Scared, hysterectomy recommended

[ZevasMom]

I am posting this here because I know many of you and appreciate your advice (I will post it in a few other forums also).  As many of you know, my mom passed away due to ovarian cancer (12-6-07).  I have a beautiful DD that was conceived via IVF, took lots of fertility meds.  I was with my mom during one of her consultations for OC.  Her oncologist asked mom about her daughters (there are 3 of us).  When I explained to the oncologist about my IVF and fertility meds, he looked me straight in the eyes and said, "When you are finished having children or before you are 40, get a hysterectomy, ovaries and all."  He was very concerned due to the fertility meds (although there are no foundations, no studies that link fertility meds to OC) and my mom's diagnosis.
I tried for FET, twice, both BFN.  During the 2nd FET attempt, the u/s tech noticed something on my left ovary (November 2007).  My RE didn't think anything of it.  I did.  I went back for a follow up u/s about 2 weeks ago (January 2008).  The u/s tech found a 2cm simple cyst on my left ovary (the same one as before) and a 3.5cm complex cyst on my right ovary (new find).  My OB/GYN wanted my RE to review the u/s notes.  My RE said that due to my family history he recommends a radical hysterectomy.  WHAT?!?!
Part of me was hoping for a "miracle" child sometime between now and 40... That won't happen.  My fears are: the surgery itself, hormones (I would much rather go a natural route), hair growth, hot flashes, sexual loss, etc.
I was just hoping that one of you might know something about this topic and have some much needed words of advice.

Thank you cyber sisters :o)

[ZevasMom]

grammy64 - thank you for your comments :o)
milky/alikat - I am strongly thinking about a second opinion... I just can't get my mom's gyn oncologist words out of my head... especially the look on his face...
SScientist - good news would be, no more periods... Thanks for the funny comment, made me smile... I never thought about keeping the uterus though... why not?... Hmmm, thanks for bringing that up, definately something I will have to talk with the RE about :o)
Love ya'll!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[tina1111]

Oh Noel! That is terrible news. My heart is breaking for you! Can't they do an aspiration on the complex cyst and run a biopsy to see if it is an issue? Fertility meds are so notorious for the darn things. I definitely would get a 2nd opinion b4 going through such a life altering surgery. Zeva is such a doll baby and I know how badly you and dh want a brother or sister for her. I pray that it is just a cyst and you can continue the ttc journey. I would definitely want to know if the cyst is just a cyst or something more b4 making that decision. ((((((huge hugs))))))

[SDScientist]

My mom had a hysterectomy at 28.  The only thing they left was the one ovary she had.  She did go through a menopause like condition when she had the hysterectomy (so she says) and then menopause hit her full force at a few years ago at 50.  But if you do have the ovaries removed then some sort of menopause is going to be expected.  I think the severity differs by woman.
Fears (this is going to be funny,sarcastic and TMI and an effort to cheer you up): Surgery...they are all scary, I'll give you that, but an ovary, tubes and uterus have to weigh something...think of it as internal lipo. Hormones...Woman you have been through multiple IVF cycles it is just going be like a long cycle. Hair growth...my Mom has never had a mustache, been able to braid her leg or armpit hair and her eyebrows never did grow back from the high school torture of plucking.  Hot flashes...there are lots of supplements to help with this nowadays or find a local friend that owns a florist so you can stop by the walk-in fridge...yes my mom did this.  Sexual loss...my stepdad is openly a horndog and he has no complaints with my Mom so clearly all is fine in that department (the TMI part).  Okay I'll stop now.  
Seriously though, if you are not ready to give up on the idea of having more children then don't do it just yet, but get regular check ups on those ovaries.  Another thought...can they take your ovaries and leave your uterus?  That way if you ever decide you want to try again with donor embryos you have the uterus?  Apparently our uterus is good for quite some time. :)  

[alikat1205]

I would ask for a second opinion, and what about a biopsy to see what exactly is going on?  

[miky72]

I'm so sorry about what you are going through.
Its seems such a radical decision.I do not have stories to share but
can you ask for a second opinion?

[grammy64]

My mom had a hysterectomy (everything) at 44.  My best friend had one and left her ovaries in at 42.  Both said it was the best thing they ever did, but my friend who left in the ovaries wished she had had those taken too as it would be much less worry as it is one less thing to think could turn cancerous. My cousin had her hys last year at 31 and has had no s/e.  

I went thru menopause at 38.  I can tell you that the hot flashes are not fun, but other than insomnia, I dont have the other stuff and dont take replacement.  I think no matter what all people are different and the s/e could happen if you have a hys or just natural menopause (at any age obviously).  

I just wanted to comment as I always thought all the horrible s/e were a given, and they are not.  I hope you make a decision that gives you peace of mind with all you have been thru recently.  

Lori