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Single exposure (oral) and paranoide thoughts
Hi,
As a hetero man I once, 6 days ago, had an potential unsafe experience with another man. I was at a massage parlor and that ended with me (wearing a eye mask for the light) getting a handjob and after that a blowjob without condom (both nicely asked before by the masseur).
So as soon as I went back home I started to freak out: did I get exposed to HIV by the blowjob? The last few days I literally spent hours and hours on this forum to find answers if receiving oral sex can cause HIV (reading the answer here was calming me a lot). And to get more confirmation on this I made a phone call to the Aids-fonds (Netherlands), they could also guarantee me, like mentioned here on the forum many times, from receiving oral sex without condom HIV is not a risk (the person on the phone verified many times).
After that phone call I felt really relieved because the risk was zero. But within minutes paranoid thoughts kicked in: could the masseur, while I was getting the handjob (when I was blind folded with the mask) climbed up to massage table (the table was setup in height by the masseur once in the beginning for the massage) and rubbed my penis to his anus, or even penetrate him? I'm quite convinced I would have noticed that or had to feel that on my penis, but still I'm not getting away with the idea.
So my question: I think I should stop think like this and continue with my life or is that a real scenario?
By the way: it really helps for me the read the posts on this forum, thanks all!
As a hetero man I once, 6 days ago, had an potential unsafe experience with another man. I was at a massage parlor and that ended with me (wearing a eye mask for the light) getting a handjob and after that a blowjob without condom (both nicely asked before by the masseur).
So as soon as I went back home I started to freak out: did I get exposed to HIV by the blowjob? The last few days I literally spent hours and hours on this forum to find answers if receiving oral sex can cause HIV (reading the answer here was calming me a lot). And to get more confirmation on this I made a phone call to the Aids-fonds (Netherlands), they could also guarantee me, like mentioned here on the forum many times, from receiving oral sex without condom HIV is not a risk (the person on the phone verified many times).
After that phone call I felt really relieved because the risk was zero. But within minutes paranoid thoughts kicked in: could the masseur, while I was getting the handjob (when I was blind folded with the mask) climbed up to massage table (the table was setup in height by the masseur once in the beginning for the massage) and rubbed my penis to his anus, or even penetrate him? I'm quite convinced I would have noticed that or had to feel that on my penis, but still I'm not getting away with the idea.
So my question: I think I should stop think like this and continue with my life or is that a real scenario?
By the way: it really helps for me the read the posts on this forum, thanks all!
Best Answer
Here are the risks for HIV and these are the only risks. To have unprotected vaginal or anal sex or share IV drug needles to inject drugs. Air and saliva inactivate the virus. If you read our forums, you have surely read this. So oral sex and hand jobs are NOT risk for HIV. We can't help your paranoid thoughts. That's for you to move past. But this is no risk and no reason to test.
1 Comments
Thank you for your reply! I just contacted the masseur to verify he only did the handjob+blowjob. He also told me he is a blood donor, so in case he would be HIV infected himself he should now that quite fast as bloods get checked (of course).
He confirmed that he did nothing else then that and also left his clothes on. So with that I should be at zero risk and now the hard comes: get rid of the paranoid thoughts.
To be sure I planned a test for Gonorrhea and Chlamydia (14 days after exposure). I also plan, just to be sure, a check for HIV as soon as possible.
I learned one thing from this: it was my first and last unsafe experience (also I found with this that I do not like sex with man).
He confirmed that he did nothing else then that and also left his clothes on. So with that I should be at zero risk and now the hard comes: get rid of the paranoid thoughts.
To be sure I planned a test for Gonorrhea and Chlamydia (14 days after exposure). I also plan, just to be sure, a check for HIV as soon as possible.
I learned one thing from this: it was my first and last unsafe experience (also I found with this that I do not like sex with man).
Sorry for posting again, I still have a question: Should I have noticed it when the masseur would have penetrated his anus with my penis while he performed the handjob (and I was wearing the mask, when he was performing the blowjob I moved the mask so I could see him, he was fully dressed)? The massage table was about 90cm high (35 inch) and the masseur is a normal height (not a tall guy). I think it is quite impossible to penetrate himself without me notice it (the table should have been moving then?).
When the massage was finished he told me that this was an exception, his clients are not from this kind normally and it is also not his intention.
I also phone called the masseur again (even a few times, he keeps friendly), he told me that he did nothing else then use his hands to massage me and in the beginning also told me that he did not do oral or at least he was vague about it (so I reminded him of that). I asked him about his sexlife and relationship and he told me that he is monogame (and I was that exception for him) and thus has a single male partner. In The Netherlands it is required for gay man to have an monogamic relation before you can be a blood-donor (which he told me he is).
When I asked him if it would be possible that he used my penis to touch his anus he told me he kept his clothes on all the time and also his table would not be able to hold it and I would have noticed it.
When I read this back it sounds nearly impossible that he did something else then just give the handjab, but the idea makes me think I might be exposed. Should I forgot all about it, zero risk and do test at 4 weeks?
When the massage was finished he told me that this was an exception, his clients are not from this kind normally and it is also not his intention.
I also phone called the masseur again (even a few times, he keeps friendly), he told me that he did nothing else then use his hands to massage me and in the beginning also told me that he did not do oral or at least he was vague about it (so I reminded him of that). I asked him about his sexlife and relationship and he told me that he is monogame (and I was that exception for him) and thus has a single male partner. In The Netherlands it is required for gay man to have an monogamic relation before you can be a blood-donor (which he told me he is).
When I asked him if it would be possible that he used my penis to touch his anus he told me he kept his clothes on all the time and also his table would not be able to hold it and I would have noticed it.
When I read this back it sounds nearly impossible that he did something else then just give the handjab, but the idea makes me think I might be exposed. Should I forgot all about it, zero risk and do test at 4 weeks?
4 Comments
You would have known if someone penetrated you. MOVE ON from this no-risk event.
Thank you for the quick reply. I'm not asking if I am penetrated but if I could have penetrated him (he climbing or bending over with his anus towards my penis and then direct my penis in is anus).
Same answer - you would have known, and it sounds like you have invented an impossible situation and that you are obsessing over irrational thoughts. If you cannot clear these thoughts on your own, see a mental health counselor for assistance.
Thank you CurfewX! I just wanted to double check my thoughts and are very thankful for the help!
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