More bad news, How can I relax??

[jdealeja]

Just got my bloodwork back and once again, it was negative. We were really hopeful this month because I had produced 4 eggs (which was a lot for me) and we did an IUI.  Now we are going to all injectibles for the next cycle. We don't know what's wrong and all I find myself doing is worrying and stressing my inability to reproduce. Feeling really down on myself and apparently I'm not that fun to hang around these days.
My mother and husband both think the stress is playing a part in all of this and keep telling me to "Just try to relax", which as you all know, is very hard to do if not impossible.
Does anyone have any suggestions about how to relax or take my mind off of all of this???

Thanks!!!

[jdealeja]

Dear 40smama, What a great idea!  I am constantly amazed by all of the amazing women on this site who are helping me and others get through all of this. You are an inspiration! Thanks :)

[40smama]

jdealja - I totally get where you're coming from, bless your heart.  When I was going through my ttc/tww after IVF, my daughter made me a visualization board as per "The Secret".  She also taught me some visualization techniques from the book/movie.  The board consisted of cut-out pics of pregnant women, babies of all ages, even small children playing in the yard.  There were also pics of people interacting w/the babies.  Anyway, the visualization technique she taught me was closing my eyes & relaxing and then visualizing certain things like the nurse calling me up and giving me happy news, seeing the word "pregnant" on a hpt, holding a baby, giving birth, etc.

The other thing that helped:  right after we got some sad news fertility related, this animal shelter called us and said that they had a dog they were about to euthanize and would we like to see him?  Of course we did and fell in love w/our Max, a giant schnauzer.  I focused on taking care of him (he's quite a handful) & it really helped.

These are just small things that helped relieve the stress for me - I wish you so much luck for your next cycle - take care, jen

[jdealeja]

Great words of advice. You are so right. I have it so good in so many ways. Thank you!!!

[MiracleOfLife]

I completely understand what you are going through! I get very frustrated, angry and irritated at the end of my tww but even now cd2 I can't seem to be able to get it out of my head.
But one thing I always try to do is concentrate on what I value and am grateful for in my life. For example, DH. Yes, he has no clue what is going on with our body and mind, but he is there for me, cheering me up and we are going through this together. I can not afford to be miserable and bitchy with him, because he is my best friend. Without him all this would be meaningless. And I have girlfriends that not only have fertility issues, but they do not have a DH or a permanent bf! Can you imagine how that feels?
I made a habit of focusing on good things, it takes a lot of strength, but once you get it down it is like a snow ball - you start noticing it everywhere, especially in the people around you. I read an expression somewhere - There is no way to happiness, happiness is the way... It is so true. This struggle will make you stronger.
Thank you for sharing your story. I wish you only the best!!! BFP your way!!!

[jdealeja]

Thanks. I will try the book!

[mamom15]

Sorry to about the bad news but as happilymarried said, this is one thing we have no control over.  It is very frustrating and the 2ww is the worst.  Yes, my husband has no clue what I am going through.  Must be a man thing.  He does not have to take Chlomid, shots and mentally prepare for IVF.  Yoga and accu helps me.  Try reading this book - Healing Mind Healthy Woman, that book has helped me with breathing techniques etc.  

We are all here for you and completely understand what you are going through

[jdealeja]

Thanks for the support. And good luck to you! I understand what you mean that it's all you can think about. And you're right, our husbands have no idea what it's like and you'd think they'd be even more helpless and frustrated at times because they don't know what we're physically going through. Anyway, good luck and I'll be thinking about you! Let us know how it goes!!

[happilymarried1]

Oh, so sorry to hear about the bad news. I think everyone faces that feeling (and outcome sometimes) in each of our situations. One thing that is true (may not make it any easier to deal with though) is that it is really out of your hands. Let go and let God...in the meantime, try reading or exercising to keep your mind off stressing and focusing on something more postitive. It isn't easy...

I just had my embryo transfer last Friday (3 embryos transferred) and don't get my blood work done until next Tuesday. I'm on pins & needles and feel like it's the only thing I can think about. First thing when I wake-up, before I go to bed, throughout the day (am not very productive at work either)...

I just wish you much luck going forward and know that only someone going through the same thing can relate to how you are feeling. Our husbands have no idea what it's like...