It is has been about 3 1/2 months since I lost my sweet little angel Cooper and not a day goes by that I don't think about him. But, now I think about him and smile.
The first couple of weeks after he returned to heaven, I was a complete wreck, I even thought about taking my life. If it was not for my husband and my counselor, I am not to sure I would be here today. Cooper was my life. It took my husband and I two years to finally get pregnant with him and only 7 short weeks to loose him. He past away on July 23rd, due to a rare heart condition called HLHS. He was my first and he will always be my first. Now he is my Guaridan Angel and he makes sure I know that he is still looking after me everyday!!!
I am now at peace, yes I still get upset but I am no longer grieving. My counselor pointed this out to me this past Friday. He said, "look how far you have come in this time." At first it seems like the light at end of the tunnel, is so far and out of reach, but with the right support the tunnel is not so scary.
This is what I tell myself everyday. I say, "Rachel, live today like Cooper would want you to!" "Live this day to make all his Angel Buddies proud!!" Your daughter does not want you to be sad, she wants you to LIVE. Keep her alive by sharing her life with others, the more you tell the more will LOVE!!!!!
This is such a fresh and raw wound that takes time, love and patiences to heal. Do not let anyone rush you through the grieving process, it is very important that you embrace each stage, you might even find yourself going back and forth through stages but that is okay. I finally made it to the last stage and you will too.
I am here for you whenever you need. From one sad mother to another, we can help each other heal. Take care my friend and live life and make your daughter proud!!!!
Rachel and Baby Angel Cooper
somedays are better than others. as time goes on everyone else forgets but I never will. one minute i'm fine and the next well I'm a basket case.. My heart aches for my child.. I want him backa nd am very angry that I had no choice in the matter.. I have other children I need to function for.. I want another to add to my life..
I really don't think there is really an answer to that question. Just try and remember, that how long you grieve is not a measure of how much Your daughter would never want you to stop living because of her death. My heart goes out to you.