who are not particularly good people fall pregnant at the drop of a hat, yet here were are a lovely loving couple, would do anything for anyone and yet struggling so much with the one thing we were literally all born to do!  But then I try tell remind myself we are sooo lucky to have one another and be nice and healthy.  However, our hearts can only cope with so much...good luck with your next appt, I really hope it all goes well and he has lots of positive things to say.

Hopefaith; I'm truly sorry for your failed cycle. We all know how you feel :'-(  Do you mind if I ask how long you have been ttc?  I think things just aren't meant to be at times, not forever, just not this time.  I really believe we will all be mummies one day, no matter which way as we will look to adopt in years to come if we aren't successful.  But I crave sooo much to have our little child growing inside of me and believe I WILL, we all will :-)  Just got to hang in there, and take each cycle as it comes and pray for our miracle.  You still have plenty going for you, what with another IVF and frozen emby's.  I had no frozen emby's after my failed IVF and our treatment only permits one IVF.  I live in the UK where it's different, so I had 1 IVF and have 3 goes at IUI, one of which as you know has just failed.  So 2 left!!!

All I can say, is talk with your Husband/partners as much as possible, and let it all out and deep deep down keep believing one day you will have your time.  I see an acupunturist who gives me loads of medical/diet/health advice during each treatment so if you want any info/advice just let me know as I do think it all makes sense and helps us.

Fingers crossed and loads of luck.  

[Hopefaith22]

Hi cheeky thanks for that it's just so hard feels my hart was ripped out I have been trying for about 4 years now soon be 5 I keep thinking there is something else I can do to help but don't know what all your info would be great thanks. I live in uk too was suppose to have 2 cycles only but the last cycle they let the temp drop so because of that they giving me a 3rd go plz advise

[cheekyhalfs]

Hi there, yip...got the breaking heart :-(  It's just crap basically isn't it!  Bless you, I just don't think I can cope with another 2+ years!!  You are very sytong, how do you do it?! My poor husband is the softest most gentlest man I know, and he too just looks heartbroken.  My acupunture lady is AMAZING!  In general, she has advises to lay off all smoking, drinking, caffeine & choc (unless 70% dark choc which we can treat ourselves to a square for our fix lol) which we have done so for over a year now.  We do drink the odd glass of wine/beer but not around ovulation time!  She has told us to be good 80% of the month and you can always allow 20% for your little treats as you still need to live life and enjoy it. During our IVF & IUI its strictly none of the above though, and my Hubby hasnt drunk spirits for over a year now as these really badly effect sperm.  He has 4 brazil nuts each day and often has a glass of pomegranate juice, good for antioxidents and he also takes 1 wellman conception tablet a day (buy from Boots)!  Just before and for the 2 weeks after treatment I must eat a low GI diet (slow release carbs) because your sugar levels can't drop or increase loads as this can poss affect implantation.  No over stretching/reaching up, as again this can distrupt a little embyro trying to implant.  No hot baths in last 2 weeks.  Some gentle exercise, like walking but not going to the gym or anything.  Gentle walking helps the bloodflow etc to the womb, so it's best not to bed rest but take it easy. Lots and lots of water (2-3 ltre a day) as this helps with implantation and laugh lots.  Very hard when you're so scared to move and not in the mood, but apparently laughter is very very good for us :-)

Personally, and this was advised to specifically help me as I have a low egg reserve and not very good hormones as well as a slight pelvis misalignment; but I take  1x 1000mg of evening primrose oil and 1x 75mg of aspirin for the first 14 days of my cycle only.  I must stop this from day 15 onwards.  This helps with the bloodflow to my uterus.  And of course my folic acid, which I feel like I have been taking forever lol.

My husband and I try to make sure we have something really lovely to look forward to each month, or every couple of months to try take our minds off the constant "what's happening in there this month".  I do find this sometimes helps in general with our relationship as all this treatment can put quite a strain on things.

I suppose all we can do is try to continue believing it will happen, you will get your little baby one day ;-)  Keep strong!  I think you have done superbly tbh.

