CANCELLED IVF NEED HELP UNDERSTANDING IT ALL PLEASE HELP

[pyar]

If anyone can help me understand this and advice me how to move forward i would appreciate it.
My story is i am 40 yrs old been ttc for almost two years I have one daughter from previous marriage.
I have been diagnosed DOR and pre-menapausal  i have had 3 iui's all unsucessful i was on a high dose of gonal 425mg although the docs didn't expect any response i did have between 2and3 follies each time.So then we went for ivf on a higher dose gonal f 525mg and menopur 75mg i went for my follie check u/s and there was nothing just one tiny follie on my right ovary which normally doesn't respond at all .All the doc told me was that with such a high dose the ovary probably just shut down they are not offering me any more treatment  or willing to try a different protocol apart from doner egg which just isn't for me my questions are
1-should i go to another clinic for a second opinion maybe a different protocol
2-i don't know if i started my meds on the right day af came slowly and i was suppose to start meds day2 but spotted one day and full flow in the evenig the day after so didn't count that as day1 because it was late in the eveningi counted the next day as day1 would that have made any difference
any help please i feel rather lost at the moment i really don't know what to do now is there no hope

[Leatha]

Oh yes, you are still grieving right now and you will need some time.  I needed two years of ttc on our own then 2 years of medical intervention treatments for me to realize that this was not going to happen with our chromosomes.  It is a huge thing to get your head around....take some time and go through the grieving and healing process and then look at your options again.  

I often wondered if I should have given it "one more kick at the can" so to speak but I just reviewed our IUI and IVF history and I just went ahead with this and voila first time with donor eggs I am pregnant.  But you have to do what is right for you and your family so get another opinion if you need to, do all your due dilegence, so it's all set in your head that you have done everything you can do to make it happen.  Good luck and keep in touch.

[pyar]

thank you i'm not totally ruling out donor eggs i just feel i need to totally exhaust every option with my own eggs with donor i know the baby will be bio my dh's but i can't get my head around that the baby would not be bio related to my dd and thats another huge reason for wanting baby number 2 i don't know its still early days i think the cancelled ivf is still too raw at the mo

[Leatha]

Hello. I can totally relate to what you are going through. It almost sounds like my history.  We have been through much the same experience as you, many IUI's and then on to IVF, the second IVF was downgraded to an IUI because there just weren't many folliciles....then that IUI failed.  It took me 9 months of ttc on our own again after that failed IVF before I turned to donor eggs.  I know you mentioned that wasn't the route for you and I know EXACTLY how you feel....I felt the same thing, I told my husband and my doctor that I wasn't about to use donor eggs....but that changed and here I am 4 weeks pregnant using donor eggs.  I tried for 4 years with my own eggs and then I went to the next level and was successful.

Now that being said I wouldn't rule out a second opinion.  You have to do what you feel necessary....definetly go find another clinic with a really good track record and see what they have to say.   Good luck to you and let us know how you made out.

[pyar]

thanx for you input

[robyn53]

WOW! lots going on for sure, but I think that you should get another opinion from another  clinic just to make sure you have used all of avenues that you can. Also because you will feel better knowing that you tried everything. I do not have 1 child yet and have had 1 failed IVF cycle just this past week and meeting the doc tomorrow to see what our next avenue is.
Do not give up yet.