Aa
Dealing with a complete Jerk
Dear Doctor,
I am a 25 year old white female living in Canada. The following is my situation:
I was dating a guy exclusively for a period of about 3 months. After discussion on testing we had both stated that we had recently been tested and not had unprotected sex since the testing. As such, we had both made a mutual decision to not use condoms. After a few months out of no where the guy became completely not who I thought he was. It turned out that he had somewhat of a drug habit i.e. almost every weekend would engage in drugs such as cocaine and ecstasy; however no IV drugs or needles involved. When finding this out I ended things right away with the guy and he became quit angry and hostile. He is a white male 24 years of age also living in Canada. He then proceeded to tell me that while we were together he slept with at least 4 one night stands with other women with whom he did not use protection with. I assume that his one night stands consisted of girls he may have met at the bar or certain house parties. Most likely between the ages of 18-25. I had slept with this guy maybe 6 times without protection; only vaginal sex and never anal. I don’t know if he was just saying all of this to make me upset; but something makes me believe that with his use of drugs his judgment may not have been the best.
I understand that I should have used condoms but this is something that did happen and that I did learn from. My main concerns are the following:
1.What are the chances that a promiscuous white male who does not practice safe sex contract HIV?
2.What are the chances that if he did contract HIV that I would contract it from him during Vagina sex that ended with him ejaculating inside of me?
3.That a male contract HIV during a one night stand kind of situation with no protection?
4. Would this be considered a high risk exposure that would warrant testing?
I just went to get testing for cervical swab and just waiting on my results. I also requested a lab form for syphilis and HIV and am not sure when the best time to go tested would be. The doctor recommended that I go right away and then again in 6 months. I have not gone for the blood work yet. The last sexual exposure that I had with this guy was November 21, 2009. I have just had a lot of anxiety because I have never had someone react like this to a break-up and say such things such as “I’ve slept with 4 girls while with you and did not use protection, have fun” and seem so proud of not using protection and ignorant about std’s. I just want to get some kind of reassurance of my chances of contracting HIV as my anxiety is overpowering many things in my life right now.
Thank you for your advice.
I am a 25 year old white female living in Canada. The following is my situation:
I was dating a guy exclusively for a period of about 3 months. After discussion on testing we had both stated that we had recently been tested and not had unprotected sex since the testing. As such, we had both made a mutual decision to not use condoms. After a few months out of no where the guy became completely not who I thought he was. It turned out that he had somewhat of a drug habit i.e. almost every weekend would engage in drugs such as cocaine and ecstasy; however no IV drugs or needles involved. When finding this out I ended things right away with the guy and he became quit angry and hostile. He is a white male 24 years of age also living in Canada. He then proceeded to tell me that while we were together he slept with at least 4 one night stands with other women with whom he did not use protection with. I assume that his one night stands consisted of girls he may have met at the bar or certain house parties. Most likely between the ages of 18-25. I had slept with this guy maybe 6 times without protection; only vaginal sex and never anal. I don’t know if he was just saying all of this to make me upset; but something makes me believe that with his use of drugs his judgment may not have been the best.
I understand that I should have used condoms but this is something that did happen and that I did learn from. My main concerns are the following:
1.What are the chances that a promiscuous white male who does not practice safe sex contract HIV?
2.What are the chances that if he did contract HIV that I would contract it from him during Vagina sex that ended with him ejaculating inside of me?
3.That a male contract HIV during a one night stand kind of situation with no protection?
4. Would this be considered a high risk exposure that would warrant testing?
I just went to get testing for cervical swab and just waiting on my results. I also requested a lab form for syphilis and HIV and am not sure when the best time to go tested would be. The doctor recommended that I go right away and then again in 6 months. I have not gone for the blood work yet. The last sexual exposure that I had with this guy was November 21, 2009. I have just had a lot of anxiety because I have never had someone react like this to a break-up and say such things such as “I’ve slept with 4 girls while with you and did not use protection, have fun” and seem so proud of not using protection and ignorant about std’s. I just want to get some kind of reassurance of my chances of contracting HIV as my anxiety is overpowering many things in my life right now.
Thank you for your advice.
As per Teak's comments - I think that there are a lot of "what ifs" here.
1. With a standard antibody tests, a 3-month test is conclusive; but you can get something reasonably comforting at 4 weeks post exposure with a combined HIV and P24 antigen test. Try the clinic at Church and Wellesley.
2. Odds of a straight male, non-IV-drug user in Canada having HIV are small. In the UK, they say 1/1000.
3. Odds of contracting HIV IF he were positive, for you, would be 1/1000 per exposure
4. You don't actually know if he slept with 4 women unprotected.
5. Calm down. It is unlikely you contracted HIV; get a test at 4 weeks for comfort and speak to your doctor then about testing and risk. He/she will be much more knowledgeable.
If you have further questions, direct them to HHH, Hook, or Cummings in the expert forum.
1. With a standard antibody tests, a 3-month test is conclusive; but you can get something reasonably comforting at 4 weeks post exposure with a combined HIV and P24 antigen test. Try the clinic at Church and Wellesley.
2. Odds of a straight male, non-IV-drug user in Canada having HIV are small. In the UK, they say 1/1000.
3. Odds of contracting HIV IF he were positive, for you, would be 1/1000 per exposure
4. You don't actually know if he slept with 4 women unprotected.
5. Calm down. It is unlikely you contracted HIV; get a test at 4 weeks for comfort and speak to your doctor then about testing and risk. He/she will be much more knowledgeable.
If you have further questions, direct them to HHH, Hook, or Cummings in the expert forum.
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