Dealing with death for first time 2X

[LukeL]

I am 23 years old and for the first time in my life someone close to me has died. Back on April 13th of last year (it was a friday) I found out my dad had cirrhosis and only 6 months to 1 year to live. The next day I discovered a good friend from highschool had died on the very same day.

She always went out of her way to say hi and make me feel special, I do not know if she was just being nice or if it went deeper.  She was also the only girl to ever really talk to me and in someway just a few kind words from her could brighten up my day.

While I am dealing with this, I am taking care of my father who is basically on a path to self destruction with his continued drinking. He died on August 14th of last year and it seems I have been blocking all of this out untill now.

I was wondering what some of you, who have dealt with this would reccomend I do.

[red_1986]

Hey I am very sorry to hear about your situation I lost my brother August 8th 2004 and it was the hardest thing I have dealt with I have had so many deaths close to me. I am suprised I am still alive everybody I love seems to die their are 5 stages to Grief Acceptance is the 5th so you seem to understanding now, counsling helps Grief supports groups just remembering the person and foucusing on the good times is a blessing. I got on drugs very badly, I am now a recoverying addict. I delayed dealing for as long as possible (years), It is so hard but God does do everything for his divine purpose, and just know your loved one is with him there isn't any pain or tears in heaven, God Bless You. Grief also comes in waves so it will always come and go you will deal with it in your own unique style. Good Luck.

[ParamedFlorena]

Today, there are incredibly many advice on how to grieve "correct" but the only correct way is YOUR personal way. It was you who lost someone, you who knew the person - your personal memories and thoughts.
I like the suggestion jml1986 give: One second at a time.

Let yourself start on the easy things, continue with the difficult ones and the impossible will solve too.

Allow yourself to unblock your thoughts. They are there for a reason. Let yourself cry if that is what you'd like to do!

Florena

[jml1986]

We all grieve at our own time and in our own way. There is no right or wrong way, and there is not time line. It is something that you will do when you are ready and it will last as long as needs to to get you through it. The only way I know how to do it is one second at a time. Shower cries were really good for me, and talking. I needed to talk, and I needed people to listen. I did not care if it made them uncomfortable because I was hurting. Eventuallly you will start feeling better. But don't try to rush it, it will happen when the time is right.