Aa
surrogate
I'm so confused and sad. My sil told me she would be a surrogate for me, yesterday at a family. My dh and i can't believe she has offered to do such a wonderful thing for us. We are going to go to see them this week to thank them and to tell them we really want to keep going on our own right now. I am going to be doing iui soon, if that doesn't work them we will try it again. Then onto ivf , my dh and i have talked and decided that if we are down too the last 2 embies we will have to really think about the offer because we can't afford to do this anymore financially and most of all emotionally. We have been through 3 years of this rat race, 1 iui, 1 ivf and 2 fet. It's too much.
We are worried about them more than ourselves, they have 2 kids. a 8 and a 4 yr old. Would they understand that mum has a baby in her tummy for so long and gives it too their aunt and uncle? Also how would my sil carry this baby for 9 months then give it up? It's not like she is never going to see it again. My bil too could he handle it?
As for me would i be able to have someone as close to me carry my baby? and would my dh be ok with his brothers wife carrying his baby?
God i'm tied in knots, i'm so confused, dh and i want them to know how grateful we are, but we don't want to do it right now. I need to keep going until we can't anymore.
I need some opinion's ladies, what do you think?
We are worried about them more than ourselves, they have 2 kids. a 8 and a 4 yr old. Would they understand that mum has a baby in her tummy for so long and gives it too their aunt and uncle? Also how would my sil carry this baby for 9 months then give it up? It's not like she is never going to see it again. My bil too could he handle it?
As for me would i be able to have someone as close to me carry my baby? and would my dh be ok with his brothers wife carrying his baby?
God i'm tied in knots, i'm so confused, dh and i want them to know how grateful we are, but we don't want to do it right now. I need to keep going until we can't anymore.
I need some opinion's ladies, what do you think?
Hi,
I have a gestational carrier (surrogate) that is now 17 weeks pregnant. It is a HUGE decision, but I can tell you that for us, it was the right decision. My gc has a 4 year old and a 2 year old. The 4 year old knows the babies are ours. She always points to her mother's tummy and say's "ian and carisa's babies." She's fine with it, and the 2 year old doesn't know any different yet. I really think it depends on the family. My gc assured me before we began this whole process that she would not get attatched to the baby(ies) because she would know right from the start that they were ours. So far, that has been very true. She calls me constantly to tell me what she is feeling, how the babies are, etc. You have to remember too that if your SIL offered, then her and her husband have probably talked about all of these issues thoroughly and are just fine with it. My gc is actually my old boss, I think she is having almost as much fun with all of this as I am.
I understand completely you wanting to try and exhaust all of your other options, ivf, etc, before considering this option. I just wanted you to know that it worked for me and I am grateful everyday. Good luck to you. Feel free to send me a personal message anytime if you ever want to know any more.
I have a gestational carrier (surrogate) that is now 17 weeks pregnant. It is a HUGE decision, but I can tell you that for us, it was the right decision. My gc has a 4 year old and a 2 year old. The 4 year old knows the babies are ours. She always points to her mother's tummy and say's "ian and carisa's babies." She's fine with it, and the 2 year old doesn't know any different yet. I really think it depends on the family. My gc assured me before we began this whole process that she would not get attatched to the baby(ies) because she would know right from the start that they were ours. So far, that has been very true. She calls me constantly to tell me what she is feeling, how the babies are, etc. You have to remember too that if your SIL offered, then her and her husband have probably talked about all of these issues thoroughly and are just fine with it. My gc is actually my old boss, I think she is having almost as much fun with all of this as I am.
I understand completely you wanting to try and exhaust all of your other options, ivf, etc, before considering this option. I just wanted you to know that it worked for me and I am grateful everyday. Good luck to you. Feel free to send me a personal message anytime if you ever want to know any more.
That is a nice generous offer, and like you said, there are questions she need to answer herself. I dont no, im not sure if i could do it, its something about being pregnant that makes you feel gr888888888. Then just to be handed a baby and say here you go, this is yours. I guess you would experience what the men expeerience. That would have to be a supper supper last resort for me. Good luck with ttc, i hope you get preggo and not have to look for a surrogate
Oh, wow! That's quite an offer...but I also understand your hesitation. Maybe you can tell them that you're very touched that they offered to to this for you and your DH, and that you might take them up on their offer at a later point; but right now, you've already committed to a treatment plan with your RE, and that you would like to try this first before considering their offer. I'm sure they will understand...
Take care, Anne!
Take care, Anne!
Thanks ladies i really appreciate your opinion's. I'm just really nervous about our visit, i don't want to offend them.
Wow what a great offer, but we totallyunderstand you might want to give yourself some time and try on your on before taking that step. I know how you feel this is a long and bumpy road, and sometiems we feel lost and we want to give up.
Right now I feel the same way, confuse and troubled, but remember you need to give yourself all the oportunities you can. Go through your IUI and then do IVF if you can, and then take your sister in law offer as a last resource.
Hope this help.
Right now I feel the same way, confuse and troubled, but remember you need to give yourself all the oportunities you can. Go through your IUI and then do IVF if you can, and then take your sister in law offer as a last resource.
Hope this help.
Your desire to carry your own child to term is biological and totally natural. I am sure your SIL will understand that. So, accept their offer but only if you run out of all other options. It's very nice of them to offer and I am glad you have plan B.
I hope that your plan A will work though.
I hope that your plan A will work though.
What a very generous, caring and wonderful offer from your SIL. I can completely understand the full range of emotions you must be feeling! You pose some really good questions...could she really give up the baby? How would her children react? How would her DH handle it? I think those are questions that SHE needs to be prepared to answer before the offer can be taken further. I wish I had more advice for you...I guess the bigger picture is how thankful you should feel to have supportive family...even though the idea poses so many unknowns! I will pray for you and your husband that it can happen on your own and you won't have to face those hard questions. :)
What a very generous, caring and wonderful offer from your SIL. I can completely understand the full range of emotions you must be feeling! You pose some really good questions...could she really give up the baby? How would her children react? How would her DH handle it? I think those are questions that SHE needs to be prepared to answer before the offer can be taken further. I wish I had more advice for you...I guess the bigger picture is how thankful you should feel to have supportive family...even though the idea poses so many unknowns! I will pray for you and your husband that it can happen on your own and you won't have to face those hard questions. :)
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