update on appointment yesterday

[ALT76]

What a day yesterday!  It sucked WAY more than I anticipated!  So I have to drive an hour to my OBGYN.  I've still been having these stabbing pains that radiate from my pelvis and seem to shift whenever I shift.  They shoot down one leg, then the other, then out my lower back....extremely uncomfortable.  So I'm all excited that they bumped up my appt so I can finally get this resolved cuz I'm going crazy about it and want my pain to stop.  Well, I make it to the examining room and before I can even get undressed they come rushing back to say that my doctor just had to leave to go deliver a baby.  So they wanted me to go back to the waiting room.  I waited there for TWO hours - in an uncomfortable chair with these pains shooting down my legs and out my lower back.  Lets just say it was not helping the situation!  After two hours he came back and they took me back in.  When I was taken out of the waiting room, there was only one woman ahead of me, so I figured it would be about 10-15 minutes.  I sat in there on that cold table, half undressed and in pain for another HOUR before he came in!  After 45 minutes I found a gown and went outside and asked if they forgot about me.  She said there was a "prenatal emergency" who had come in because she was "leaking fluid".  I saw that girl in the waiting room - she did not look the least bit worried, stressed or anxious.  I was in PAIN and no one would help me.  It just reaffirmed my theory that if you are not pregnant in these places you are dirt - in pain or not, still dirt.  I spent that last half hour fighting back the tears the whole time.

Then he comes in, and is obviously SOOO rushed because at this point the office should've closed and all his staff is hanging around for him to finish appt's.  I was all prepared with my questions and to schedule the surgery, and then I was thrown for a complete loop!  Turns out the cyst is GONE!!  Apparently when I was calling them and begging them for pain pills this weekend (which they wouldn't give me and just told me to go to my second home, the ER) it must've ruptured.  It's funny, because I've had 7 ruptures and this was not quite as painful - but I had been bleeding so I guess I just assumed it was the horrific menstrual cramps I always get.  

So on one side that is VERY good news - I am absolutely ecstatic that I don't have to deal with surgery....yet.  On the other hand, I still went home in tears.  Why?  Because he said that this thing must have ruptured shortly after I saw him, because there was almost no free fluid left.  Which means the pain should be just about resolved by now.  I assumed the pain down my legs was from the cyst putting pressure on a nerve.  With no cyst.... why is there still pain?  And it's not the kind of pain that would be caused by just absorbing the cyst.  When I asked him why I was still in excrutiating pain as we spoke at that moment, his only response was "Oh, it's probably JUST your endometriosis coming back".  Oh - JUST my endometriosis...huh?  And he gave me back all of my blood work, saying it matched what they typically see with PCOS.  

It was kind of like I had originally gone in there last Thurs, assuming the pain was from my endo coming back and my hormones were all screwy from my pcos acting up.  It was almost as if the cyst, even though it would've been difficult to remove and was scary, was sort of a more immediate and "easier" to deal with solution to my problems - get rid of cyst - presto chango!  No more pain down my legs and my hormones would go back to normal.  It was like I had all that worry over the weekend and came to terms with everything, when in reality I was right from the start.  The pain IS from the endo and my hormones ARE all f'd up right now!  

I feel really silly still crying over this now that I don't need surgery - you'd think I'd be so happy!  But all he ended up doing is what every other doctor has done - throw some painkillers at me and send me on my way.  Offer for me to take the BCP and said "if you're periods are still giving you this much trouble in the future, come see me and we'll have to go back in and deal with the endo"  Oh, I'm sure doctor that this is a one time thing and I'll be JUST FINE in the future!!!  Idiot!  

He practically had his hand on the door knob the ENTIRE time he was with me!  He looked at that u/s for 2 seconds!  I made him show me my ovary because he literally only had looked at it for a second when he was like "it's gone!"  I believed him after he showed me, but I think he had that probe in me for under 45 seconds.  I asked him why I barely bled and what the status was of my endometrium.  All he would say is "it's thinner" - well of course it's THINNER you dip$hit!  I have been bleeding a little - just not enough!!!  It was 1.8cm thick on Thurs!  I didn't even need a tampon for the 2 days I did bleed and a pad lasted all day!  It doesn't take a rocket scientist to know that it all didn't come out!  

Sorry, I guess I've said enough - just venting.  Overall I'm back to square one, and the pain is still here, and I'm still barely spotting - which is extremely unusual for me.  And my hormones are having an f'ing circus inside me, so my emotions are equally circus like!  Woohoo!

[Houston79]

Wow. You've really be through a lot! I'm surprised you're sane.  Insurance is the key when looking for a doc.  I thought we'd be stuck because I thought the two REs in my town didn't accept our ins. but it turns out one will courtesy bill.  That is such a pain, but better than nothing.  Hey-I will keep you in my prayers-i just really feel for you!  And where is that cute little white puppy you have?  I just love that picture (not that your dress isn't adorable!).   take care!