[Hopefaith22]

Thanks so much I will keep this info to remember on my next cycle I will keep my fingers crossed not only for me but you too I'm sure we will get our BFP one day I just must not loose hope keep me updated on how you are getting on always here if you need to chat :-)

[Blue28]

Hi ladies... it's been almost 2 months since I've been on here... my 3rd IVF attempt failed in September and I was heartbroken! My first attempt was cancelled, and the second & third were BFNs. It's so hard to cope with, and keep a brave face... when inside you're dying :(

However, I'm making the most of the 'break' and trying to do things for myself and spend quality time with my hubby instead of obsessing over dates, times, needles, blood tests, scans.... it all got a bit too much.

I'm also from the UK but live in France, so I'm looking forward to Christmas as my family are coming to visit. Then in January we're starting our 4th IVF attempt. I have to say I'm not all that positive about it, but my doctor has changed my treatment so I hope things will be better this time.

I'm pleased that you started this thread colls 133 as I thought I was the only person going through this crap (I know I wasn't but it felt like that)... it's nice to be able to chat with people who don't ask 'so when you having a baby' as they don't know the story behind the face. And I totally sympathise with you colls 133 as all my friends have had babies since we've been trying (over 3 years now) and it doesn't get any easier to deal with. Don't get me wrong, I'm SO happy for them, but it just highlights even more my saddness, it's hard.

Wow Cheeky, thanks so much for the information... my hubby is also taking the Wellman tablets, even though it didn't change the result of his last sperm count. I suppose it can't hurt, we'll try anything.

Well, that's me... good luck to all you ladies! And believe me it gets better, even if the hurt is still there :)

[babie4me]

Hi all
I just got my BFN on my latest FET.
We got a BFP on our 1st FET cycle but suffered a missed miscarriage at 7wks. I'm really down right now, b/c I would be ready to have that baby in early December. Its seems like its all I can think about. Thankfully, my dh is very supportive during this entire process.
I'm glad that you started this thread too, b/c I have not been able to tell any of my family members. Like everybody else, it seems like all of the gals around me are having babies like crazy! This includes my next door neighbor; co-workers and cousins.

My RE wants to do a hysteroscopy to make sure that all is well with my uterus and tubes before the next cycle. I'm not looking forward to this, but i welcome the break from the meds....I think we're going to wait until after the holidays to get started again.

Hope everybody had a great thanksgiving!

[colls133]

Cheeky - thanks so much for all of your positive wisdom! Great advice! I've never heard of the Wellman tablets, I'll have to look into that...

Hopefaith- I'm glad you joined our thread. It is so hard to get that BFN over and over again. I wish I had some advice to give you but I too feel like I must be doing something wrong...

Blue28 - Yes, it often feels like your the only one going through this crappy infertility. Everywhere you turn there's a baby commercial, stroller going down the street, or another friend announcing a pregnancy on Facebook. It can be a very lonely time!

Has anyone heard of the medication G-CSF? It's supposed to help with implantation. I'll ask my RE about it at my next appointment...
Talk soon!

[colls133]

Hi Babie4me! Welcome and Im glad you joined us!
I had a HSG which I think is a hysteroscopy? I may be wrong about that but...It was'nt too bad. I mostly found it uncomfortable after the test, I had very strong cramping for 1-2 minutes but was then fine. It's actually kind of interesting because they let me watch on the screen while the dye was running through the fallopian tubes. Also, my ob/gyn told me your chances of getting pregnant actually increase after the HSG because it opens up the tubes!

I have also kept this from most of my family and friends. But, i just recently had to tell my boss. Surprisingly she was really supportive! It inspired me to let a few more people know about it and again they were supportive. I just could'nt keep the secret any longer...

