Going through depression... all my family is going through....

[Smiley1247]

This is my first time here well..., I lost my grandma in October 2010 and now it's February 2012 but still can't forget her.... She was my last grandparent but then she also left me and my family....Now I don't have any grandparent.... My mom and I are both deeply moved by it... We both, well actually my whole family but particularly my mom and me used to be SOOO like happy-go-lucky despite our other problems, we used to be SO always happy, well kind of, but now we both just can't even laugh or smile properly, I mean our laugh and smile all is incomplete.... we both feel SOOOO incomplete.... I just can't put it through words....

[gadfly850]

you G mom had a good life
and lived longer than many people

be grateful for that.

[Smiley1247]

Thanks very very much for your concern and response!
I & my mom, both we laugh and smile A LOT and people say we do laugh and smile a lot but our eyes are always sad and lonely... It's kind of a reflex for both of us; we already had other big problems (personal family issues... prefer not to tell anybody) and she always would lock herself in her room and there she'll cry but in front of us all, she's always cheering us up so I've learnt this from her... Always cheering everyone up and laughing ourselves as well as making others laugh - that's as normal as breathing and as normal as a reflex action for both of us.....
Even other thing about us in the category of recovering and being happy, is same - we both write - we both express our feelings and thoughts through writing and let me tell u - I and my mom are GREAT writers - really I could post some of my work here but I don't think this is a nice place to post so i have some websites where I've posted some of my work....
I have actually selected writing as my proffession... I always was good at writing at school too and I already started writing before and it was good....