[ALT76]

thanks ladies - today has been tough for me but I'll get through it.  I just feel like there is no hope for my physical pain and it is really depressing.  Today I read about all of this cutting edge stuff with endometriosis - a special film/gel they can use during the surgery to help prevent more scar tissue from forming, but I just feel like you need to be near NYC or Chicago or some major city to be near a Dr. who specializes in endometriosis, much less both that AND pcos.  I live in the sticks with crappy doctor after crappy doctor.  And after switching doctors umpteen times in the past 2 years, the thought of switching AGAIN and having another intake appt and starting over AGAIN is even more depressing...  So then I tried to find an endocrinologist for my PCOS.  I googled it and something came up on the soulcysters website about any in the Syracuse area that specialize in PCOS.  Out of the 4 mentioned/recommended by other users, one came up on my insurance website and I got SOOO excited.  Then I called the ins. co. and he is not covered under my particular plan.  :o(  back to square one...

P.S. - wanting4#1 - I think that is a great idea!

[miky72]

I'm so sorry for what you are going through.
I understand that you want to wait and see what happens with your Dr but he should have give you more attention especially knowing that you were in pain and you waited for so long.
Keep us posted and take care of yourself.

[scienceteacher79]

I am so sorry sweetie. When it rains, it freaking pours huh? I understand your frustration with docs and nurses. They complain about their jobs too - then GET OUT OF THE MEDICAL FIELD! Hell, if I would have had the money - I would have gone to med school. I hope and pray you can find another OB that is more personable and can actually act like they give a flying crappppp! HUGS and snuggles! We are here - just keep venting. And if I were you - I would right a LONG drawn out HAND WRITTEN LETTER to the doc before you switch practices or docs again - just to let him know why you are leaving. They need to know what they are doing to patients!

HUGS and GL!!

Jen

[wanting4#1]

I just wanted to tell you how sorry I am that you are having to go through this!  I think that we need to start a National TTC Day for all of us ttc'ers and we get to go to the front of the line in any store, office or appointment that we have; we get to eat all the stuff that we want and drink as much coffee and caffeine as we want; we get to have NO worries for a day - no charting, temping, touching, checking, NADA; we get to have our feet rubbed, backs massaged, toes painted, hair done, and treated like the royalty that we are! I am tired of being treated like a second-class citizen!!

Big {{HUGS}}

[ALT76]

This is my fourth OBGYN in a year and a half!  I am certainly not above switching.  The problem is, when I started with him, only about 4 months ago, he was actually not very busy at all.  His practice is just him and this other doctor.  I saw a letter posted that this doctor is retiring in December - so I'm sure my doc is absorbing all of this patients.  On the sign-in sheet you have to check who you are there to see, and all but two were for my doc.  I used to get appt's no problem.  I'm hoping they are going to bring someone else in to help.  In the past he has actually been very attentive and used to take me into his office afterwards and talk to me extensively (he talked to me for about 45 minutes at my intake appt!) - so I'm hoping this is just a transition period and if I hang in there it will get better.  I'm not super confident in him as a doctor - but no more confident than I've been in any of the other 3 I had.  What I LOVE about him is that he will give me an u/s on the spot, done by him, and tell me what he sees.  That is really crucial for me.  All my other docs I'd have to wait 2 weeks (even if I was in pain) to sched the u/s, and then come back ANOTHER 10+ days later to get the results.  Meanwhile that's 3 copays, and a lot of time in pain.  I also see him every time - there are no NP's or anything like that - which is more than I can say for my last doc.  I almost never got to see her.

[hannah1505]

awww im so sorry i wish u all my luck in the world my thoughts are with u i know how u feel my doctor brushes me of because of my age never gives me chance to ask questions she asks if i have a job if we got our own place are we sure we want a baby im like well think about it a yr on no baby always pestering u I THINK SO! and as for having jobs we have good ones but what as it got to do with her i pay her she shu do her job arrrrggggh! how they go home and sleep at nyt i dont no they leave it work we are the ones who have to take it home SORRY just makes me mad xxxxx good luck xxxxx

[Houston79]

I'm so sad to hear this!  I'm sorry you do not have the pain issue resolved. Yet I am glad you don't have to have surgery.  Its so hard when the doc is rushed (the whole hand on the doorknob thing made me mad).  So where does this put you in the realm of ttc?  I mean, don't they need to take care of the endo first?  Do you have another doc you can see?  Switching docs for me was the best thing because my other one was so busy and rushed all the time.  This new doctor listens and calls me and is just more attentive.  

I'll keep you in my thoughts and prayers-I really feel for you during all of this.  I'm glad they spared your ovary!  My bf lost her ovary at age 24(endo) and she is holding on dearly to the other one.  
Big HUGS!