Lost my Mom

[J_1113]

Hi everyone.  I'm posting here because I'm confused and don't know how to handle this.  I lost my Mom 4 months ago, however it feels like years.  The first month wasn't so bad for me...I was kind of surprised...but since then I have been very bad.  I've been very depressed and I can't stop thinking that there is something physically wrong with me and that I may die too.  I'm 30 years old and a father of 2 little boys...the thought of dying and leaving them is too much for me to handle but I can't stop thinking about it.  Is this a normal part of grief?  It also makes me feel guilty because I feel like I'm not really grieving my mom but worrying about myself.  I can't work, I can't function normal, and one of the worst things about it is that even watching my boys play (which always used to make me happy) makes me sad because it makes me think that I may not be here for them.  I think there is something wrong with me because I have had a lot of tingling/numbness and muscle twitches since my mom has passed away...doctors(i've seen two) say it is anxiety/depression and I wish I could believe them but I can't.  I just wanted to see if anyone else went through anything like this and how did you handle it?

[suzi-q]

When I lost my parents, I went to a grief counseling group.  It was the best thing that I did.  Being with others who feel the same as you do is a very comforting experience.  I suggest that to all of you who are going through this terrible time.  Grief takes all people different times and we grieve different ways.  Do not put a timetable on yourself.  Feel what you need to feel.  It is a long road, but you will get through it with time.  May God bless all of you.

[RNRita]

I lost my mother June 24th, two days after my birthday.  I am grieving terribly and went to a bookstore to look at some books about grief.  One of them said that losing a mother can take 6-8 months for the acute phase to be over.  The person can feel anxiety, panic, depression, weight gain/loss, and numerous other symptoms. One of them was extreme fear that there is something wrong with you.  People even have chest pains.  I am a nurse and have been going through a terrible time, but at least now I know it is normal.  Good luck.  I'll be thinking of you.

[HockeyShark]

I am terribly sorry to hear of you loss.

My Mother passed away suddenly almost one year ago on July 23rd. Long traumatic story, we found her in the morning, gone, while visiting her in Yosemite, i was with my kids, it was hell.

Everyone experiences loss differntly. I was devistated, as was my brother. My Sister just went on being busy, and acting like nothing happened.

I imagine some of the reaction may be shock. Your body not knowing how to react, I felt like that at times as well.

Already, and still, suffering from depression and severe anxiety, I was helped by therapy, and lots of talking. I don't think you ever "Get over it" you just adjust to her not being there.

So talk, write, express your thoughts and feelings as best and often as you feel you need to.