Just this 9th of October, I had undergone C-section and my baby was taken out at 32 weeks of pregnancy. The doctors cannot detect anymore her heartbeat and my body is not anymore responding to all medicines/shots to control my blood pressure. I was diagnosed with preeclampsia just last 4th of October after few days of BP monitoring and Urinalysis. I am taking medication to control my BP starting October 3, and noticed that my baby is not as active as she was in the past weeks and I got worried that she is affected by the meds Im taking. I returned to my OB October 5th and mentioned everything to her. She got worried but after checking on my BP 110/90 at that time and my baby's fetal heart rate at 144/min, everything was normal. I got relieved. In the afternoon of October 8, I felt my head is aching and feeling dizzy, my BP was 150/120. I went to the hospital that evening just to check on my BP again, but everything happened so fast. I got confined due to high BP, and then the next day, I delivered my baby. She was found to have cord coil tied on her neck and it was really heartbreaking.. our first baby left us I wasnt even able to hold her in my arms. It's a very traumatic experience for me that we dont know how to start all over again. We love her so dearly that everything was so perfectly planned, all her stuffs are complete we are just waiting for hr arrival. What we did not plan is the funeral of our little angel. Oh the pain in my heart is excruciating that Im now scared to have another child. I miss talking to my baby and feeling her move in my tummy. I just missed her so much. I just cant help but ask the Lord, why did this happen? Why did my baby left me.
If you are religious, your church or pastor may be able
to tell you about grief groups for parents or your OBGYN
may be able to tell you about Grief groups also...
The important thing is to get your feelings out either
by talking or writing, and the groups are free and
you will be with other parents who know exactly what
you are going through...
Again, you have my condolences, I don't know of anything
harder to heal from than losing a baby....
God Bless You
M