losing a child

[lisaob1]

hi,i lost my daughter 15 years ago this august,she was 4 years old when she died.she had many medical problems but none of which i thought i was going to lose her for one minute. then she was involved in the alderhey organ scandal and over a period of 7 years i buried her 3 times... regardless of all that. for people that have lost children in ther lives? i try to be positive and move on,which im doing my best,but i feel a huge void that cant be filled,and i know that will never go away. but i know thats just the way it is for a mum that has lost a daughter,,or son,its something i know i have to live with and iv come to terms with that as i know i have no choice....i guess im wondering whether im alone in the way i feel.

[mammo]

It sounds like our lives are very similar.  We have a colon disease in our family which took my husband at 31.  My sons were diagnosed at 12 and 16 and had to have their entire colons removed.  My youngest son has done very well, but not my oldest and we lost him.  He had two little boys, and one year after losing their dad, the eldest who was 10 was diagnosed with the disease and endured 38 surgeries by the age of 16.  We lost him two years ago at the age of 18 after a very brave battle.  Now we live in fear of my now oldest grandson who is 17, developing the disease.  I know what you are going through...the fears, the pain the worry.  Big hugs to you and your daughter, and write anytime.  Take care.

[lisaob1]

dear mammo,your so right,i had a 20 month year old daughter that needed me when i lost my little girl and if it wasnt for her i dont know what i would of done.she is now almost 17 years old and is my friend,my gorgeous girl and my life..but she too has problems,and we will face them head on but its been long and hard.my girls wer born with a rare syndrome,i lost my eldest through heart complications but my little girl now has other problems related to the same syndrome,in my heart im trying to accept,but i feel if i do,im accepting defeat for my daughter now..it just lives on in me,and thats ok coz its all i know,and there is nothing anything or anybody can change that,..i know that. guess im just having a vent.
sorry to go on and sound depressing to you,i really am,..having a right rant arent i.thanks anyway for your kind words  with love

[mammo]

Hi.  I think you explained very well how we moms feel who have lost a child. A part of us goes with our child, we never feel complete again. But I knew I had to go on for my other children and family who need and love me.  I miss my son every single day, and think of all he's missing as well.  Our worlds are a little darker, and emptier, but we must accept and go on.  I wish you well.