Can't feel better

[Betty64]

Need to chat about my mother's death on Jan 13.  I can't move on and am very upset all the time

[ShellyG411]

Hi Betty,

I know exactly how you feel. I lost my mother to congestive heart failure on the 07th of March. She died holding my hand. She was only 56. My father passed away a number of years ago, and while I have no brothers or sisters, I am getting good support from close friends. I find weekends very hard, mainly because being at home from work gives us more time to think!
All I can do is hope and pray that there will be better days for us all!!

[CA1027]

My Mom also died recently on Feb 14 2010 and I am feeling very sad and lonely.
The grief seems to get especially bad on the weekends and I know I am engaging in some unproductive coping behaviors .
My husband died 3 years ago and I was just moving my life forward again and now I feel set backwards.
My experience tells me that all the feelings we are having are part of the normal process but that sure does not make it hurt less.
What helped me in the past was to get focused on some goals that I wanted to accomplish but I am just not to that point yet.
anyway just to say to you I know it hurts and it will get better but will take time and there is no schedule for each of us it is alike in some ways and different in some ways.
Things are not normal but eventually a new normal will evolve.
CA1027

[Judy246]

Thank you Trish, what is interesting is that my father and I are Christians, but the rest of the family are luke warm. I have a sister who is a Doctor and one who is a Nurse Practioner and they had to seek therapy, but God is my strength and I call myself a survior. I have a wonderful supportive fiance who loss his father 2 weeks after my mother, so we cried and fell apart in each other's arms. My brother married and a week later my mother died in my arms, a week later her brother in law died from complications from surgery, a week later, my fiance's father died whom I loved, this one was exceptionally hard on my since they had just buried my mom and her brother in law, 3 weeks later, a dear friend died in the same hospital, room and bed as my mother, when I went to visit her, I fell apart, because it was the same bed as my mom, a week later my mother's best friend who attended her wake and burial died of cancer and she kept it quite, so no one knew she was dying. I comforted her in my mom's wake, at her funeral I fell apart, a month later, another dear friend's wife passed away, another funeral and 2 weeks before Christmas, my brother and wife loss their first baby. I loss my job and my beautiful doggie child Toby died of a sudden heart attack, he was only 10. I felt lik "Job" from the bible being tested, it brought me to my knees. I became physically sick, my throat started to swell when I grieved and felt as if I was choaking....all this in 8 months and I'm still job hunting, but I'm a survivor, because God gave me great strength when I felt I wanted to die. What I have learned is death can never take our love ones away from our hearts and we must have faith that one day in God's time and after we live our our life journey, we will see them again. Thank you for the kind words and I'm here to just talk. It does help, but death is cruel and it's a very difficult journey. Hugs, Judy

[trish934]

Hi judy, i really feel for you and to some extent understand your pain, loosing two was hard but seven gosh! that is difficult. And even in the face of adversity you have been so strong more than you know it. Some people might have became mentally ill with this amount of tragedies. Are you seeking therapy it just might help, seeing so much you've been through! God indeed enfolds us with his love and compassion in these time and brings us to a new level in him. I am very happy to hear he's helping you through this, he's the best. Still know we're here for you anytime ok and you will get a job sooner than you know it, maybe you just need some time away from the hustle and bustle.

manyhugs.....to you...keep the faith

[Judy246]

I had 7 deaths in 8 months, which included mother, week later brother in law, week later fiance's father (my wedding was postpone), mom's best friend who attended her wake and burial and I comforted died suddenly 4 months after she died and my brother, mom's only son loss his first child 2 weeks before Christmas. I loss my job and my beautiful doggie child Toby died of a heart attack (i say broken heart), death brought me to my knees and I was almost hopitalized, because I was soooo grief strickened that my throat began to swell dangerously, once almost shut. I wanted to die too. I would go visit my mom's grave and fall to my knees and wail in grief and spiritual pain all alone in the cemetary crying out for her and I have survived. God gave me the inner strenght to get right back up with a broken heart, but I felt his strength within me. It has been a life changing journey, but life has a way of falling into place and there is a season for everything...I'm living proof. I will grieve and call out for my mom forever, but at least I am moving forward oh so very slowly. Judy

[trish934]

hi Judy,

Though i may not know what its like to loose a parent. I lost my two brothers five months apart and one was also my twin. I know i can tell you all words of sympathy that my heart longs to say but, sometimes only time seems to heal and we are all here to support you through this grief period. Oh! sweetheart just keep sending your post if not me, someone will respond. You can also check a grief counselor to help get through this tough period of your life.

how sweet shadow ;) your mom' s name and Judy's the same.

[shadow321]

Hi Betty,

I too know the pain of losing your mother. My mother passed suddenly on Aug. 25, 2008 and my father also passed suddenly on June 23, 2009. While my father was not in great health to begin with, I truly believe he died of a broken heart and just wanted to be with my mom. Judy says it so eloquently when she says, "a part of my heart has died with her and there isn't one single day that I don't miss and yearn for my beautiful mom". I couldn't have said it better.

Hopefully you have a support network of friends and family but I did find the most helpful, at least for me, was just talking to people who had also experienced the loss of a parent. It is not until one loses a parent that they can really understand the magnitude of this loss.

When you are ready to talk, know that there are people ready to listen.

P.S Judy...my mom's name was "Judy";-)

[Judy246]

Hi Betty,

I would love to just talk with you on what's going on in your life. As yourself, I know the pain of losing your mother. My mother died in my arms July 19, 2007 and i will never be the same. A part of my heart has died with her and there isn't one single day that I don't miss and yearn for my beautiful mom. Did she pass this Jan 13? Please respond, because I would just like to talk and listen to you. Judy