Is this weird? How would you feel?

[maybebaby29]

Hi Everyone

I was wondering if this is a 'just me' kind of thing.

The husband and I have been trying for a year. As of Jan. we are seeing a RE and doing clomid and IUI (for now). We are on round 2.

Very close family/friends know we  are going through this. My husband's best friend is trying too. Within 4 months they got pregnant (even with his extreme travelling for work). He told my husband the day of our IUI and after we got out of the doc office, my husband told me (great timing, eh?).

The kicker was that his wife wasn't supposed to know that we knew. So what does she do? She sets dinner plans with us at a restaurant for this weekend--just the 2 of us--to announce she's pregnant.

I am happy for all people who get that BFP but at the same time, it's a little uncomfortabe to hear it again when they know we're going through this stuff. I will say though, she finally got a clue yesterday and mentioned to her husband that in hindsight, she was worried how I would take the news. I appreciated that acknowledgement since all along I found it kind of weird to be told privately this info when we're having no luck even with medical intervention.

Would you have thought this whole private dinner announcement weird? I am not used to people who are close to us telling us they're pregnant in such a fashion. Usually it's at the 3 month mark and news trickles in casually. She's about a month or less.

I was put off by this but I'm better know that she admitted that maybe it would have made me upset.

[maybebaby29]

I guess there is no good way for fertiles to tell us actually. I mean, what should they do? Walk on eggshells. But at the same time, I hope they realize how much we are going through and at least be considerate of our feelings.

6 rounds of clomid? Wow. See, everywhere I read, they said 3-4 should be the max because if it doesn't work in that time, it just won't work (meaning effectiveness goes down I guess). But hey, if your body handles it well enough, then go for it.

Injections as steady or a trigger? I did one round of Clomid + IUI and unmonitored last month and failed. This month was Clomid (this time 'felt it working'; man were my ovaries killing me) and Ovidrel trigger + monitoring. I went in on the 10th. They said LH was 61.1 (from 8.6) and 3 decent follicles (one being dominant; I had a total of 8 but only 3 were decent enough to be considered).

The IUI is pretty easy. Now that I know what to expect, it is no different than a pinchy pap. Not horrible, just a little more "feeling" than a pap. Don't be suprised if you get cramps afterwards. Totally normal. Although this time, I got nothing except my ovaries were still killing me. By midnight though, that trigger sure did work. I FELT the egg release!!! Very odd and semi painful but I felt the egg squeeze through slowly. I know it sounds crazy and not sure if others got that (different than the typical Clomid soreness of ovaries). But to me, I know what a 'push through' feeling feels like. It made me feel really good knowing that it worked. :) Or at least that's how I feel about it. I need some confirmation that this is worth it.

I won't know the news until about the 24th. So far, 1 week down (starting tomorrow). Just remember that with any injectable DO NOT test early. Many times you'll get a false positive. Try to wait it out until day 14.

Here's good luck to us both!!!!!

[DISNEY CHICK]

I know how you feel.  I told my sister in law my dh and I were trying... and noone else, well then the next month she gets pregg...and she wasent even trying!  It was an accident!  Now here baby is 6mths old and still no baby for me.  The worst part is she told us in front of the entire FAMILY!  I am going to do An IUI this next Cycle with ingections (have already done 6 rounds clomid)  All my test have been fine as well.  When is your IUI scedualed?

[maybebaby29]

Thanks for sharing and understanding. I don't get it. I know that I'm still a "kid" about all of this seeing I'm only on round 2 of IUI+trigger when so many have been in the journey a lot longer and harder. It's just so...unbelievable. I said I would never go through any of this and yet, here I am with super sore ovaries, giving a shot, etc. Amazing what we'll go through.

It will happen for us. We're stronger than the rest.

[dnikki0928]

I know what you guys mean. I have a sister in law who told us she was preggo in Jan. I think she was 6 or 8 weeks. Yes I was happy, but jealous, envious all of those. Well, two months ago (andthe family know how hard we have been trying, just not the details) it was announced they were having twins - naturally, no drugs, no nothing. That evening I heard it from 3 or 4 different people who were all excited and all. I broke down. Crying and sobbing mess to my husband.  Well now things have calmed down a bit, but my mom. It almost feels like it's being shoved in my face and it's all I hear about from her - not to mention one of them is her first grandaughter. So anywho, I'm happy in all for them and hope everything stays great and they have healthy babies, but seriously people.....

Some women are just so fertile!! Why  not us????

[ginmac]

I hear all of that frustration.. I get it!  A co-worker and I (she is a close co-worker, we work in a very small place) started ttc at the same time, a year and a half ago... both of us had our share of obstacles, and she and her husband ended up getting pregnant (they are due in a few weeks). She very respectfully told me privately before telling the rest of the girls at work, knowing that the news would be upsetting for me.  I hold a deep respect for her empathy toward my situation, and through her entire pregnancy she maintained that respect by not talking too much about her pregnancy, as I am very sensative about it. Don't get me wrong, I am ecstatic for her, but, the feelings of unjust, anger, jealousy... all of those can start to build up too.  I think your friend was likely just trying to respect your reaction by telling you privately, rather than telling you while a group of people were there, or, having you hear it from someone else.  

Anyway, now that I've blabbered on, I just wanted you to know that I understand what you are going through, as I too don't understand how this can't be working yet!

I will be thinking of you!

[maybebaby29]

Thanks. I am not horribly angry. I told my husband it would have been hard if I lost a baby. But I do feel this feeling of "what the @$#" because to me, science should cure all. It all seems so logical...

great labs
great count
great follicles
HSG perfect

What's the deal???

Thanks for listening. Just venting frustration here while I 2ww.

[alaskacouple]

my best friend and I originally started to try and get prego at the same time (back in 2000) needless to say, they were prego the 2nd month.  I was excited for them.  But then in 2004 when they got prego again, she was afraid to tell me.  She told my dh and I in secret so that we would not find out from anyone else and have our feelings hurt both ways.  Yes, I was mad, hurt, jealous, envious, ... all of those emotions... but I was also happy for them, that they could have healthy children with little effort.  I did not want to take away from their excitement and joy.  Later my husband and I vented by taking a couples trip to Hawaii, just adults... :-) It was a nice way to relax and enjoy each other.

[bny807]

I think that most people once they get pregnant that they are so caught up in the excitement of their news that most likely they don't think much (at least not at first) about how they might be coming across to other people in different situations. Now that we are in this situation i know that there is no way to know how it feels to be on this end without experiencing it first hand.. I have a friend who complains to me it seems daily about all the "aches pains and bad things" about being pregnant.. not sure if she is tryign to make it sound negative so that i think wow i'm lucky to be missing outon all that! not sure what her thought process is.. but i know to me it does seem insulting, i think be thankful for every discomfort and bout of nausea that pregnancy brings becuase what i would give to have all the things she is complaining about.. but i try to keep in mind that she just doesn't  understand how it feels to be going through all of this!