Should I listen to my dreams?

[rghkah38]

Some of you know that my DH and I were debating whether to do ivf or donor.  The clinic told me that they were not getting any donations for donor and it would probably be awhile before they do.  After that conversation over a week ago, my DH and I were thinking that we would do one more ivf while we wait.  The thing that ***** about it is that it's very expensive.  
Last night I had a dream that my DH and I did ivf and it did not work.  None of the embryos made it to transfer.  The dream was so vivid that it's making me think.  I know this might sould weird, but I had dreams about my fertility before.  I didn't listen to them, which now I'm thinking I should of.  I had a dream during my 2nd ivf that I was pregnant 2 weeks before I took the beta test.  A week before I found out I had an ectopic pregnancy I had a dream that I was going to lose it. My Dh and I decided on doing one more ivf before my lap., when before starting my 6 ivf I had a dream that it did not work and that I ended up doing the lap. and they found something.  It's crazy because all these dreams were so clear, but I didn't take them very seriuosly.  Also, all the dreams that relates to my fertilty has come true so far.  Has this happen to anyone else?

[rghkah38]

Yes, that's what I thought about  the PGD test.

[Helen72]

If you only have few embryos PGD is not a good option.  You also need to have a day 5 transfer with PGD.

[rghkah38]

Right after my retrval I came home and laid down.  Laying in bed I felt like something was sitting on my chest and I had trouble breathing.  My DH took me to the hospital right away.  My blood presure was very low, so they did a cat scan because I did a retrival that day.  They found out that I was bleeding internally and so I was rushed to surgery where they did a laprotomy surgery. I also had a blood transfusion due to me losing a lot of blood.  Basically they told me I made it to the hospital in time.  The reason for all of this was that I had two cysts that ruptured.

[bny807]

i think that they can do PGD on 3 day, but i'm not sure about that.. i do know its SUPER expensive though, and may cause harm to the embie ( i think! - don't quote me on this!)    i'd defintely have them run the clotting/genetic tests on you and your dh... my RE does these on anyone who has had 2 or more mc or more than 2 failed IVF cycles.... they take a lot of blood, but its so worth it to maybe find some answers!!!  
  what happened last time??

[rghkah38]

Bny807- None of the test you mentioned was ever given to me.  My clinic does only a 3 day transfer would they still do a PGD test?

Helen72-Yes, the last one was very scary.  That's one of the reasons why I'm going back and forth with it.  My parents are very worried where they don't want me to do it because I almost lost my life last time.

[Helen72]

We never got a 7 cell embryo.  I guess a 5 or 6 cell worked for us (we will never know since we transferred one 6 and two 5 cell embryos, all fragmented).  W/o tubes you will not have an ectopic again.  I know it's a hard decision to make but w/o freezing your chances should be higher.  I just hope that you are safe if you go through another cycle.  Your last ivf try was so scary!!!

[bny807]

well i know that we have had a lot of decisions to make several times, and my dh always says there is no right answer, or correct way to proceed.. i am always making a list in my head, pros and cons etc.. but as he says there really typically isn't a right answer.. its impossible to know what will work, what the future holds.. so along with talking to your dr and an educated decision, factor some gut into it too, and it will be the right answer, no matter what! : )     Have yall done PGD? to see the quality of your eggs? and have yall done the genetic/clotting testing etc? GOOD LUCK! : )

[rghkah38]

Hi Helen,

I had 6 ivf cycles and all of them ended up not that good.  I wasn't getting the quality on quaanily.  I only got one 8 cell without fragmentations out of all 6 ivf's.  All the rest were 7 and below on day 3 and I never had any to freeze.  The last cycle we did the retrival and froze all of them, which only 2 made it to transfer on day 3.  I know it only takes one, but I went through so many ivf's all ready.  The question that I keep on asking myself is wheather it was my tubes and the lining that caused all my problems and if so I don't see why it can't work now.  I just will be so disapponted if it doesn't.

[Helen72]

How to proceed is an important decision.  I would not rely on dreams for that.  Rather, talk to your RE and find out what happened last time after your retrieval!  Make sure it will not happen again.  

Sorry about bad dreams but we all get them after several frustrating ttc years.

[rghkah38]

Thankyou bny807.  I just don't want to make bad decisions and I know it's hard to do.  You are right that we really can not predict the future.  I just want to feel like my old self before I started the whole fertility thing.

[bny807]

goodness, i don't think that i can answer this for ya, but i know for myself with all of this ttc stuff on my mind i have tons of very vivid dreams.. some true some not.. if your not having the fears in the forefront of your mind, i'm sure they are in the back of your mind (at least they are in mine!!) and the dreams are when those are going to surface... so it could just simply be your fears, and not have anything to do with predicting what may be.. that being said.. i'm a big believer in go with your gut.. typically i feel like i'm pretty right on with my gut.. however, we went forward with our last IUI cycle before our genetic testing was back, becuase i was so sure nothing would show up.. and well we got preg, miscarried (chem preg) and found out that in fact i do have a clotting/genetic disorder.. so its hard to say.. do what feels right for yourself and try to not have any regrets.. its just impossible to predict whats in the future with all this ttc stuff! GOOD LUCK!!!! there will be a light at the end!!! : )

[rghkah38]

Maybe I should start listening to my instincts and stop going back and forth with all of this.

It's just hard because I feel like I will never see the light at the end of the tunnal with all of this and it really depresses me.