[Blue28]

Hi, I had a hysteroscopy this year, they did it in between my first and second ivf treatment. Basically they insert a probe with a tiny camera on the end of it into your uterus (through the vagina), it's to see the lining etc to check all is ok. It's a bit uncomfortable but not as bad as the hysterosalpingography I had where they insert dye into your tubes to check they're not blocked (this may be what you had done colls 133). The hysteroscopy reassured my gynecologist, and me, that the lining of my womb was normal as they thought it was very thick when they did the first ivf egg collection. Hope this helps ;)

[colls133]

Ahhh yes...that sounds more like it...a hysterosalpinography. Sorry for the bad information Babie4me and thanks for the clarification Blue28!

[babie4me]

Thanks for welcoming me!
My RE says I'll be put "under" for the hysteroscopy and she's going to do a hsg at the same time. I'm so glad to be among lairs who know what I'm goin through.

Have any of you perfected a response for the painful question "when are you going to have kids" or why don't you have any or what are waiting for, etc?

[colls133]

Are'nt those questions awful?!!  
I wish I had a real zinger to use but I don't...I usually say, "we're not lucky enough yet..." The person usually understands and does'nt ask any further questions. I know people are just being curious, but those are painful questions when your struggling with infertility!

[babie4me]

Oops! I meant ladies not lairs (fat fingers and autocorrect on the iPhone) :)
Those pesky questions never get any easier for me to answer....

[Risa615]

Yes, I have had a failed IVF along with double digits in IUIs.  I had been trying for four years, 3 of those years with treatment.  My FSH is elevated, usually between 18-22 so of course I always get the donor egg speech. I am not ready to go that way, I know it will always be there and can try donor eggs later in life, plus it does cost a lot of money!  I just did an injectable cycle and IUI that failed. If I get a good responds to meds, I will do another IVF even though it will cost me a lot.  I hope to go to the RE Monday or Tuesday and see if I can do meds this cycle.

[colls133]

Hi Risa615, welcome! I'm sorry to hear about your most recent IUI. It never gets easier to have a failed cycle...will your insurance cover any of the IVF for you?

[cheekyhalfs]

Hello again ladies, welcome to everyone new whom I haven't spoken to :-)

Your all very welcome about the info, it all counts I suppose at the end of the day doesn't it?!  It hasn't given us much luck as yet, but I know it's only time.

I feel a little better now thanks after the failed IUI.  The Fri/Sat there was pretty rubbish but we are moving on as best as we can!  

With regards to they "dreaded" questions...to be honest I told my Hubby that one day I'm going to say "actually we can't have children and it is breaking our hearts" and see how said person reacts lol.  I don't think I will ever actually say this though, but I know after a failed treatment it's the last thing you want to hear from a work colleague etc.  I have found it a little easier to tell more people now, it saves them the embarrassment and me the pain and most of my family know now too!

I feel so much better coming on here and reading about all your stories/lives (although it makes me teary too lol), as much as I know just how bad infertility is in couples nowadays, it's nice to speak directly to those who completely understand me, not a little, or who think they do, but who 100% wholeheartedly know how our hearts feel after each dreaded failed treatment/monthly cycles.  Most people it is just ignorance, not in a bad way, but most folk assume it's SO easy to make a baby!  Well its not....if only that was all we needed was that special "cuddle" hehe from our partners life would be so much simpler, and pain free!  But the whole process is amazing and tough, and only a few pregnancies occur; even though it feels and looks like millions.  It's just sadly we aren't quite in they odds as yet.  BUT WE ALL WILL BE :-D

I've had my 3 very best friends all give birth recently, and one of them is pregnant again, but she did struggle for 2 years to conceive her first....so I do have hope but it has been very very hard.  

Anyway....they say Christmas is when lots of babies are conceived what with the cold weather (something we certainly have here in the UK) and our minds on other things, so lets pray that at least one of us has some fab news over Christmas/New year.

Best of luck to everyone....I will keep my fingers, toes, eyes and ooooh just everything crossed hehe :o)

TAKE CARE

[cutepoppy]

m 33....after 5 failed iuis i too had a failed ivf this august...was so heartbroken...now finally bac to work and moving on...after 6 months we tried normally this month...but i dont have any hopes...we are on an adoption process...but we hav promised that we will keep trying for a pregnancy...lets see..take care lovely ladies...i feel we will have our only dream turned into reality ....