grieving over my son

[mitzi459]

Has anyone out there lost there child due to 4 wheeler accident. i lost my son almost 7 months ago due to a 4 wheeler accident. its been so hard on me.

[PromisedLand]

Having just recently lost my son at 26, I can total relate to you and will keep you in my thoughts and prayers..his death came suddenly after an accident which caused him to become critically ill....


I know it will get easier with time, but so far not a day goes by where I don't have a "breakdown" and cry my eyes out...we lost him a week before Thanksgiving..and Christmas was extremely difficult..

May your son rest in peace, and may you find peace and comfort.


Jim

[abby10]

See site- www.atvsafetynet.org

Time will help
abby

[john4321]

"All Is Well
Death is nothing at all,
I have only slipped into the next room
I am I and you are you
Whatever we were to each other, that we are still.
Call me by my old familiar name,
Speak to me in the easy way which you always used
Put no difference in your tone,
Wear no forced air of solemnity or sorrow
Laugh as we always laughed at the little jokes we enjoyed together.
Play, smile, think of me, pray for me.
Let my name be ever the household world that it always was,
Let it be spoken without effect, without the trace of shadow on it.
Life means all that it ever meant.
It it the same as it ever was, there is unbroken continuity.
Why should I be out of mind because I am out of sight?
I am waiting for you, for an interval, somewhere very near,
Just around the corner.
All is Well."

[abby10]

I lost my only child on October 12, 2005 his name was Keith Richard Ingaharra, he was 28, he was shot during a traffic dispute. I miss him every day. I hope for the day I answer the phone and someone tells me his killer was stabbed to death in prision. His parole is in 2011.

My cousin's best friend's 8 year old son was killed while riding an atv in Frederick, Md. My cousin did extensive research about the subject and lobbied for stricter saftey regulations and more disclosure laws. I will look up her web site and pm you.

My thoughts are with you,
abby

[Missyk78]

I did not lose a child from a 4 wheeler accident, but I have lost a child from cancer. Her name was Destiny and she was 6 years old. She died 4/24/2004
Yes it does hurt to lose a child. You know that most hospitals offer a grief support group called compassionate friends. It's for parents who have lost a child. At first I was not interested in it at all but now I go every month. It really helps. Also you don't have to act like you are feeling one thing when you are feeling pain!  You also meet others that share your pain and it really helps.
If you ever need to talk contact me. I know how lonely grief is at times.

[Mid]

I dont know what its like to lose a child!

I lost my sister to murder 6 months ago and like you I have been told to take those baby steps.

But its hard because I to feel that I'm getting worse!

People have said that it is normal to feel like you are on a roller coaster!

Up and down some days are a little better then others , then it feels like it I'm back to where I started!


Are there any support groups around you where you can meet others who have been through this?

I joined a group and the first time I went to that meeting, it felt ok to cry there because these people knew what I was feeling as they have been through the same thing.

I know how you feel as far as, dont like doing anything anymore as I feel the same way!

Your in my thoughts

We are always here to help each other never keep your feelings in always talk to someone!

Take care
Mid

[mitzi459]

Yes i do agree with you. This has been so very hard for me. We never believe that our children should go before us. This has been a Nightmare for me. I Miss my Son so much. Alot of times i feel like i cant go on this way. I cant understand Why ? He got killed on an early Birthday Party for me and was buried on on my real Birthday. I cant understand that either. Me and My Husband are Grieving totally different. Which is normal. No one grieve's alike. I do like going to the graveyard everyday and changing his flower's but my husband doesnt like going. I know that my son is in heaven but i know the body he used is in the ground and i know that is close as i am going to get to his body. I will not get rid of nothing that belongs to my son. I will keep his stuff forever. I miss him so much. Me and Michael was so very close. We were around each other all the time. He didnt like being away from me and i didnt like being away from him.He was such a mama's boy. In his 16 1/2 years he spent the night away from home 5 times and that was next door to his nanny's house. and most of the time he would walk back home which was next door. My life will never be the same. I dont like doing anything any more. I feel like i am leaving him out. If i were to go one mile up the road he was always with me. I just dont like doing nothing anymore ,its not the same. Michael was with me and now he is not. I dont know that i am going to get through this. i dont take any Medication. I dont wont to half to depend on that to get me through his death. i wont to do this on my own. People tell me to take baby step's and that i am doing but its getting worse for me.I dont know what to do. :-( i feel lost. Thank you for your help

[Hollie831]

My son did not die in a 4-wheeler accident, but he died from a gunshot wound when he and three friends were out hunting and Joey was accidently shot. He was 19 years old.  Joey died April 22, 2004.  It has been the most difficult thing I have ever had to deal with in my life.  It has been 4 and 1/2 years and I can honestly say that I am just beginning to adjust to life without him actively in it.  It is a very difficult thing to go through and the holidays are very hard.  We will NEVER forget or stop loving our child...... no matter how much time passes by.  People don't always understand that and sometimes make comments that are hurtful, but in reality are trying to make us feel better.  Although I don't understand WHY my son had to die, it didn't change the fact that he is dead.  I had to work very hard at not becoming bitter.  I try to think of the things that Joey taught me, like enjoying life and being a good person.   I don't have any words that will ease your hurt, but sometimes a support group (such as the Bereaved Parents of the USA, or the
Compassionate Friends) is helpful.  They both have websites and also send out newsletters each month.  I would encourage you to consider checking into what support groups may be in your area and try attending when you are ready.  Just know that each of us grieve in our own way and THERE IS NO RIGHT OR WRONG WAY TO GRIEVE.  You must do what is right for you.  And there is no time frame for grieving.  You NEVER GET OVER IT, as some people may say, but we can learn to live with our grief.  Remember, though, that it is important to grieve, no matter how hard it is.  And grieving is a tough process that takes time.  My thoughts are with you, and I wish you peace.

[kjmomma]

While I've not lost a child to a quad accident; I can sympathize for you because I ride a 4 wheeler myself and have had multiple accidents (minor mostly), but one accident I think is the culprit to my neck problem.  I'm very sorry to hear of your loss.....4 wheers can be dangerous and it's very easy to steer/ride out of control.  

Talk to him, tell him to send you signals and/or signs.