Please help me, is this normal??

[royhobbs]

I recentally lost my dad on March 9th. Although I lived with him the last year we wasnt extremly close, however this was a very sudden death and I was way more involved than with any of the others (driving him to the hospital, being there when he died etc.)  I stayed alone in his house after the funeral for like 4 nights and freaked out on the 4th. I left and got an apartment on my own for the first time ever, I am alone.  All was good in April and May. Around June 1st it's like I crashed. There for about the first 12 days I was just miserable most of the day. I would feel kinda good for a little while then in the pits. Since then I have had like 4 full days where I felt pretty good but that bad feeling is coming and going. When I get it I can't breathe good and constantly think of death.  Is this normal greif and if so what can I expect and does anyone have any tips to cope. I am happy when I am around people and very seldom when I am alone.

[rossglass]

Hi
You are so not alone . My dad passed almost a year ago and I can barely speak about it. I have a husband and two children and I wasnt functioning at all. Panic sickness inability to do normal chores avoiding speaking to people the list is endless. I have found a brillant reflexologist who has helped me no end because i was always trying to be strong and not actually releasing the grief. After each session i could cry for at least 2 days but find the release in my chest is great. Where you are happy around people i am really putting on such a face which i find takes up much more energy. Everything you are experiencing is normal doctor says its not so much the death of a loved one but the shock to the system from a sudden death. Try a little 10min meditation (Brian l Weiss) if nothing else you will relax and breathe properly. It is very early days for you so be patient, it was around the 10th month that I was able to try and go about a daily routine. I am sorry for youre loss

[royhobbs]

It almost feels as if I have moved into a new level of grief. For the first 3 weeks I was miserable most of the day and was thinking about death constantly. Now I feel pretty decent most of the day but am having trouble sleeping

[royhobbs]

It scares me because now I cant stand being by myself.  I went to bed last week and had a panic attack. I am used to always having someone around and now I dont.  Can anyone relate to this?

[vivb53]

hi,im just wanting to say,i totaly agree with everything that suzi-q as said.i lost somone very suddenly as you have,and what you are desrcibing is just how i felt. it feels like your trapped in a nightmare,and you cant wake up.you know  it true,they realy have gon,but somehow you cant just grasp it,please trust me,it will get easier to cope with,but it takes time,time is a great healer. like the lady said,take one day at a time.and do try to remember the good times and the good things about them.you will get through this.  vivb53

[suzi-q]

You definitely are in the stages of grief.  :You will have good days, and bad days.  Bad days monopolize your life in the beginning and eventually the good ones will take over.  Grieving is a process.  The reason you felt "ok" in the beginning is because you were probably still in denial,  your body not realizing that he is actually gone. You will feel depressed and hopeless but eventually you will come to acceptance.  It doesn't happen all at once.  It is a bunch of baby steps and up and down , up and down....take your time and feel what you need to feel.

[jml1986]

Please read my post on (How do I go on without her). I think you will see that you are not alone.