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10 years of Hell
This post is for other worried online posters. I've been regular on this site to learn about HIV risks and prevention. To summarize, you can protect yourself from HIV by having 1) condom protected anal or vaginal sex 2) use condom correctly and consistently and 3) of course do not share needles.
I knew about all these and I engaged in many different sexual acts with different females over the course of last 10 years. To be exact, I engaged with well over 30 different females and they were mixture of CSW, massage parlor workers and girl next door that I might have met at the club or the causal dating.
Anyhow, my "risky" behavior was extreme aggressive french kiss, receiving unprotected blowjob from almost all of them, giving one time unprotected oral sex (going down on her) to my co-worker, giving and receiving rimjob (rear licking).
All my vaginal sex acts were condom protected, no exceptions. Although one incident freaked out me when after the sex I realized that the CSW was on her period and the entire condom along with shaft of my penis was covered with blood.
These all happened in last 10 years (from 2008 to 2018). During all these times, I was worried that I have HIV. And of course, I had all the symptoms that you can think of (for example, swollen lymph nodes behind ear and in armpits, rash, low grade fever, cough, bleeding gums, reoccurring boils, reoccurring mouth sores and tongue ulcers etc..) I got sick with common cold/flue 2 times and both times it took me few weeks to recover.
Deep down inside, I kept thinking that I am having these symptoms because of HIV. Else, why would I get reoccurring boils and mouth sores. What I didn't think was that I was going through nervous breakdown and extreme anxiety. I was so depressed that my immune system became so vulnerable.
Finally, I talked myself into getting at home Ora-Quick HIV test. Because what's the worst that could happen? Find out you have the disease. Well, then start the treatment and end this emotional hell.
Just 2 hours ago, I went to Walgreens and picked at Ora-Quick HIV test. I gathered the courage to swap the test stick and waited 20 minutes for the results. Needless to say, those were longest 20 minutes of my life. In the end, the results were NEGATIVE.
All these times I was going through guilt and keep blaming myself that I made mistakes. But, what I didn't do was listened to the advice on this site (for example, oral sex and kissing are no to zero risk).
I didn't need to write this post but I know there are many other worried guys/girls out there that goes through same hell that I was going through. I hope this post gives you reassurance.
Thanks for reading and God Bless!!
I knew about all these and I engaged in many different sexual acts with different females over the course of last 10 years. To be exact, I engaged with well over 30 different females and they were mixture of CSW, massage parlor workers and girl next door that I might have met at the club or the causal dating.
Anyhow, my "risky" behavior was extreme aggressive french kiss, receiving unprotected blowjob from almost all of them, giving one time unprotected oral sex (going down on her) to my co-worker, giving and receiving rimjob (rear licking).
All my vaginal sex acts were condom protected, no exceptions. Although one incident freaked out me when after the sex I realized that the CSW was on her period and the entire condom along with shaft of my penis was covered with blood.
These all happened in last 10 years (from 2008 to 2018). During all these times, I was worried that I have HIV. And of course, I had all the symptoms that you can think of (for example, swollen lymph nodes behind ear and in armpits, rash, low grade fever, cough, bleeding gums, reoccurring boils, reoccurring mouth sores and tongue ulcers etc..) I got sick with common cold/flue 2 times and both times it took me few weeks to recover.
Deep down inside, I kept thinking that I am having these symptoms because of HIV. Else, why would I get reoccurring boils and mouth sores. What I didn't think was that I was going through nervous breakdown and extreme anxiety. I was so depressed that my immune system became so vulnerable.
Finally, I talked myself into getting at home Ora-Quick HIV test. Because what's the worst that could happen? Find out you have the disease. Well, then start the treatment and end this emotional hell.
Just 2 hours ago, I went to Walgreens and picked at Ora-Quick HIV test. I gathered the courage to swap the test stick and waited 20 minutes for the results. Needless to say, those were longest 20 minutes of my life. In the end, the results were NEGATIVE.
All these times I was going through guilt and keep blaming myself that I made mistakes. But, what I didn't do was listened to the advice on this site (for example, oral sex and kissing are no to zero risk).
I didn't need to write this post but I know there are many other worried guys/girls out there that goes through same hell that I was going through. I hope this post gives you reassurance.
Thanks for reading and God Bless!!
Just to let you know, oral sex exposes you to other STDs so if you have had those intercourses with random women it would be also interesting to test for the rest of STDs.
1 Comments
True. I did tested for other STDs with exception of herpes and it all came out clean. I didn't test for herpes due to no symptoms.
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