Bachelor Party Concern

[je1986]

Hello all,

Over the past month I have been a regular on this forum (rummaging through various threads related to my experience) After reading through what seems like hundreds, I have been able to generalize my experience as a fairly "low risk" exposure.  However, it still has not eased my anxiety, as this is all that I can think about.  In part because I have read some conflicting information on other forums regarding this matter.

Anyway, the story goes as follows: My buddies and I visited a local strip club for my bachelor party (the club was fairly upscale, however, it was my first experience in a strip joint)  Of course, they decided to buy me a private dance.  I wasn't to keen on the idea, but I went along with it anyway.  The girl (korean or asian) led me to a private area for my "lap dance" She was topless with just a thong on her for bottoms - she began the dance by using my bare fingers to stimulate her vagina.  They did not penetrate too deep, and this went on for only a minute or two.  She was also kissing me (with tongue) and rubbing her nipples by my mouth area.  I was somewhat leery of the whole situation, but I figured "what the heck" it's going to be my last experience as a single man.  This was all the "dance" entailed.  No oral, vaginal, or anal penetration was involved.  

It wasn't until the next day (when i sobered up) that i began to think I could have put myself, but more importantly, my future wife, at risk.  I don't believe I had any cuts on my fingers/hand (I am a nail biter)  And I also don't believe I was bleeding or had any open wounds in my mouth. I remembered I didn't wash my hands until we arrived at another bar (not a strip club, 1 was enough!)  But it's difficult to be certain, and my mind has been getting the best of me - I have had symptoms of swollen glands, weakness, frequent urination, poor appetite.  I am aware most of these can be attributed to extreme anxiety....but what about swollen glands??  This happened two month ago, and it has been all I can think about (my new wife is going crazy because I haven't been intimate, in fear that I don't want to possibly hurt her future)

I have had three doctor's tell me my situation was low risk, and didn't necessarily merit a test, but I went ahead with one anyway.  I am extremely nervous and am hoping for the best, but I can't keep the negative thoughts out of my head.  What does everyone think??

Sorry for rambling....can you tell I'm extremely nervous???  Thanks in advance for any comments/feedback....it is truly appreciated.

[je1986]

Thank you.  Absolutely no oral, vaginal, or anal penetration was involved.  

[Vance2335]

A cut that would posea risk would be one where you would be at the hospital getting stiches not doing anything else.

Nothing you can add will change anything unless you change he story to say you had unprotected vaginal sex with her.

[je1986]

Thank you for the re-assurance - I think I am most concerned about possibly having cuts/hangnails on my fingers.  I am a nail biter, so I'm sure there are cuts that I am not aware of.  However, what I've taken from the forum is that a cut would be very visible and have to be currently bleeding in order to pose a risk?  Also, another detail I forgot to add was: she removed my finger from her vagina and licked it - then after a short time began deep kissing.  Does this change anything?  

Thank you

[Vance2335]

Are you really reading what you have been told?

You had no risk, so what does that mean to you?

[je1986]

Do you think it is safe to engage in unprotected sexual contact with my wife??  Given the content of my situation?

[je1986]

Thanks, Lizzie

[LIZZIE LOU]

your "symptoms" have nothing to do with hiv.

[je1986]

Thank you for your feedback - it calms my nerves a little as I am in the waiting process.  I am really struggling with being intimate with my wife - do you feel I should chalk this exposure up as a 1 time mistake and move forward?  I have had some weird symptoms like swollen glands, weakness (legs), headache, itchy skin...

[je1986]

I will add that I have also had a fairly constant headache - and an additional detail, my fingers were in contact with her vagina (this was under her thong)  So I was exposed to vaginal fluid