What are things that have helped you cope?

[lifeslemons]

Life is crazy. Ups and downs and love and loss.

One thing that has really helped me is just being aware that every single person who has ever lived has dealt with death and loss. Throughout all of time. It might be a sad way to look at it, but it's the truth and nice to remember that you're not alone in your suffering.

When something bad happens in my life, I always remind myself.. "Worse things have happened to better people". I seem to say that a lot these days.

It's therapeutic for me to create something during those times as well. Pain and suffering have been the foundation of the best music this world has ever known. I'm sure that goes for poetry, plays, craftmenship and art of any kind. And even if whatever it is doesn't come out that great, it really helps me express and work out my own emotions.

I watch a lot of documentaries. It might be depressing for some people, but for me it goes back to that whole "Worse things have happened ..." thing. I recently saw "White Light/Black Rain", a documentary on Hiroshima and Nagasaki. I think that brought me out of my last suicidal period because I just realized life could be a lot worse and I did have a lot of things I should appreciate.

I'm not sure if this post will be considered insensitive or dark to some people. But I'm just being honest, these are some things that have helped me and maybe could help someone else deal with their own grief. I've had to deal with the loss of loved ones through murder, suicide, accidents, illness.. more recently I held my grandfather's hand as he died and his last words were, "I don't want to go". How do you deal with something like that?

I remind myself.. "Worse things have happened to better people".

Take care.

[Jaybay]

Yes, we're all different in our individual coping methods.  Oddly, when my father died of cancer I had an overwhelming need to understand the physiology of what happens to the body when we die.  Right about that time my mom gave me a book about that exact subject.  I can't remember the author, but the title was "How We Die" and it was written by a doctor.   While reading the book got the waterworks flowing again, it gave me everything I needed to know.  This is a man who deals with life and death every single day, and his book helped me to understand that death is indeed a part of life.  It helped me to finally accept the fact that my father was dead, and it was the right thing at the right time for him.  I guess it just gave me the understanding that he really was finally, at peace.

[jml1986]

Taking. I have been very open and expressive since losing my dad. I feel that if by telling my story, that I might be able to help them learn to cope.  I don't find comfort by thinking other people or worse off. When I was going through the loss of my dad, I must admit I didn't really care that other people were worse off. I think that we all go through it in different was, but when you are in the middle of it, it is all about how bad you are feeling and missing your loved one. Selfish? Yes, but it is human nature for us to feel bad that we lost our loved ones and not focus on other peoples problems.