failed donor egg cycle

[redhead68]

2010 - 2 IVF's with own eggs both implanted and had chemical miscarriage. Last month proceeded to DE cycle and failed completely. I respond very well to meds, all hormone levels are normal through process. I am 43, husband 48 we are both in good health. Are there many failed DE cycles???

[Leatha]

I know all to well what that island feels like.  I know what it feels like to spend all that money and come away empty handed.  That dreaded AF had come again.  BUT I also know what it is like to find success.  I went through everything starting from IUI then moved up to IVF then finally went the DE route.  Had a total of 7 eggs take, transferred two and had one beautiful son.  

You are the only ones that can make that choice whether or not to repeat that next step again, only you will know when you have had enough.  My thoughts are with you but like mhv said don't give up.  I would love to see everyone here achieve their dreams of having a family.

[mhv]

Ladies, I swore I would be stranded on nobaby island forever, but I never gave up, and now have 3 month old twins.  We ended up using donor embryos,and finally achieved our dreams.  Please, don't give up!!!!

[babyhope40527]

Sailing with you on the same boat here. 3 OWN egg cycles failed and 1 donor egg cycle failed recently. There are 2 embryos left, but am not sure of the success. It s a million dollar question why would a donor egg also fail?? when uterus and wall are fine.

Kellykira - well said island and infertility comparison, sometimes it does feel like i may remain on nobaby island forever.

[Kellykira]

I feel your pain.

I once read an article that said that experiencing infertility is like being on an island. It seems everyone around you keeps catching the ferry called "motherhood" off the island, but you continue to be stuck on it. Those on the ferry are lucky and those who got to go on the ferry "by accident" or "after the first try" have no idea what it's like to be missing the boat every time. They ask questions like, "Have you thought of adoption?" or "Lots of people don't have kids, have you considered that?". They say things like, "Just relax and it will happen" or "just get drunk - it worked for us!" Not seeming to realize that they break our hearts a little more than they have been broken already by these insensitive responses to our situation.

We haven't done donor eggs yet, but we are considering it. We're just not sure we can go through it. We've been trying for 8 years to conceive. First we were told my husband had a sperm count of zero. After a painful biopsy, they found that his sperm were not "mature" and could not produce a child. He tried acupuncture for a year with no result. I was apparently "fine", so after tears and much soul searching, we decided to try a donor sperm. We did the home insemination program. No result. Then a few rounds of IUI. Nothing. Then, finally, IVF. I didn't respond very well to the meds, but the result was 3 "perfect" embryos. Fresh transfer of first two, nothing. FET = nothing. Saved up money, again to try one more time. Only produced 2 eggs this time and they both died and wouldn't fertilize. Doctor says my best option is using a donor egg (and, ofcourse, donor sperm).

Now the struggle is, after spending over $30,000 already, with NOTHING in our bank and our life savings totally gone, do we spend the next $20,000++ for another "MAYBE"? Can we go through this again?

I know nobody can answer this but us...but sometimes it helps to share the pain.

Thanks for listening.

[mhv]

I am sorry to hear about your situation.  That really blows!! Did ccrm have any answers as to what happened??  You said you,had surgery to correct the shape of your uterus?  What kind of surgery was that?  

I hope you don't give up on your dream.  I know how down you can get, I have been there.  As you see from above.  I hope you don't give up.

[kerrimick]

I have now failed two IVF's with donor eggs from the best clinic in the country, CCRM.  We have no more embryo's left and I am now faced with accepting I will never be a mother & never be pregnant.  While I am appreciative that we had the opportunity to try, it is unbelievable to me that it didn't work, since the quickest assumption when our other three IVF's didn't work is because of the quality of my eggs. (Oh, add to that two IUI's)  These embryo's were excellent quality too.  And the clinic insisted we have surgery to correct the shape of my uterus.  So if you are doing your math and calculating the whole deal, make sure you add the travel, rental car, hotel, and missed work.  

Why don't we consider adoption you ask? (Which I can't believe anyone in our boats would be insensitive to ask that) Because I can't (our marriage can't) handle any more rejection and failure.  I can't put my future in the hands of a 16 year old who may or may not pick us based on some obscure requirement in her mind.  Or God forbid, may or may not decide to keep it at the last minute when we've thought FINALLY we are getting to be parents.  NOPE, can't handle it.  I would not consider myself a weak person by any means but sometimes our hearts and hopes can only take so much.

Sorry to go on, but it's fresh.  Blood test was Saturday and I am still in a state of shock and waking up in the middle of the night to the truth and not able to get back to sleep.  Thanks for listening and I am so sorry for all of your losses.  Ain't fair is it?