Depression

[Harlo79]

I had extreme pancreatitis in April 2018 along with septic shock and total kidney failure and should by all accounts be dead. I was read last rights and my parents were basically told I would not make it through the night. I miracously made a full recovery after pt due to not being able to walk after a month long stay 12 days of which in a
medically induced coma. The severity of the situation I think now is finally hitting me and feel I am sinking into a depression. I drank 2 weeks ago a bender of 4 days and had two ER visits due to mild abdominal pain and paranoia. I should be happy I'm basically on borrowed time now but the opposite is the case I am 38 years old....not a question just venting seeking support